Hey guys and gals, just wanted to share this and get it off my mind.
Lately it's been like I'm very happy when I'm awake because everything's going smooth right now with work, studies and achieving my goals one step at a time. On the flip side of things, when I sleep, I have a lot of recurring dreams. A lot of them I've had many times and its in a cycle. When I'm able to revisit each dream again, the recurring dream somewhat extends and there's this new whole part I have to explore, no matter what.
Only recently I've been having violent dreams. I'm not talking its like I'm beating up random people or that I choose to go "hey let's mess this guy's face up". It's more so I'm thrown in the middle of a decision, fight or die. It's the worst case scenarios.
My dream this morning was about facing another former friend who was constantly a "chameleon" in society. He was annoying and copied people. Generally he had layers of other people's personalities covering his weak vulnerable one. He's a tryhard and wannabe. He attracted trouble and he'd always run to me or the other friend for help. I was forced to friend him because the one I used to trust as a brother pitied him and he asked me at that time to give him a chance even though I said no many times. Oh how I regret those days. Anyways...
Basically the dream was me with a knife. It's in an alleyway. It doesn't have much light in the surroundings. I'm facing this former friend. He's wearing office clothes. He's slowly backing away. There's fear in his eyes, he doesn't understand why I'm approaching him. I can feel this immense anger inside of me. I feel feel the killing intent emitting from myself. I hear these thoughts,
"he's got to pay for what he's done... kill him quick"
and
"I don't want to do this, I'm going to jail for this...".
I lunge and swipe, he naturally steps back to avoid but I don't stop there. I follow up slashing upwards towards his tendon between the forearm and bicep. His arm drops. Taking advantage of this, I grab his opposite arm (as he was going to try to stop the bleeding) and slash his wrist. He staggers. I hook punch his face so it swung to the left of me then I uppercut his chin. Switching the knife into my left I slash his throat and he's bleeding to his death. I look down on him and step over him, walking away into the dark, misty alley.
The dream doesn't stop here.
The dream switches to me sent to a hospital. I think it's a psych ward. It's night time. The hallway is dimly lit as its somewhat (I'm guessing here) after midnight. I'm hauled into a hospital room. I have a briefcase with some of my clothes. The guys drop me off. I'm not locked in for some odd reason. I have the urge to go to the bathroom. I do my thing. I approach the mirror and sink. I look at my face. I've aged. I'm looking middle aged approaching fifty five by the way my white hair is beginning to frost in my hair, eyebrows, and the five o'clock shadow. I splash water to rinse the day off my face.
"mmm ohhmmmm emmmmm"
Something moaned in the hallway. My thoughts at the time,
"F*** me, I'm must be stupid to investigate it but there's nothing else to do".
I quietly walk towards my door, slowly opening to poke my head outside...looking left to right. Lights flicker. I think,
"I must be dumb, my wall is made out of glass that faces the hallway."
I face palm myself. So I walked outside of my room. The moaning was further down right of my room. Something felt heavy in my right chest pocket. It's a L.E.D pocket torch. I click it on. I shine into the next dark room. This room looked like the emergency room with patients lying in their beds. Curtains separating each and every one of them. I see something. It's dark and hanging off a bed. Stupid of me to shine my torch in its face.
It turns... it's dark long hair, its yellow eyes, pale face, the teeth so white, wearing a night gown... it drove fear into me when it screamed. My vision started to blur. I was stumbling backwards.
I don't remember what happens next. Really I don't. This part was something of me climbing a up a tree towards a tree house. This tree broke past the clouds. When I arrived at the top. It was a bachelor pad with an Italian style balcony. I find it funny because all I can remember in this part is me summoning cows in the air and dropping it on the Earth below where cars swerved and some were crushed by it. No idea as this never made sense to me. I'm certain there was dialogue here as there was someone next to me at that moment but it's gone from my mind.
My next vision comes to me is when my scenery is bright. Sunshine and all. I must be getting old as my walking pace is slower than usual. I see a young brunette girl sitting on a bench near the cemetery, under a great tree with leaves golden and brown, falling as the wind gently blew. I'm walking towards her. She smiles and motions me to hurry. I shuffle my old body over to her and sit next to her.
She told me this,
"You did what you had to do, if you haven't freed me, I'll still be stuck there"
(I don't control myself here. I usually have dreams where I am only viewing things.)
I said,
"I wish I hadn't killed him. I just didn't know what to do..."
I can feel this deep well of sadness, drilling a hole in my chest. She gently leads my head to rest on her lap. I feel safe, my tears start rolling halfway down the bridge of my nose then dropping off onto her skirt.
All I can feel is her gentle touch on my head, saying as if everything will be okay.
I can't remember my previous dreams as clearly as these ones. I understand when I have this dreams. I feel very exhausted like I never slept at all. Then I go back to sleep for another two hours and I'm brand new. Weird.
All the other dreams consisted of me finding other former friends who betrayed me from the past. I sometimes don't only kill or beat one at a time. It's sometimes two, three and at most four. You'd expect people to fight back. They don't. Panic and fear gets to them. Even when they try to stop me, they are only trying to stop me and I get them too. That's what happens in my dreams.
