2 years wasted.

*Warning* Contains stuff that you probably don't care about.
With that out of the way, I shall talk about my past two years, and why they were a waste of time.
(Relationship-wise)
Here's the dealio.
So on the 4th of July two years ago my girlfriend dumped me.
Wutever.
Wasn't terribly hard to get over after too long.
(I get over things somewhat easily, which isn't a bad thing in a lot of cases)
Shortly after I got over her I decided to wanna go after my old ex
(Who was my most recent ex's best friend before we went out... It's a long story)
The girl hated me for a while.
But we hung out.
I'm sure I asked her out at least once before the year was up.
She said she wasn't ready for a relationship.
Wutever.
All of last year I tried to get with her.
A good amount of last year we were friends with benefits.
Then came Halloween.
So I go to her haunted house (She's part of a church group or some shit that put on a thing)
I meet a guy who points out a guy (I didn't catch him, he pointed him out as he was walking into a different room)
Says this guy and the girl I've been trying to be in a relationship with have a thing.
A thing?
I get the guy's number.
Act like I didn't hear a thing to the girl.
Text the guy till like 3am.
Apparently they do have a thing.
For the next few weeks we conspire together (Apparently the dude who I met at first kissed her or somethin too)
Eventually we say some stuff to her through the power of technology.
(We never even met up or anything, and we all texted her or somethin, I hardly remember)
She cried.
We felt accomplished.
She hated us?
She liked me again?
We were friends with benefits again.
(I believe I've covered this part in previous blogs)
So I tell her I love her.
Wutever, it's fine, nothing weird, I honestly believed I did
(Maybe because I'm an idiot)
So in January I decide I don't love her anymore
(I did a kinda test where I didn't talk to her and see if she actually liked me/wanted to talk to me)
(It lasted 2 weeks)
(Never even a facebook "like" of a status)
She decided she hated me.
We started talking again in mid April or so.
Relatively recently I learned that in that time she had sex with some guy.
Actually, today I learned it was the guy from before (Halloween)
What did I do?
Nothing.
I didn't say anything.
I lost sleep over it for about a month.
But I didn't say much.
I was pissed off more than I've ever been,
But I didn't wanna show that.
We went to prom in May.
We kissed.
After 5 or so months of not seeing her.
I thought all was good.
She wasn't in to anyone else.
Does she wanna go out with me?
Ha!
That's funny.
A week ago I had a graduation party.
We kissed.
Apparently she kissed a kid too.
(I'm older than her, she kissed a guy like 2.5 years younger)
What did I do?
Nothing?
Actually, I kinda was a dick to her and the guy.
I think the next day we hang.
Nothing happens, we just go on a bike ride.
Talk.
A hug at her door.
Fuck.
Today I hang.
Not expecting anything.
Her and the guy have been going out
(Probably since my party)
The fuck?
How is this fair?
What am I going through all of this for?
Who is this girl to go do shit with a bunch of guys, decide not to go out with me, then go out with some little fucking kid she just met?
Fuck this shit!
Now she wants me to set her up with this guy because he's afraid of her and gonna break up with her!
I'm saying no.
She's saying she hates me!
She wants me to still be into her when I'm two and a fucking half hours away at college!
Does she wanna go out with me though?
HA!
This is why I'm going away to college.
Cuz I'll just keep torturing myself like this.
I need it to be August 18th right now.

tl;dr
I'm fucking sick of trying to go out with a girl that obviously has no interest in me but keeps me on a string chocking my fucking neck.
But I can't fucking untie the knot
(Ya know... knot that's used to tie the string that's around my neck...)
I don't suck at making analogies...
Or wutever those are.

God, sorry for wasting your time guys, I needed it in writing or something to see how big of an idiot I've been.
Though it's been pretty nice being just friends this past week.
We've been talking about stuff.
She kinda hates the topics I pick (Religion, the supernatural and how it's bullshit)
I kinda argue about it for the sake of arguing.
Heh, don't you love how my anger is obviously growing as the typing goes on.
A few f words here and there ensure you know I've been getting progressively angrier.
So that's it.
No more me liking her I suppose.
And that's probably a bad thing for her.
Even though we weren't going out, the instant I tell her we should just be friends without the pressure of me liking you she'll flip.
But that's probably a lie.
I'll be an idiot once again and like her again.
But that's why I need August 18th to get here fast.
It's the day I move into my dorm.
To freedom on that day :grog:
Hey, do you think I should show her this?
She complains I don't tell her what I'm feeling enough.

Again, sorry.
Peace!

Comments

O
Sounds vaguely like some personal experience I've had. So I hear ya bro.

