Youkai's Blog
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    Youkai Hi people,
    I am currently a little bit unsure of what to think, my Dad is chain smoker and alcohol addict and can't even leave his flat anymore as he can hardly move ... as bad as it is everything seems "okay".
    Even though I moved back closer to his place (~15km) I still need to work most of the day and don't have a car so I can not and actually even don't want to go there very often (he wasn't allways really nice thanks to beeing an alcoholic) so I am rather Happy that my Uncle does pretty much everything for him but that seems to become a problem as my Uncle has access to every bank account and everything.

    As far as I know he didn't took aynthing withouth ma dad knowing BUT he already got my fathers Car (for free) and he asked for 3000€ (or was it 5k?) for a Motorbike which he got (first it was only lend then my father was like "he is the only one helping me so he doesn't have to pay it back) and now we asked my father about his e-bike because he is not using it ... he said we could have it then we asked my uncle who has it right now and he told us he has no time so we can not get it .... 2 weeks later he told me my dad offered it to him which he accepted well knowing that we asked for it first (I guess he probably talked my dad into giving it to him ....)

    So he got a used Car probably worth at least 1000€ maybe more as it was freshly trough all checkups then he got a new? motorbike for 3000€/5000€ and now the ebike that was bought for 3000€

    I don't really care that much about money and I am happy that he is helping my dad but this is getting fishy and my girlfriend also said that even though she also is happy about his help, he seems to use the situation very well in his own favour

    I am thinking of asking my dad to make a proper will as I am a little bit scared that everything will be gone sooner or later and I won't be able to prove if it was a loan or a present for helping, plus my dad seems to be easily manipulated
    MicmasH_W and Uiaad like this.
    Youkai Hey ppl,
    Just found a dead cat on my way to work .... I was riding my bike as allways and saw something black next to the street ... upon crossing that black thing I noticed it was a Cat and I was rather "shocke", not that it was looking disturbing or anything (looked pretty much in one piece) but I have two cats myself and seeing that cat there made me really sad.

    Before I could think again I was already gone a few meter and was thinking if I should go back and look if it is really dead or if it could be rescued.
    somehow I made me think "there is no way it is still alive and I need to go to work".

    Now I am really sad and angry with myself that I didn't look especially as I can imagine how hard it must be for the Cats family especially if it could have been rescued :(

    I will go check it on my way back in 6 hours ... I really hope the cat is either really dead or only sleeping so that it didn't have to fight for its life while I just crossed it withouth helping ;(
    Youkai Hi ppl, I am thinking of calling the court to make them incapacitate my dad ... but I am not really sure if this is a good choice or not :/

    If I won't do it he will probably kill himself sooner or later and I can not help.
    I life ~200km away and don't have a car.
    He didn't wash any clothes for several month, he didn't take any shower for at least a month and probably longer !
    He is not eating anymore and can't even stand up some time, a few days ago he just collapsed -.-

    I guess it is because he is alcohol addicted plus he has depressions and social phobia which makes him afraid of going to a doctor ...

    Currently my uncle visits him every few days and helps him with most stuff but it can not go on like this. I have other stuff I worry about as well so I can not babysit my dad and always worry.

    I called some social workers who will visit him next Tuesday but I doubt they can help him if he doesn't properly cooperate.

    Next step would be incapacitate him and send him into closed psychiatry ... I just doubt he will be happy if I would do so.
    And I already don't really have a mother anymore as she prefers her 18 years old boyfriend who was already in prison and is drug addicted and tried to kill her and is on.

    My family is perfect for some of.these stupid midday trash TV series :/
    At least I am still kind of normal.
    Youkai Not sure if this is how you would describe it in English but maybe you still get what I am going to.
    I often have the Problem that even though I am not stupid and even though I am not bad at the Sport I am doing, I often have some kind of blockade that won't let me give it all or just won't let me accept myself that I am not that bad ;)

    After learning Metal Miller and completing the Aprenticeship with very good grades and skills noone else in my class and company had I was still allways wary and thought that I am no good and got scared to do mistakes,
    Now again I changed to IT and my Teacher who was a Psychologist before told me he noticed that I seem to be scared of doing mistakes even though I seem to know a lot.
    But I guess most of it is Subconsciously ...

    Same with Sports, I am not that bad and currently I win my games but no matter how good or bad the opponent is I am allways playing until the last set (I play Table Tennis) and only win very close in the last set usually no matter what. Even lost some sets that were kind of impossible to lose only to get into the final set .... and I really don't do that on purpose.

    So all together I feel like there is some kind of blockade within me that takes me down somehow with a lot of things I do.
    Youkai After 14 hours in airplanes and ~7 hours in Airports I arrived in Japan 3 days ago ^^
    Already walked around Ikebukuro where i stay a few Times and still allways get Lost XD

    Because I am to stupid for the trains here (especially in Ikebukuro) I walked to Akihabara yesterday took me about 3 hours and many asking japanese for Direktion until i finaly arrived. Akihabara is sooo awesome really worth it.

