Last week was weird....

Well since the start of this week I have serious problems my spirit seems to be fucked for no reason. Ill explain. At the start of the week I was getting pretty unsure off a few things the most important one; I am in love with a guy, I know he likes me.(A bit or very much; I am not sure) and yeah err I believe I am not that important for him. That made me sad. Not a bit very much the whole week I had the feeling I could cry. Today was even more weird; it started early when I did go to my job. I was full of positive energy since I am nearly done with this job(It's my summervacation-job and I HATE it.) soo I was like 2 days and then done!! Then I got scared a bit because I was busy with my normal things and bam all positive 'energy' was gone! I was all negative and feeling like shit because of the guy I am in love with and when I left my place to get a few things for lunch I began to get positive again I thought nice! Back at my place the negativity started to get around me again. And when a certain person left the negative energy around me was gone.. I was like wtf further I had no chance to get some fresh air and the negative energy sucked my positive energy away.

So while cycling home my brains were freaking above me. I got a headache and well after it was gone(Just 5 minutes) I started thinking I would be better off being a girl... 0.o now thinking back to that moment I am shocked I am certain I have never had this before. Yeah I had some thought like damn girls are better then boys and I wanna be one. But those were not to serious. This was different really I never felt like this before. And I want to make everything pink... My color options in 3DS pink, Windows Pink and my playstation background is pink and girlish.

And suddenly I started to try to lose weight. I want to eat less fatty food because I think I am too heavy. Which is untypical for me!

But I hope this explains enough could somebody tell me what the hell is going on with me? And I am gay.

I feel like I could cry again.

*update* I asked my best friend; he said this: Well since the begin of this vacation you started acting more girlish.

Comments

Wombo Combo
[quote name='Dark Langin' post='3841156' date='Aug 18 2011, 03:39 PM']But I hope this explains enough could somebody tell me what the hell is going on with me?[/quote]

It sounds like you are depressed go see a doctor and talk to him/her.
 
machomuu
I doubt you're in love with him. You may be severely attracted to him, may have a crush on him, and may like him a lot, but I doubt it's love.
 
N
[quote name='machomuu' post='3841381' date='Aug 18 2011, 03:09 PM']I doubt you're in love with him. You may be severely attracted to him, may have a crush on him, and may like him a lot, but I doubt it's love.[/quote]

The word you are looking for is infatuation. It can lead to relatively extreme emotional highs and lows. Anybody that has had heavy feelings of infatuation before knows it will pass in due time.

Love is a deep and complex thing that is so easily confused with infatuation, it's a bit odd.
 
nico445
i know the depression. happends to me alot. somewhere out of the blue from being happy being sad and everything. i just focus on other stuff to distract me from that (listening to hardstyle or mixing. or playing some games) you could try that to get atleast a bit more happy. love also is pretty difficult. but just think about it like this : Niet een hand vol maar een land vol :P
 
Hells Malice
[quote name='Nathan Drake' post='3841395' date='Aug 19 2011, 12:13 AM'][quote name='machomuu' post='3841381' date='Aug 18 2011, 03:09 PM']I doubt you're in love with him. You may be severely attracted to him, may have a crush on him, and may like him a lot, but I doubt it's love.[/quote]

The word you are looking for is infatuation. It can lead to relatively extreme emotional highs and lows. Anybody that has had heavy feelings of infatuation before knows it will pass in due time.

Love is a deep and complex thing that is so easily confused with infatuation, it's a bit odd.
[/quote]

It's not that odd. Typically teens have no idea what love actually is, since they basically never get past the infatuation stage of a relationship. So they end up thinking the infatuation IS love, and when they leave that stage of a relationship...bam, they think the love is gone.
It's funny and sad at the same time.


As for a reply to the main post...I got nothin'. Frankly wanting everything to be pink isn't exactly acting girlish. I have a strong attraction to cute things, and had a violently pink, purple and white desktop for like 5 months...and even when I change it, it typically doesn't stray from bright "girlish" colours too often. Suddenly wanting to lose weight isn't girlish at all either. Anyone can suddenly get self-conscious over their weight or appearance in general. It may be that you subconsciously want to look better for the guy you like to get him to notice you.

and before I post this I realize I said "I got nothin' " followed by a bunch of typing.
Brilliant.
 
Langin
Could someone explain what the infatuation stage is? I tried to translate it to my own laguage but yeah that word I don't understand it either. It must mean something else.

Well I know it is love since he is currently the only thing I can think about. normaly I only think of games so this is not normal.

But yeah he said my personality(Woops wrong spelling right?) is more girlish then it was before. He included those examples like pink etc.

But I think some of you are right. I think am depressed. I am going to talk to an old friend(He is doctor lol) later today.

Update: i had a small talk with the guy. He asked me a few things and he said that nearly everyone has these periods. I don't feel worried anymore Well I feel less worried. Then he asked the guy I say i am in love with. he asked all kind of things about him. after I told his age he stoppped asking... ''Age difference in nearly 10 years he said wow'' I forgot to tell he is 24 years old.. well I am 16 and that makes 8 years off difference. It does not sound that much does it?

I think its the fault off myself, I am doing some sort of heavy work and I remember from other jobs(that were less heavy) that they gave me a lot off stress.
 
astrangeone
I think it's normal to be attracted to something in both sexes. I don't think it's love, although. A crush, maybe...

My first homosexual crush was worse. She is my best friend. She basically told me about all her boyfriends, and I got jealous. I just (at the time) recognized why I was jealous - I wanted a chance with her!

I don't think it's abnormal for a guy to like pink. This Western culture is so obsessed with macho men that they forget that those are gender roles. Why are guys supposed to like some things and girls are supposed to like others?

You'd figure it out....:D
 

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