Well, it's difficult when people tell move on/stay away. It's the most logical thing to do, and we're rational people right? But maybe we are just too patient, or too dazed by that person, to try and make a change. Even though sometimes we even tell ourselves that we're being idiots... we do it anyway.

Well what am i getting at. I think your situation is actually a bit different. She clearly doesn't want you as an exclusive partner, and I think that's what you really need, right?

What can you do... well, you can stay friends with her, but I think that just continues your cycle of emotional trauma. The only way you can stay friends with her is if you can change the way you feel about her.

The best way to detach yourself from someone imo, is to find someone else to love/attach to. Try and seduce some girls (sweet talk em and all that crap), go out to partys/clubs and shit if u can. If you find another girl who likes you back.. I think that can heal you man.

If indeed she's complaining that you're not being open with your feelings, I think you should show her this. Worst thing that can happen is she gets pissed, but man, who cares a fuck.

Maybe this has inspired me to write about my recent girl problems. I'm gonna play some Tupac to get me goin'.

Good luck temper!
 
Blaze163
Best way to get rid of people like this is to be seen by them, walking around with someone much more attractive. That's how I dealt the deathblow to my ex's campaign of 'if she cant have me nobody can'. She bumped into me in town and was giving me a tonne of hassle until my best friend Amelia showed up, pretended that not only are we together but she's pregnant with my kid. That shut the ex up in short order. We were kicking ourselves that it took four years to shift the daft bitch and we never even thought of this.

TLDR, if you're sick of this one person who from what I gather isn't worth concerning yourself with, go get yourself someone pretty and sweet who won't treat you like shit, and if the problematic one gives you any hassle just make your new relationship obvious and stand up to her. Trust me, get a pre-emptive strike in there before she goes all psycho hose beast obsessive and spends four years trying to ruin you.
 
Phoenix Goddess
The best thing you can do is stay away from her. Lose all contact with her every way you can. On social websites, block her. Phone number, erase. If she ever comes over, tell someone to say you're not home or don't answer the door. But the more you give her chances, the more you'll end up hurt. In my opinion, she was just using you, she tagged along for the ride and she obviously seems to BE the ride and offer it up to other guys. I wouldn't give her any attention whatsoever because it's what she wants. Let her hate you, so what, who's losing sleep at night? She is, don't let yourself be hurt by someone who isn't worth the time or day. Ask yourself, if she liked/loved you, would she really deliberately put you through all of this pain? If she were in your shoes, would she want to be led on? Would she want to see you with other women? No, she wouldn't, cause she's not that type of girl.

if you get rid of her, be happy, it saves you a lot of hassle.
 
George Dawes
[quote name='OSW' post='2944671' date='Jun 27 2010, 10:41 AM']The best way to detach yourself from someone imo, is to find someone else to love/attach to.[/quote]
Worst.advice.EVER.

"rebound" relationshits are the worst way to deal with your emotions. Go out with friends, have fun, if you get a bit then fair enough but don't try to fall in love just to get over someone.

Learn to love yourself before trying to get into someone else.


The girl doesn't seem to have done anything wrong here - you were seeing each other casual/friends with benefits. She was seeing other people casually too. You fell in love and she didn't. It is a fact of life, move on.
 
DjoeN
comment:

You didn't do enough effort! it's your own fault.
Kinda had the same thing going on, in the end (after years) i asked her what i did wrong to her, then she told me, i didn't do enough effort to tell her how i really felt towards her, She moved on at that time, i didn't (after all i did moved on, i met a girl, have 3 kids, bought a house and 2 cars and i'm happy! :) )

She on the other hand now, well a few broken relationships, no kids and no guy atm,renting an appartment, owning a little car, Dunno if she's happy, but i really don't care :D
 
O
[quote name='George Dawes' post='2944717' date='Jun 27 2010, 09:29 PM'][quote name='OSW' post='2944671' date='Jun 27 2010, 10:41 AM']The best way to detach yourself from someone imo, is to find someone else to love/attach to.[/quote]
Worst.advice.EVER.
[/quote]

lol, to clarify, I just mean to give the field a try, not trying to force anything! and hopefully something comes of it.
But obviously I'm not an expert anyway, so I am humbled...
 