    Today I went to University ^^ they Even tried to recruit me ;)

    Now i am so done for walked about 14 hours the Last two days and hardly ate ... Just slept the whole midday and am still so worn Down :(

    P.S. Anyone from around Ikebukuro here ?
    Youkai Man why is it so boring all the time oO

    Even at this age where we already have PC's there is still no real entertainment ...

    I have more and more games and videos and whatever, still its getting harder and harder to not die out of boredom :(

    yesterday at least I was walkin trough town getting me new shoes which helped a little against the boredom but i can't go shopping everyday right ? and it was only "fun" cuz there was a friend with me, sadly most of my friends hardly ever leave their house ... (most of them do not even go to work -.-V)
    i think except those guys that are allways drunken or violent/stuid/whatever there is hardly anyone socialising much any more. (even thaught i was totaly surprised seeing so many people yesterday in town oO) (i am one of those guys that hardly leave their hous as well)

    now i even have 2 weeks off of work ...

    what are u guys doing in times like this ?
    Youkai ... to the room 5 meters away XD

    Well my neighbours allways tend to turn the music volume very high at 10pm (hearing some .... heavy metal) when i normaly try to sleep cuz i have to wake up at ~4am,
    so i changed my room some time ago from my kids room to our "garbage" room (well my dad and i just throw everything we do not need anymore that is still not bad enough for garbage into this room)
    and my dad was totaly pissed that he had no more room for garbage and old clothes and such :P

    now i finaly got "all" my important stuff into this room and threw some junk out here ...

    Hope a friend can help me in the next weeks to crush some old furniture here in this room so that i have more than a few centimeters left to move XD

    "people do much for their sleep!"

    P.S. a few days ago in TV they said actually more than 50% of all guys moving out don't move further than 5km away from their mom XD
    while most girls try to "run" as far away from their moms as possible ^^
    Youkai Man I am completely pissed now -.-V

    I am just a trainee so I more or less cannot complain and just do as they tell me but sometimes ....

    the normal workers get ~22€ each hour while i get only 3€ and they still planned me in full time and are allways like "you are 2 minutes to slow !" and such.
    yesterday one of the coworkers who is allways complaining sayed that what we were doing yesterday needs to be completed as fast as possible while i told him it takes ~16 hours than he was making a fuss again,
    now i run the machine till 1 minute before work was over so i had no time to clean everything and again this morning he was annying me to hell that this can't go on like this -.-V

    There are like 30 machines in the factory and ony the 3 machines we are working on are "clean" every other machine is already colored black because of all the dust so why the hell is this guy so freaking obsessed with cleaning the machine :(

    now there was some "very importand" work that has to be done as fast as possible so i just took half a day off ^^
    if this goes on like this i will fill a complaint ...

    sometimes it really sucks to have annoying people who think they are the boss as co-worker
    Youkai doh ...

    I ordered my 3Ds last week and I finaly got a Mail from the seller stating that it was send.
    Just looked into the code that was inside the mail which shows where my package is and say what ? its already delivered oO

    Some neighbour acepted it and i even know who BUT they are not at home -.-V since 3 hours I run down every few miutes waiting for someone to arrive :(


    Hope they did not accept my package and thaught some secs later "well lets get a las minute flight to somewhere and make some month holliday" ....
    Youkai yay its all white here ^^

    hope it will be like this or even better at christmas :)


    P.S. these pics are from ~3pm ..
    Youkai Well i have a very good friend who has no work since ~2 years and now in the company where I work there are two jobs and hardly anyone who wants the job even thaught its a rather nice job with good payment.

    Now my friend says he badly wants the job and I already annoyed several higher ups and they sayed they would give him a chance ... now he wrote a application which sucked bad ass with extremely bad grammar and so on and they sayed they normaly can not take someone like this but because of me they are thinking it over again.
    I told my friend he should make another letter of application and go to the one responsible for hireing ppl and giving her (yes her) a the new better version and say sorry for the bad one.
    Now i tried all to help him make it better but he is allways like "its to late I am tired and can not work on the application right now" and "my girlfriend is visiting I have no time" and so on.

    I already told him I would not help him any more, but he still is my best friend even thaught i am extremely pissed cuz I do look bad at work because of him.
    What would you guys do ? abondon your best friend or taking the risk that your higher ups would think bad of you ?

    I already even told him I would not mind if he has no interest in working cuz I can understand that its easyer to life on your parents pocket and doing nothing the whole day but still he at least pretends to want the job
    Youkai man and again i was missunderstood and everyone was angry with me -.-V

    how come its so hard to understand "if it would not have been like it was" ...
    i sayed to a game that if it would have not as close as it was i would have asked how much money there was involved ..... now everyone is
    saying i suck bad for assuming any cheating while i actually never sayed that.

    than i even already sayed sorry and still today others come and say i am an idiot and should say sorry a second time ! this is just bullshit !
    well i do not want to get problems with the others but i will definietly not give in a second time.

    found a nice sentence to this,

    if the word if would not be, my father would be millionair.