Love is Barbed WireMar 17, 2015
I know, I know, the title is way too fucking emo. Well, this post probably will seem like that too.
Bear with me as I try to work out a difficult problem.
You know, the term "misogynist" gets thrown around out there a lot, often quite undeservedly. I know it's undeserved for one simple reason.
I genuinely despise women.
I know that seems like some stupid blanket statement, but I am well aware that not all women can even possibly fit the material of what I hate about them. I'm sure there's a great female out there with a great personality, but I've personally never met one.
I'm perfectly aware that what I'm experiencing is on an anecdotal level, and in some aspects, I am unsatisfied with this opinion on females, as it's woefully underinformed. But I just can't deny my feelings, as much as I wish I could keep them in tune with my logic.
Truth is, I've never met a female in my entire life who was nice or sweet or kind. My mother talked shit about my Dad every single day I lived with her. Not even once did she ever have anything nice to say about him. I've never once heard "I love you" come out of her mouth. All she ever does is start shit with him. I know that seems rather generalized, but I'm quite serious here. I have *very* carefully combed my memories for even one single hint of good will or anything like that expressed from my Mom to my Dad.
My niece, who is a lot more like my little sister, shoves her boyfriend around constantly. Both my Dad and my nephew-in-law cower every time, to my Mom and niece respectively. They like saying the same stupid shit that everyone says on television and jokes about in bars. "She sure put me in the doghouse! Huhuhuhuhuh!" Worst part is that when the females start shit, the *guys* end up sleeping on the couch! What's with the preferential treatment?
Anyway, I somehow can't imagine my life with a female being any better. Maybe it's because I've been isolated most of my life and I've only seen women act like parasites to otherwise decent, respectable guys. That's why I often think, "My life will be much better if I don't interact with women." But when I say these things, my heart sinks. I don't really understand it; I fucking hate romance shows, and I think that even "true" love is nothing more than a charade put on by the people who desire it.
I feel awful if I consider getting a girlfriend, and I feel just as bad considering not having one. It's a real catch-22.
Well, I doubt anyone will give a shit about this blog. I know it seems like I'm an awful human being, and maybe I am. If nothing else, this is just me reflecting on it.
I'm gonna kick myself in the morning for publishing this, but I almost feel clearer just for having said it.
Still a paradox, though....maybe I should just cut my balls off. (No joke, actually considering this.)
The Wii U is a gaming wet dream.Nov 24, 2014
Just got a Wii U for my birthday! Cheezus Cheddar Cracker Christ, this console is fucking ORGASMIC.
For the life of me, I just can't understand why people hate on the Wii U so much. It's a freaking Nintendo Dreamcast HD! The gamepad is great, with the screen and the controller at just the right size. I actually love how it feels in my hands. I also have to compliment the speakers on the Gamepad, very sharp.
Smash is amazing, Bayonetta 1&2 are fucking MARVELOUS, Super Mario 3D World is out of this universe.
I'm having a total gamer-gasm with this thing.
Oh, yeah. I'll go post my Nintendo Network ID over in the appropriate thread. Might as well drop my 3DS FC while I'm at it.Sterling likes this.
Getting an interview for a Systems Administration position!Apr 18, 2014
Hey all, I'm getting an interview for a Systems Administrator position on Monday!
I'm so excited! Gotta brush up on my SQL and MySQL, but other than that, I should be fine.
The Great Sales ExperimentNov 7, 2013
Hello, everyone! I've been working on a pretty big sales campaign lately, and I think it should work out pretty well. I've been studying IM a lot, and I got into an affiliate program that pays out big bucks.
I've been doing my research, creating a sales script, and designing a landing page for it. By my calculations, a 20% conversion rate (which was estimated by my affiliate manager) would net me 600k USD a month on this.
And well...this is it. I'm launching it soon. I won't link to the campaign page here, as I don't want to be accused of trying to sell anything/spam on the Temp.
I guess I just wanted to say "thanks" to all the hackers, hobbyists, and DIY folks here. Even before I studied Internet Marketing, it was here that I learned that the rules of life, and the idea of what you can and cannot do are utterly malleable, if you only apply science, reason, and a little creative thinking. You guys have already changed my life so drastically, and laid the foundation for this project.
