This blog is very late, it’s been like a year since I declared myself to be no longer a filthy commie. To those who are OGs, you might remember me being a hardened Communist, later anarcho-Communist. I was one of the most hardcore spreaders of Communism and most OGs might remember me mixing in Communist symbols on my avatars and signatures. To those who aren’t OGs, I was Commie.
So what the fuck changed? How did someone spend 17 years following a movement, only to now wish it would die in the past with previous Communist movements? Well, it wasn’t just one thing that killed it but it was one event that made me finally snap and realize how stupid I had been for so many years. First, what was killing it for me? The simple answer, I couldn’t defend the practice anymore. Anarcho-Communism makes literally no sense when you try to actually take it apart and answer many of the most basic questions. For example, getting paid makes no fucking sense. Who’s doing the paying? Who’s determining what I am worth? How are they determining if the work is my best? What if I only invest 50% of my energy and pretend that’s the best? Basic questions that I thought I had answers to but the answers eventually started falling apart. If anything, it defaulted to Capitalism with a Commie paint over it.
“But, you’re queer/trans,” I’ve heard in the past. Which I believed was another reason to be a Communist. Capitalism bad, privatization bad, etc. the normal shit you hear when defending why queer people should be Communists. You get everything you need and won’t have to pay for the medical stuff, you hear. Since we are all equals and workers, you won’t face as much discrimination. The logic checked out when you are someone who was raised in unstable conditions and only see the wealthiest grow richer while your life grows worse. And I think these are valid points but Communism isn’t the fix nor is Capitalism. I don’t know how to make things better but I do know Communism is definitely not it. Because instead of feeling these slogans, I felt tokenized. Even with other queer people, I felt like a token. I felt like me being queer was only important as a means of spreading Communism. Being queer meant also overthrowing the oppressors to create a Communist utopia. Anything less and I felt unwelcomed by my peers.
So what killed it for good for me? Hogwarts Legacy. Not the game or even Harry Potter, I don’t care for game or series. It was the protest around the game that caused me to question everything and eventually realize how shit my life has been trying to push Communism. I wasn’t a fan of the protest and I made that clear. I made it clear that harassing people would only make the game successful. I made it clear that my position was that people should encourage piracy instead of prohibition. Yeah, that didn’t turn out so well. My Twitter was mass reported, I was getting threats, and I was losing members from my community super fast. What went from over 200 members in my discord to less than 120 very quickly. I didn’t even suggest supporting the game, just don’t harass people and encourage piracy, two positions I’ve held openly long before this game and still do now. I thought my friends would be safe, but instead, they were pissed that I wasn’t joining the circlejerk and repeating the same 5 talking points. I was called a “Nazi,” a “traitor,” and so much more, just for suggesting piracy with very little else to say. I watched as friends I’ve known for years just closed me off because I wasn’t repeating the same shit. I couldn’t believe that all of the Commies I knew would just throw me aside so easily. I was shocked that my community was so willing to throw me at the bus just for not repeating the talking points. I didn’t even want to open my social media because I was getting shit from there. Once people had found out I prefer to identify as a trap, that only made what used to be a nonissue into “proof” that I was a nazi and crypto-fascist. I was treated like absolute garbage for literally not thinking with the Commie hivemind. All of this, over one suggestion that wasn’t just repeating the same talking points.
After all of that, my faith was crushed as I was trying to write a script for a video. I realized I was dreading including Commie talking points. Then I snapped and realized Communism was doing more harm than good. I was constantly losing trying to spread Communism. I realized I didn’t have friends as a Commie, just temporary allies. I wasn’t going to be making content I wanted to watch, I was going to make content to spread Communism. I realized just how stupid I had been for so many years. I called my wife and declared I wasn’t a Communist that day.
What am I now? No idea. I know I don’t like Communism, Capitalism is still pretty awful, and I hate Anarcho-Communism the most. I guess I am drifting somewhere in the Left but even that feels unwelcoming. I’ve just grown to hate the Government, Authoritarians, and anyone trying to control me. I don’t really care to put a name to this outside of just plain Anarchist. That said, I shall leave the immortal words of Tanya von Degurechaff
Miko pic!