Phoenix Goddess
[quote name='OSW' post='2944732' date='Jun 27 2010, 06:47 AM'][quote name='George Dawes' post='2944717' date='Jun 27 2010, 09:29 PM'][quote name='OSW' post='2944671' date='Jun 27 2010, 10:41 AM']The best way to detach yourself from someone imo, is to find someone else to love/attach to.[/quote]
Worst.advice.EVER.
[/quote]

lol, to clarify, I just mean to give the field a try, not trying to force anything! and hopefully something comes of it.
But obviously I'm not an expert anyway, so I am humbled...
[/quote]

Ah, the ol' rebound routine, haha, have to say, I've been on both sides of the fence on that subject. I very much hate being rebound and not knowing I was a rebound until I ask too many questions(which isn't bad) but at the same time, I could never do that to someone, I couldn't willingly use someone's emotions and body for my own benefit. The way I detach myself from someone is to involve myself with the things I love doing. Play video games, hang out here on GBATemp, go drink with some friends(even though I'm underage by a month) or just have some "me" time. Time to heal and figure out what I want and need, see the lesson/bright side behind the entire ordeal, then move on.
 
bnwchbammer
[quote name='DjoeN' post='2944729' date='Jun 27 2010, 06:46 AM']You didn't do enough effort! it's your own fault.[/quote]
Bull shit.
Heh, sorry, but there's nothing more I could have done.
I've made sure of that.

[quote name='phoenixgoddess27' post='2944750' date='Jun 27 2010, 07:01 AM'][quote name='OSW' post='2944732' date='Jun 27 2010, 06:47 AM'][quote name='George Dawes' post='2944717' date='Jun 27 2010, 09:29 PM'][quote name='OSW' post='2944671' date='Jun 27 2010, 10:41 AM']The best way to detach yourself from someone imo, is to find someone else to love/attach to.[/quote]
Worst.advice.EVER.
[/quote]

lol, to clarify, I just mean to give the field a try, not trying to force anything! and hopefully something comes of it.
But obviously I'm not an expert anyway, so I am humbled...
[/quote]

Ah, the ol' rebound routine, haha, have to say, I've been on both sides of the fence on that subject. I very much hate being rebound and not knowing I was a rebound until I ask too many questions(which isn't bad) but at the same time, I could never do that to someone, I couldn't willingly use someone's emotions and body for my own benefit. The way I detach myself from someone is to involve myself with the things I love doing. Play video games, hang out here on GBATemp, go drink with some friends(even though I'm underage by a month) or just have some "me" time. Time to heal and figure out what I want and need, see the lesson/bright side behind the entire ordeal, then move on.
[/quote]
The thing is, I get over stuff quickly.
So, I'm assuming if I can find someone else in college (which I will be going away to so I won't see this girl now) I'll easily get over this girl.
We'll see, I mean, I guess I'll meet new people first then make the transition to possibly dating someone else.

Also, more problems.
Apparently she just wants me to still love her.
It's that she doesn't want me with another girl... but she doesn't want me with her either.
How is this at all logical?
Then again, I've tried arguing using logic... hardly works.

Thanks for the advice peeps, I'll keep you updated I suppose.
 
Phoenix Goddess
If she's gonna be passive aggressive and be too stubborn to let you go so you can be happy, then let her. It sounds like she just wants to control you or assumes she does have control over you. It isn't logic, because it's a very stupid thing to do and usually fires back at the person being selfish. That's pretty much what she is, selfish.

Meet some new girls in college, but don't throw yourself at them, don't do things you'll only regret later.

As for you not putting in much effort... that's the dumbest thing I've heard today, and I hear a lot of dumb things. Obviously, if you keep giving her chance after chance, you're putting in more effort than you really should have.

My advice is to ignore the toxins of life, get rid of it and cleanse yourself of her. No more moping, young man! haha

Keep us posted, good luck :)
 
Delta517
Sounds like shes just using you, but what do I know? :unsure:

Anyways, try to get over her, hangout with other friends and have a great time! You arent supposed to look forward to school, lol. :P
 
monkat
Best advice ever: Just stop caring.

First off, chicks dig that as long as you don't send them away [just thought I'd share that tidbit]. Secondly, you'll experience a lot less emotional stress like that - you just graduated high school and are going to go to college soon - if you have to support yourself like I do, you don't have the time or resources to worry about that stuff right now; if it comes, great - if not, that's cool too.

You didn't waste 2 years of your life - you were just single-ish for 2 years - that's nothing to complain about - I was single until I was almost 18 years old - I have now been in an amazing relationship for almost 2 years. Although our evolutionary schematics tell us that relationships, and therein sex, is the purpose of life, I'm sure you accomplished many things, and it's important to realize that you didn't waste 2 years of your life, just had some relationship issues, in order to ward off depression.

If she says she wants you to love her, it's either what phoenixgoddess27 says, that she's trying to control you, or much more likely (and less cynically), she wants to feel loved due to some emotional stress of her own, without needing to latch on to any commitment. In a little bit, she'll realize that her emotions don't matter as much as...well, anything in this world, so she'll mature. Give it a few years, and allow her to be comfortable, without showering her with attention.
 

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