10) Twilight inspires a lot of Twitards as well. Did I menction that half of these "Twitards" are older than I am? ...because they are...oh, and by the way, I was a Narutard before and it's just as painful for the others...(I suppose it's karma for putting my friends through the non-stop anime talk...)
9) It's not "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob". Stop obsessing over those two emo twits. Seriously - both of the characters whine like they both self-inflict injuries (eg. cutters) to relieve pain, and they are
8) EDWARD IS A STALKER. It is so NOT kosher when your "boyfriend" watches you sleep all night in lieu of actually going to bed/torpor.
7) Bella is an empty shell of a character. She is the permanent Mary Sue of Mary Sues. Most Twitards read this, and wear Bella like a pair of new skinny jeans.
6) The writing is horribly paced. It takes about 20 pages of description to get going - you have the setting, why Bella is so emo, and how beautiful Edward is. Charles Dickens uses less words to get started than Stephanie Meyers did!
5) There's nothing new about vampires in this book. Vegan/animal blood drinking vampires? Check the old White Wolf Vampyres tabletop game. Vampires not being killed by sunlight? Check Blade and his daywalkers. Nothing new, except for the "now with 25% more emo" vampires.
4) Bella is an impossible twit. She has no wishes to do anything except to be with Edward, and she manipulates everyone into doing her dirty work for her. I'm not a raging feminist, but isn't that a bit low, even for a character like her? She pretends to want a relationship with the werewolf, Jacob, and then she becomes the fulcrum in using both of them. (This is the ultimate wet dream for most of the Twitards I know...having two guys fighting over a single girl!)
3) Biology fail! Vampires cannot have kids! They are technically dead, there is NOT CELL REPRODUCTION - so therefore, Edward should NOT have sperm cells to knock up Bella. Oh my lord....at least Stephanie Meyer could have wrote that Bella got pregnant as a human instead of a vampire - but no, she had to have Bella's womb blackened and atrophied before Edward could insert tab a into slot b.
2) Bella's special vampire power? A fucking force field. I think she needed it to block off the snarky emo twit Edward. You know, when they described her powers - I pictured her with a power ring, a la Green Lantern. Why do the females in this series get really bad powers? (One of the Cullens has the power to inflict pain or something...it's always something lame with the females in vampire books.)
1) The vampire council in this book is almost powerless. Why? It would have been more interesting to see the power thrown around by ancient vampires, especially when they were dealing with the emo twits of the Cullen family. Seriously.
** I read up to the second book, and then almost threw the book into the air, and it was a fucking .pdf file!
*** This rant sponsored by the fact that I had to carve a rubber stamp of the Twilight cover - the apple held in pale hands. Ugh.
...I love Buffy the vampire slayer. All the characters had workable personalities (except for Willow, when they first started - she was a stereotype...the nerd, the wallflower..). The characters in Twilight are all cartoons - 1 sided people...
9) It's not "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob". Stop obsessing over those two emo twits. Seriously - both of the characters whine like they both self-inflict injuries (eg. cutters) to relieve pain, and they are
8) EDWARD IS A STALKER. It is so NOT kosher when your "boyfriend" watches you sleep all night in lieu of actually going to bed/torpor.
7) Bella is an empty shell of a character. She is the permanent Mary Sue of Mary Sues. Most Twitards read this, and wear Bella like a pair of new skinny jeans.
6) The writing is horribly paced. It takes about 20 pages of description to get going - you have the setting, why Bella is so emo, and how beautiful Edward is. Charles Dickens uses less words to get started than Stephanie Meyers did!
5) There's nothing new about vampires in this book. Vegan/animal blood drinking vampires? Check the old White Wolf Vampyres tabletop game. Vampires not being killed by sunlight? Check Blade and his daywalkers. Nothing new, except for the "now with 25% more emo" vampires.
4) Bella is an impossible twit. She has no wishes to do anything except to be with Edward, and she manipulates everyone into doing her dirty work for her. I'm not a raging feminist, but isn't that a bit low, even for a character like her? She pretends to want a relationship with the werewolf, Jacob, and then she becomes the fulcrum in using both of them. (This is the ultimate wet dream for most of the Twitards I know...having two guys fighting over a single girl!)
3) Biology fail! Vampires cannot have kids! They are technically dead, there is NOT CELL REPRODUCTION - so therefore, Edward should NOT have sperm cells to knock up Bella. Oh my lord....at least Stephanie Meyer could have wrote that Bella got pregnant as a human instead of a vampire - but no, she had to have Bella's womb blackened and atrophied before Edward could insert tab a into slot b.
2) Bella's special vampire power? A fucking force field. I think she needed it to block off the snarky emo twit Edward. You know, when they described her powers - I pictured her with a power ring, a la Green Lantern. Why do the females in this series get really bad powers? (One of the Cullens has the power to inflict pain or something...it's always something lame with the females in vampire books.)
1) The vampire council in this book is almost powerless. Why? It would have been more interesting to see the power thrown around by ancient vampires, especially when they were dealing with the emo twits of the Cullen family. Seriously.
** I read up to the second book, and then almost threw the book into the air, and it was a fucking .pdf file!
*** This rant sponsored by the fact that I had to carve a rubber stamp of the Twilight cover - the apple held in pale hands. Ugh.
...I love Buffy the vampire slayer. All the characters had workable personalities (except for Willow, when they first started - she was a stereotype...the nerd, the wallflower..). The characters in Twilight are all cartoons - 1 sided people...
