My dad made a "Face Book" to find "nice people"

So, to preface, my father is a 65 year old Persian man, who doesn't really have a concept of anything past the 1990s. He doesn't understand credit cards, he cannot make a call with a cellular nor smart phone, and he thinks Amazon makes every computer ever. The most experience he has with tech is playing poker on a tablet. And he doesn't know how to get rid of the micro-transaction popups, so he gives up when those happen.

So of course he'd be the prime person to use Facebook. Wait what?

He walked into my room today, acting very nervous, and asked me, quietly, "'Chary'...What is a, I may say this wrong...eh...Face Book?" I told him it's a site where people post about their life, basically, and share pictures. He was confused, but he tried to accept it. After all, he still thinks to share a picture, you have to go to a place to get film developed and printed. But he'd heard from a friend of his that people can "talk" to each other, without phone numbers. He had to know what kind of magic allowed something that wild and new.

When I told him that you can indeed talk to people by using "something sorta like a typewriter, yeah", he excitedly asked me to make an account for him. He wanted to talk to his sisters in Iran, and catch up with them. So as I'm getting one of my alt emails for an account, he asks me, "Do they need my address? I bet I have to give them my address, right? Will I break your mom's Facebook if I make one!?" then he starts to worry. I'm trying my best to hide my laughter, and I tell him it's okay, he doesn't need to worry. Then, he pulls out a ten dollar bill, and tells me to "Pay for a Face Book this way". I just lose it at this point and burst out laughing. First of all, he thought he needed to pay for Facebook. Second, he thought he thought I could send the money in the mail for it. That's too funny.

Once I finalize his account, he gets all excited. I try to teach him how to use the laptop, telling him to click on the search bar, and type in who he wants to find. He doesn't understand what a click is. Agonizingly, I teach him from step 1 how to use this new and wondrous technology. He still can't get it. So I give up and type his sister's name in, and find her profile, and friend it. Dad doesn't seem to fully understand anything that's going on, but he seems to grasp that now he can talk with his sister. He dictates a message, which I type, and I send it.

Finally finished, I go sit down and play some games and write. He continually calls me back into the living room, for different issues. He accidentally hit the windows key, so he thinks he broke the computer. Go back, sit down. Get called back, because he doesn't understand why his brother "liked" his message. What is a like!? Get called back to solve the mysterious issue of him clicking this weird thing called Google. Go back, sit down, grab my controller... and get called back, because he's sad. Why is he sad? He clicked an ad that told him he could get free things by clicking it. Cue an eye twitch. Install Adblock. Go back to my room.

Then finally, once last time, he asks me how to find more people to talk to. I tell him to type what he wants to find, in the facebook search. So I watch him stare at the screen, and one by one, type in letters. I glance back up at the screen to see "nice people" typed into the facebook bar. I don't know whether to "d'awww" or die from laughter.

My dad might not know much about computers, but he's learning, and in quite possibly the funniest way possible.
  • Like
Reactions: 59 people

Comments

Huh? I didn't know your dad was the same age as my dad. Anyway what you described is basically what I went through to setup my dad on WhatsApp a few months ago. All his family is on there any they talk all the time because of it. Teaching him the art of holding your finger on a screen so you can delete something took more time then it should have but he is happy.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people
"First of all, he thought he needed to pay for Facebook."

Well, you do pay for it, but:

lets-just-say-you-dont-pay-with-money-19989009.png
 
  • Like
Reactions: 7 people
E
i clicked this half expecting you to of bought him a book titled facebook XD
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3 people
The last thing I explained to my dad is how to "manually" activate a certain car servicing program...

...but despite his strong lack of IT intuition (in great part due to absymal English knowledge - he's the kind of person to have Chrome's auto translate on by default, and he still calls me to buy from Chinese sites :D), it's actually my mom that asks the boring questions - most of them about doing X on some website I don't care about
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people
makes me remember about my mom, she says i put virus on her pc when she literally confess "there was something saying to click and install so i did"
 
  • Like
Reactions: 5 people
You might want to tell him about the types of scams on the internet. Otherwise his long lost cousin from Nigeria might offer to send him millio... Hold on, my cousin from Nigeria is calling. Apparently my Uncle passed away and I'm rich. Later suckers.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 4 people
I've lived through this several times, I think my PTSD is coming back after reading this. /s

The weird part is that my father taught me how to use computers (well, that was back when a Commodore 64 was a "computer"). And no, he doesn't have any kind of mental problem, he hasn't suffered any stroke, and he is still not senile (I guess). So how did he unlearn so much? I can't even...

Anyway, that "nice people" ending is just too cute.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3 people
V
NO DAD, FACEBOOK IS A PROPRIETARY BOTNET THAT SELLS YOUR DATA. LET ME TEACH YOU HOW TO SPEAK WITH YOUR SISTERS THROUGH A SECURE INTERNET RELAY CHAT ON A GNU/LINUX OPERATING SYSTEM

ugh dad, when will he ever learn
 
  • Like
Reactions: 8 people
Lmaooooooo.Im so dead. Like my mom when she can't see why her phone is talking to her and its siri.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3 people

Blog entry information

Author
Chary
Views
386
Comments
108
Last update

More entries in Personal Blogs

More entries from Chary

General chit-chat
Help Users
  • No one is chatting at the moment.
    K3N1 @ K3N1: https://i.ibb.co/gTVKLHF/bill-king-of-the-hill.gif