So what the fuck changed? How did someone spend 17 years following a movement, only to now wish it would die in the past with previous Communist movements? Well, it wasn’t just one thing that killed it but it was one event that made me finally snap and realize how stupid I had been for so many years. First, what was killing it for me? The simple answer, I couldn’t defend the practice anymore. Anarcho-Communism makes literally no sense when you try to actually take it apart and answer many of the most basic questions. For example, getting paid makes no fucking sense. Who’s doing the paying? Who’s determining what I am worth? How are they determining if the work is my best? What if I only invest 50% of my energy and pretend that’s the best? Basic questions that I thought I had answers to but the answers eventually started falling apart. If anything, it defaulted to Capitalism with a Commie paint over it.
“But, you’re queer/trans,” I’ve heard in the past. Which I believed was another reason to be a Communist. Capitalism bad, privatization bad, etc. the normal shit you hear when defending why queer people should be Communists. You get everything you need and won’t have to pay for the medical stuff, you hear. Since we are all equals and workers, you won’t face as much discrimination. The logic checked out when you are someone who was raised in unstable conditions and only see the wealthiest grow richer while your life grows worse. And I think these are valid points but Communism isn’t the fix nor is Capitalism. I don’t know how to make things better but I do know Communism is definitely not it. Because instead of feeling these slogans, I felt tokenized. Even with other queer people, I felt like a token. I felt like me being queer was only important as a means of spreading Communism. Being queer meant also overthrowing the oppressors to create a Communist utopia. Anything less and I felt unwelcomed by my peers.
So what killed it for good for me? Hogwarts Legacy. Not the game or even Harry Potter, I don’t care for game or series. It was the protest around the game that caused me to question everything and eventually realize how shit my life has been trying to push Communism. I wasn’t a fan of the protest and I made that clear. I made it clear that harassing people would only make the game successful. I made it clear that my position was that people should encourage piracy instead of prohibition. Yeah, that didn’t turn out so well. My Twitter was mass reported, I was getting threats, and I was losing members from my community super fast. What went from over 200 members in my discord to less than 120 very quickly. I didn’t even suggest supporting the game, just don’t harass people and encourage piracy, two positions I’ve held openly long before this game and still do now. I thought my friends would be safe, but instead, they were pissed that I wasn’t joining the circlejerk and repeating the same 5 talking points. I was called a “Nazi,” a “traitor,” and so much more, just for suggesting piracy with very little else to say. I watched as friends I’ve known for years just closed me off because I wasn’t repeating the same shit. I couldn’t believe that all of the Commies I knew would just throw me aside so easily. I was shocked that my community was so willing to throw me at the bus just for not repeating the talking points. I didn’t even want to open my social media because I was getting shit from there. Once people had found out I prefer to identify as a trap, that only made what used to be a nonissue into “proof” that I was a nazi and crypto-fascist. I was treated like absolute garbage for literally not thinking with the Commie hivemind. All of this, over one suggestion that wasn’t just repeating the same talking points.
After all of that, my faith was crushed as I was trying to write a script for a video. I realized I was dreading including Commie talking points. Then I snapped and realized Communism was doing more harm than good. I was constantly losing trying to spread Communism. I realized I didn’t have friends as a Commie, just temporary allies. I wasn’t going to be making content I wanted to watch, I was going to make content to spread Communism. I realized just how stupid I had been for so many years. I called my wife and declared I wasn’t a Communist that day.
What am I now? No idea. I know I don’t like Communism, Capitalism is still pretty awful, and I hate Anarcho-Communism the most. I guess I am drifting somewhere in the Left but even that feels unwelcoming. I’ve just grown to hate the Government, Authoritarians, and anyone trying to control me. I don’t really care to put a name to this outside of just plain Anarchist. That said, I shall leave the immortal words of Tanya von Degurechaff
Miko pic!
