GET TO KNOW: Jonathan Quentin Arbuckle

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"don't call me doc boy!"

I want lasaga.

"To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Garfield. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of warm lasaga most of the jokes will go over a typical reader’s head. There’s also Garfield’s narcissistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from vain people, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Garfield truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Garfields’s existential catchphrase “I hate alram clocks,” which itself is a cryptic reference to the concept of time. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Jim Davis’s genius wit unfolds itself on their newspapers. What fools.. how I pity them.

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Garfield tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid "

-Me, 2017