Gee I sound like an idiot writing all of this. It's a long blog which I haven't written since my zombie dream haha I hope I wasn't too descriptive
Lately it's been like I'm very happy when I'm awake because everything's going smooth right now with work, studies and achieving my goals one step at a time. On the flip side of things, when I sleep, I have a lot of recurring dreams. A lot of them I've had many times and its in a cycle. When I'm able to revisit each dream again, the recurring dream somewhat extends and there's this new whole part I have to explore, no matter what.
Only recently I've been having violent dreams. I'm not talking its like I'm beating up random people or that I choose to go "hey let's mess this guy's face up". It's more so I'm thrown in the middle of a decision, fight or die. It's the worst case scenarios.
My dream this morning was about facing another former friend who was constantly a "chameleon" in society. He was annoying and copied people. Generally he had layers of other people's personalities covering his weak vulnerable one. He's a tryhard and wannabe. He attracted trouble and he'd always run to me or the other friend for help. I was forced to friend him because the one I used to trust as a brother pitied him and he asked me at that time to give him a chance even though I said no many times. Oh how I regret those days. Anyways...
Basically the dream was me with a knife. It's in an alleyway. It doesn't have much light in the surroundings. I'm facing this former friend. He's wearing office clothes. He's slowly backing away. There's fear in his eyes, he doesn't understand why I'm approaching him. I can feel this immense anger inside of me. I feel feel the killing intent emitting from myself. I hear these thoughts,
"he's got to pay for what he's done... kill him quick"
and
"I don't want to do this, I'm going to jail for this...".
I lunge and swipe, he naturally steps back to avoid but I don't stop there. I follow up slashing upwards towards his tendon between the forearm and bicep. His arm drops. Taking advantage of this, I grab his opposite arm (as he was going to try to stop the bleeding) and slash his wrist. He staggers. I hook punch his face so it swung to the left of me then I uppercut his chin. Switching the knife into my left I slash his throat and he's bleeding to his death. I look down on him and step over him, walking away into the dark, misty alley.
The dream doesn't stop here.
The dream switches to me sent to a hospital. I think it's a psych ward. It's night time. The hallway is dimly lit as its somewhat (I'm guessing here) after midnight. I'm hauled into a hospital room. I have a briefcase with some of my clothes. The guys drop me off. I'm not locked in for some odd reason. I have the urge to go to the bathroom. I do my thing. I approach the mirror and sink. I look at my face. I've aged. I'm looking middle aged approaching fifty five by the way my white hair is beginning to frost in my hair, eyebrows, and the five o'clock shadow. I splash water to rinse the day off my face.
"mmm ohhmmmm emmmmm"
Something moaned in the hallway. My thoughts at the time,
"F*** me, I'm must be stupid to investigate it but there's nothing else to do".
I quietly walk towards my door, slowly opening to poke my head outside...looking left to right. Lights flicker. I think,
"I must be dumb, my wall is made out of glass that faces the hallway."
I face palm myself. So I walked outside of my room. The moaning was further down right of my room. Something felt heavy in my right chest pocket. It's a L.E.D pocket torch. I click it on. I shine into the next dark room. This room looked like the emergency room with patients lying in their beds. Curtains separating each and every one of them. I see something. It's dark and hanging off a bed. Stupid of me to shine my torch in its face.
It turns... it's dark long hair, its yellow eyes, pale face, the teeth so white, wearing a night gown... it drove fear into me when it screamed. My vision started to blur. I was stumbling backwards.
I don't remember what happens next. Really I don't. This part was something of me climbing a up a tree towards a tree house. This tree broke past the clouds. When I arrived at the top. It was a bachelor pad with an Italian style balcony. I find it funny because all I can remember in this part is me summoning cows in the air and dropping it on the Earth below where cars swerved and some were crushed by it. No idea as this never made sense to me. I'm certain there was dialogue here as there was someone next to me at that moment but it's gone from my mind.
My next vision comes to me is when my scenery is bright. Sunshine and all. I must be getting old as my walking pace is slower than usual. I see a young brunette girl sitting on a bench near the cemetery, under a great tree with leaves golden and brown, falling as the wind gently blew. I'm walking towards her. She smiles and motions me to hurry. I shuffle my old body over to her and sit next to her.
She told me this,
"You did what you had to do, if you haven't freed me, I'll still be stuck there"
(I don't control myself here. I usually have dreams where I am only viewing things.)
I said,
"I wish I hadn't killed him. I just didn't know what to do..."
I can feel this deep well of sadness, drilling a hole in my chest. She gently leads my head to rest on her lap. I feel safe, my tears start rolling halfway down the bridge of my nose then dropping off onto her skirt.
All I can feel is her gentle touch on my head, saying as if everything will be okay.
I can't remember my previous dreams as clearly as these ones. I understand when I have this dreams. I feel very exhausted like I never slept at all. Then I go back to sleep for another two hours and I'm brand new. Weird.
All the other dreams consisted of me finding other former friends who betrayed me from the past. I sometimes don't only kill or beat one at a time. It's sometimes two, three and at most four. You'd expect people to fight back. They don't. Panic and fear gets to them. Even when they try to stop me, they are only trying to stop me and I get them too. That's what happens in my dreams.
Gee I sound like an idiot writing all of this. It's a long blog which I haven't written since my zombie dream haha I hope I wasn't too descriptive