Thanks, guys. In many ways, you're the most valuable education resource on the internet.
Well, cross your fingers, and hold on to your underwear (with your crossed fingers), because...
Got my A+ finished!Aug 30, 2013
Hey, everyone! I managed to pass my A+ certification the other day. Forgot to mention it.
Next I'll be studying for my Net+, then Security+, Linux+, and finally my MCSE, all while doing college.
So recently I was hanging with friends who've never seen a flashcard before...Aug 20, 2013
I decided to bust out my Supercard DSTwo on my 3DSXL.
So I say, "Hey, guys, my new favorite game is Alex Rider's Stormbreaker."
One of them asks, "Oh, yeah? What's so great about it?".
I reply, slowly and dramatically, "It has elements....", stopping a moment to boot up the card into DS mode, "of ALL MY FAVORITE GAMES!"
Should've seen the look on their faces, man. Good times.
Four of the most offensive thoughts everJul 14, 2011
Offensive thought number 1: Justice is the Holy Man's Vengence
"What is the difference between revenge and justice? When someone wants revenge, they say, 'I have been wronged. They must pay!'. When someone wants justice, they say, 'I have been wronged. They must pay!'.
So what IS the difference? Revenge simply isn't sanctioned by law."
Offensive thought number 2: Modern American Women
"I am a very tolerant person. I am forgiving and graceful, and do not hold grudges against anyone or anything. I am tolerant of religions, sexual orientations that are not my own, and I am very much comfortable with transvestites. These are all people who have merely chosen a different path from my own. It is, however, frustrating, when every modern American woman I meet is a female-to-male transvestite. What else could explain the jeans and equally masculine behavior?"
Offensive thought number 3: Democracy
"I have been born into a democratic society. This means that the majority of people will always rule. However, one must consider human variability. With so many people with so many different ideas, how can there ever be a consensus? The answer is that you must always go by the lowest common denominator. The lowest, basest, primal wants and thoughts amongst the populace; these are the things that will rule in a democratic society. Thus, intelligent, complex thoughts and designs are as far out of a democratic society's reach as they are from a baby's mind. What does this mean for me? What about the police who swear to uphold the principles of a democratic society, risking their lives? Must they die that democracy will fall away, that complexity and technology may be manifested so we might live in a more beautiful world? If this is true, who will kill them?"
Offensive thought number 4: "Your Mom."
More to come!
AnticipationMay 18, 2011
Like the spritz of river's mist, sending chills down my spine amidst the summer's sun, fading from afternoon to evening, the glorious colors fill me with glee and anticipation, though I know not whether it is a full moon or a starless sky.
The world revolves regardless.
Whether my sight is far or near, the beauty of reality inspires me. The phenomenon of continuity continually causes me joy.
My steps by the hour, my breath by the minute, my thoughts by the second; existence is sweet nectar, this world my flower.
And you; you are my love. Not my one and only, for promises of exclusivity are but shallow lies; I cannot disgrace you or reality with that which is less than truth.
Do I dare shun my eyes from all but one color? Doth I sing in but one pitch? Shall I use but one word alone...or together, must I craft a symphony of life and lore?
So does the moon have many phases, shifting slightly every night, as do I shift from one greatness to the next.
The wind is my herald, my proclaimer. In it's breathless, toneless embrace, you shall find harmony. As it rushes through all that you are, so too are you caught in my embrace. But the wind does not embrace you alone, and in that there is unity.
Does the moon light the grass alone? Does it not also shine on the ripples of the ocean, illuminating every chaotic movement, every brush back and forth for all eternity?
I am the moon; the universe the sun. It's light is my light, and it's death is my undoing. But forever shall I revolve around the earth, the guiding light of the void.
But lo; when I have faded from view, so too does the universe shine once more, filling all with warmth and anticipation.
An amusing experiment in subconscious memoryMay 12, 2011
Greetings all! I have just finished placing an experiment which I wanted to share with you.
