My girlfriend's dad threatens to "beat my ass" when he sees me... thoughts and advice?

Get some self defense tools, maybe like pepper spray or something.

why?

Get the police involved if you have to. If this father of her threatens violence, then he's a real dickweed.

I agree with @the_randomizer hes got a point.

If he does not have any reason to attack you, then you have 100% right to protect yourself in any possible way and then call police. Just remember that you want to stop him from attacking you, not actualy doing a hurt to him, otherwise it will backfire against you.

Calling the police, I can't emphasize that enough, and/or learn self defense. Is your state a castle doctrine state?

beat his ass first

@the_randomizer yes it is

What City, State, country, Etc you live in can drastically affect your approach, especially her age.

If she's above legal age for where you live, then if he does attack you you can call the cops.
If he's directly threatened you, you should visit the police station and file a report. At the least if he DOES attack you, they'll know it was premeditated. If his threat was indirect, then it might count as hearsay and they probably can't take it as seriously. I am not very strong on this part of law. But reporting it will form a degree of 'awareness' to the cops that will allow them to confirm premeditation.
If he already has attacked you, then prepare for a lawsuit, a good # of lawyers will file a case and only take money if you win, which presuming you handle it right, you win.


If she's under 18 you're shit out of luck. You should wait until she's at least 18.

Check your state's laws for threats of bodily harm, considering that this guy has a history, your girlfriend can also attest to this and the cops can take it more seriously if he does directly threaten you, especially if the guy's on record for breaking a guy's nose. Hopefully that report was listed to the cops as well.

Do not take this lightly. And neither should she. If you two love each other you'll support each other. If she can't support you through an abusive father, then that proves she doesn't love you enough, and that issue may become a severe point of stress as your relationship goes on if the father's not dealt with, and the relationship can, and probably will, break down.

Most of all, do not get aggressive with him. Work with preservation of your relationship and well being in mind. Warn her that what you're doing is to protect not only yourself, but your relationship with her. That you don't want him in trouble, but if need be you'd go as far as necessary to protect not only yourself, but her too. Because who knows what he'll do to her if she continues to 'disobey' him and go out with you. Make sure to act calm and kind at all points, especially understanding of him. But most of all, do not, under any circumstances, show anger or aggression, especially physical. As long as he throws the first punch and witnesses see this, and if you win in self defense, you win even if he's bloody and you're not as all evidence is in your favor.

Make sure that you meet on territory that favors you - your neighborhood, your friends neighborhood, etc. Make it clear he came to you and that reinforces the idea he came looking to pick a fight.

Edit: Also obtain knowledge on self-defense laws for your state/city. Do not, I repeat: do NOT bring a firearm into this, as that's a huge can of worms that can only scale out of control. If it does devolve to shooting, then have witnesses around that it was in self defense of a serious threat. Check with the girlfriend if this guy has a gun or any other weapons around the house, and begin preparations and countermeasures. If she knows he's fond of maintaining/utilizing any, then informing the police ASAP will help. Worst case, the presence of that info will trail to her father.

Get those pen cameras or a microphone and if you do meet him and you get in a fight (probably bring pepper spray or something) then you could sue him cause you got evidence.

Kill him with kindness. Just be excited to meet him, tell him what a pleasure it is to finally get to know him. Quickly find some common ground, maybe there's a football team he loves or something like that, show you're a fan of them as well, and just bond. Try and be his friend. Can't guarantee it will work, but I have to imagine you'd have a better chance of avoiding any kind of fight by going this route than if you anticipate having to fight him as you are first meeting him.

sorry i cant give the answer because im still 14 yeras old

While Jacklack3's advise could be considered 'smart', some courts may find it illegal too. Be very careful about recording him without his permission. However federal law does protect you. Quoting from http://www.dmlp.org/legal-guide/recording-phone-calls-and-conversations

"
When must you get permission from everyone involved before recording?

Eleven states require the consent of every party to a phone call or conversation in order to make the recording lawful. These "two-party consent" laws have been adopted in California, Connecticut, Florida, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Montana, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania and Washington. (Notes: (1) Illinois' two-party consent statute was held unconstitutional in 2014; (2) Hawai'i is in general a one-party state, but requires two-party consent if the recording device is installed in a private place; (3) Massachusetts bans "secret" recordings rather than requiring explicit consent from all parties.). Although they are referred to as "two-party consent" laws, consent must be obtained from every party to a phone call or conversation if it involves more than two people. In some of these states, it might be enough if all parties to the call or conversation know that you are recording and proceed with the communication anyway, even if they do not voice explicit consent. See the State Law: Recording section of this legal guide for information on specific states' wiretapping laws."

If you want more serious advice, use reddit's /r/legaladvice , they would be more likely to help you in a more fluid manner, but you'd need to reveal your state.

It might just be an empty threat because you are dating his daughter. A lot of parent are more accepting of a boyfriend better if you are forward. You will have to tell him eventually.

start lifting weights

Don't meet him. Sounds like she doesn't want you to for a good reason. I'm sure she also lives with her grandparents and not her parents for a very good reason as well. It's not the end of the world, and sounds like it would be entirely more trouble than it's worth. Anyone here suggesting you do meet him is insane.

Also, and I can't stress this enough, if you are dumb enough to try meet him and he does attack you, don't be the pussy that pepper sprays his girlfriend's father.

if he is just blood-related to your gf, and even she won't stay with him, just forget it. what will change if you meet her parent? even if you become his friend, that will just incomodate to your gf.

fuck em up quick time with a N U T T Kick

here, son, take this

What do you expect to gain from meeting them? I rarely find violent people with impulse control issues to be worth meeting.

There is a phrase I quite like that runs "you can choose your friends by you can't choose your family". It has many implications but in this case it sounds like your girlfriend already introduced you to people that matter in her life and parents probably would have the word biological stuck on the front, or be little more than a womb and a sperm donor. If they actually mattered to her then yeah it makes sense to eventually meet them and make an effort, if they do not and all you have is some notion of tradition then again why?

Re self defence. While I am not going to discourage learning some at the same time experience counts for a lot and "and all his life he has gotten into fights" probably means quite a bit of experience, formal or otherwise, and spending a few nights a week for a couple of months will likely just antagonise them and lead to worse results for you. Self defence is a viable defence in court but the fact is you would be in court trying to sell it and everybody sensible tends to want to avoid being in court.
If it comes to pass that you are going to meet best in public, somewhere they don't control (basically don't go to their favourite bar where everybody knows him and will swear blind that you fell over, and try to pick a place where if it does kick off that it can be resolved quickly and more safely -- if a place has decent security and few hard and spiky surfaces...).