Hi, how are ya, come on in!
You, that tall guy in the back, I know you came in to correct my spelling of "Commander Shepard".
It's not a typo.
I don't see any "Where did Vulpes go?" posts yet, so hopefully this will stave them off.
I thought it only fair to explain why I'm gone for days at a time, now.
Some of you already know I've got a new job and a new title.
Every night I'm tending and mending problems on a local farm, and part of that task is looking after and feeding fifteen sheep.
It wasn't a difficult job. And in the beginning it didn't take up much of my time. But two weeks ago my hours doubled because it's the time of year when we have to milk the sheep.
I'll give you a moment to let that sink in.
No, no I'm not turning on a pump and suction-cupping it to a ewe's nipples, I'm doing the old-fashioned teat-squeezing thing that your great-grandparents did.
We take the milk and make premium soap out of it. Really high-grade stuff if I do say so myself. That's the next thing they want to teach me to do. I made six pounds of soap the other day, but had to have the lady of the farm helping me along every step of the way. Got some diluted lye on my forehead. Had to wash it off before it burned through to my skull. Lots of fun.
Tomorrow my workload doubles again, when I take over the morning duties as well as the evening ones. And since they expect me to take care of all the chickens, all the sheep, the three dogs, the eight cats with nine kittens, keep repairing all the problems on the farm, a good portion of the planting, and perhaps even more: It looks like I'm unofficially being promoted to "farm manager".
I don't yet know what this means for my time on GBAtemp. I haven't yet had the time to adjust to my schedule enough to resume my regular duties here, and they're already changing it again. But this season only lasts four months of the year. Around midsummer I'll be working three hours less per day and should certainly be back at that point.
To answer the most common questions:
I actually love the job. (Even the rams are less temperamental than 'tempers)
Yes there is the distinct possibility that I could blow up the house while making soap. I could also chemical-burn my hands into tendon-clad bones if I really fucked up.
Yes we have some black sheep on the farm, and they're absolutely adorable.
Fun fact: A white sheep has white skin. Same for brown or black. Yes, the black ones jump higher.
Yes, I've had to buy a bottle of k-y lube specifically to service sheep with.......in milking them. .....Buncha fucking pervs.
Yes I've carried lambs like in the bible pictures. Spoiler: they don't like it.
No I do fucking not do the Mike Rowe testicle-biting thing. Nor will I ever. That ain't my job. I did bob a few tails, but that doesn't require testicles on my chin.
We get about 0.7 to 1.2 liters of milk from each of the three milkable sheep, twice a day. (at least 4.2 liters per day, every day, for four months.) It takes 0.7 liters of sheep milk to make 36 bars of soap. The soap sells for $10 per bar. We're not making a fortune, but it's good money for a good product. What makes it a good product? All six varieties we offer are far more gentle than any soap on your local grocer's shelf.
So that's where I am.
I'll get back to work ASAP, but for now I'm needed elsewhere.
You, that tall guy in the back, I know you came in to correct my spelling of "Commander Shepard".
It's not a typo.
I don't see any "Where did Vulpes go?" posts yet, so hopefully this will stave them off.
I thought it only fair to explain why I'm gone for days at a time, now.
Some of you already know I've got a new job and a new title.
Every night I'm tending and mending problems on a local farm, and part of that task is looking after and feeding fifteen sheep.
It wasn't a difficult job. And in the beginning it didn't take up much of my time. But two weeks ago my hours doubled because it's the time of year when we have to milk the sheep.
I'll give you a moment to let that sink in.
No, no I'm not turning on a pump and suction-cupping it to a ewe's nipples, I'm doing the old-fashioned teat-squeezing thing that your great-grandparents did.
We take the milk and make premium soap out of it. Really high-grade stuff if I do say so myself. That's the next thing they want to teach me to do. I made six pounds of soap the other day, but had to have the lady of the farm helping me along every step of the way. Got some diluted lye on my forehead. Had to wash it off before it burned through to my skull. Lots of fun.
Tomorrow my workload doubles again, when I take over the morning duties as well as the evening ones. And since they expect me to take care of all the chickens, all the sheep, the three dogs, the eight cats with nine kittens, keep repairing all the problems on the farm, a good portion of the planting, and perhaps even more: It looks like I'm unofficially being promoted to "farm manager".
I don't yet know what this means for my time on GBAtemp. I haven't yet had the time to adjust to my schedule enough to resume my regular duties here, and they're already changing it again. But this season only lasts four months of the year. Around midsummer I'll be working three hours less per day and should certainly be back at that point.
To answer the most common questions:
I actually love the job. (Even the rams are less temperamental than 'tempers)
Yes there is the distinct possibility that I could blow up the house while making soap. I could also chemical-burn my hands into tendon-clad bones if I really fucked up.
Yes we have some black sheep on the farm, and they're absolutely adorable.
Fun fact: A white sheep has white skin. Same for brown or black. Yes, the black ones jump higher.
Yes, I've had to buy a bottle of k-y lube specifically to service sheep with.......in milking them. .....Buncha fucking pervs.
Yes I've carried lambs like in the bible pictures. Spoiler: they don't like it.
No I do fucking not do the Mike Rowe testicle-biting thing. Nor will I ever. That ain't my job. I did bob a few tails, but that doesn't require testicles on my chin.
We get about 0.7 to 1.2 liters of milk from each of the three milkable sheep, twice a day. (at least 4.2 liters per day, every day, for four months.) It takes 0.7 liters of sheep milk to make 36 bars of soap. The soap sells for $10 per bar. We're not making a fortune, but it's good money for a good product. What makes it a good product? All six varieties we offer are far more gentle than any soap on your local grocer's shelf.
So that's where I am.
I'll get back to work ASAP, but for now I'm needed elsewhere.