First, a little background: my family obtained a big screen, plasma HDTV around three weeks ago. I hadn't found it terribly impressive, since it was only slightly bigger than our standard definition TV. Actually, I thought it was a load of crap that they payed 4,000 dollars for such a tiny improvement. The interesting thing to note here is that it still fits in one of the armoirs that we had gotten, so ultimately, it is still "framed" inside the same box as the last one.
I was thinking about this recently, and decided to run an experiment. When my mother left to go get some groceries and other things this morning, I swapped the two televisions. I made sure that everything looks exactly like it did three weeks ago. This is an experiment to see if my mother will or won't register the change, relying on long-term memory rather than short term, and which long-term memory she uses to remember her environment.
I will post again after she comes home to relay the results of the experiment. It's a one-shot only, so we'll see!
The Bound and the Broken: PFE SagaApr 8, 2011
(Hey all. This is the first chapter in my book that I'm going to call The Bound and The Broken, though it'll also have two sagas, the "PFE" saga, and the "Good John and Ra" saga. I would really, really, really love for this to be a manga or visual novel, so if you're an artist and you like my writing, shoot me a PM.)
(Here's the theme song.) [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72MX4LqjIDc[/youtube]
A shooting star screams across the dimly lit morning sky, painting the black canvas with a temporary spark of life. The scream itself sounds not unlike a newborn babe's cry, as new as this planet, which had been void and nothing but seven days previous.
Closer now, the star flew to the earth, lowering beneath the stratosphere. A strange feature begins to form on it, however; the fire which encases the meteor begins to solidify. It changes from burning ember to flowing cloth, it's gentle sway wrapping the star like a baby's swaddling cloth. It's cry is followed by a sonic boom, piercing the silent atmosphere as effortlessly as a bullet tearing it's way through a balloon. The crying is ever louder now, but it grows softer as two wings sprout from the star; both black and spotted with glowing white spots, as though to look into them is to look into the cosmos itself.
These new wings flap outward, evening themselves and slowing the meteors' racing fall. They are somewhat clumsy, however, much like a hatchling's wings during it's first flight, having been suddenly kicked from it's nest. At last, the star reaches its destination; a cracked, dried clay earth blessed only by the sunrise's gentle orange light. Soft crying can be heard inside, though the star no longer falls. From amidst the flame-like cloth, a small, childlike figure rises, untangling the nest of cloth from whence he fell. His face , and entire body, is shaded by the oversized robe which now trails behind him.
His vision is blurred at first by the tears of shock, the pain of birth. Wiping his eyes with his cloth, he watches his tears sink into the earth, creating an audible sizzling sound as they pierce the ground like acid. The confused child looks around him; there is no sign of life for miles. Only barren mountains and a beautiful sunrise.
Suddenly, the sunrise seizes his attention. The clouds passing by the sun rush by, creating a mezmerizing image that he could not look away from. As he stares into the sun, it grasps his entire being. Soon, there are no mountains and no earth, no tears and no cloth, no open sky; real or imagined, there was only a message, a morse code of clouds which spoke to him with no voice. And in it's godly magnificence, it enraptured his soul in meaning.
“Greetings, little one of the night sky. I am Ogen, the Grand Star. I hold absolute power over this world; with my majesty, I light this world, and with my judgement, I plunge it into darkness. In my greatness, I have chosen to bless you with life. Look at your feet once more, little one, and know that I am truth itself.”
A large pool of water begins to form at the child's feet. It surrounds him entirely, leaving only his cloak untouched. This miraculously spawning lake, which rose from the cracks of the seemingly dead earth, had a surface as reflective as a silver mirror. He stared into it, and what stared back was his own dimunitive image. Two little glowing eyes, one red, and one yellow, and a wide cheshire cat grin that did not budge despite his changing emotion.
Looking back toward the sun, the child seemed to remember something...obscure, but important. It was something called...identity. He did not know where he got such thoughts, only that it was important that he know. And thus, he tried to speak his first words. A high, raspy voice gargles from the back of his throat as he tries to speak. “Ogen...Ogen...”, he repeats, the word easy to remember, a delight to practice.
(Will post more now.)