Silent_Gunner's Ramblings and Musings
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The title sums up my problem. There's this girl at work who's interested in me, and I in her. She's really nice, and is very easy to get along with. She's even understanding of someone having their Christian beliefs and everything (not that I'm Christian, myself). The problem is that she's said that she herself isn't a Christian anymore. She takes the good things from Christianity without the negatives like my parents do. And this is where the problems come in:
I don't have the means to move out at this point in time yet. Hence, I can't be straight up and honest and tell my parents that, to be frank, I don't care to be a part of church, that I'm not a Christian, and that I want nothing to do with the crap anymore. The reason I'm scared of my parents is that, about 14-15 years ago now, they sent one of my brothers who was having doubts about his faith to a private Christian college to essentially have him be re-educated, for all intents and purposes, though said brother in question would defend this nonsense. I, for one, not only want to avoid that because I disagree with it, but because I want to work this new relationship of mine out with this girl who, as far as I'm concerned, is more real to me than anything they could try and scare or convince yours truly of. I've had it up to here with my parents at this point. I want to save up all of the money I can, and focus on getting out of this house with their BS and finally be free at last of them. I hate being under their thumb more than anything else in my life atm, and hate how they can't let their own blood live his own life that makes him happy because some 2,000 year old book says so.
It's not that I hate Christianity or anything as much as I hate my parents. They are the kinds of people who stereotype anyone who's not a Christian as some body piercing-loving, rock-music worshipping, Satanic-loving monster who's just like Hitler and Stalin because they're a little too far to the left for their tastes and preferences, and use God as some metaphorical riot control for those under their influence that they believe they'll be held responsible for in some coming judgement at the end of time by God. No, I'm not making that up, it's all there in the Bible, or so they tell people to justify their cult-like BS. And I'm not making that up. The conglomeration of churches they're a part of are the Old Independent Fundamental Baptist church. For those who just happen to know who they are, these are the churches that preceded the establishment of the New Independent Fundamental Baptist church spearheaded by Steven Anderson. Yes, that Steven Anderson, except they tend to not be as open or as explicit in their hatred as the NIFB is.
This girl is, from what little I've talked to her anyways, is the sweetest thing I've ever talked to in my life. I know, I know, that's how a lot of early relationships start, but my previous shot at relationships all were based in the IFB in the hopes that maybe some girl would love me and secretly confess to wanting to get out of this nonsense herself. I kind of got those vibes from the previous girl I was dating, but there were other problems in that relationship that made that relationship fall apart that wasn't yours truly's or her fault in any way. This is the first time I've had a relationship with someone who's not had 20+ years of indoctrination in this BS and who's just a good person in general. The only major problem is that she has musical tastes that offend the "God" that my parents have (translation: their pastor in this church and the buddies who support both the church and his sub-organization Reformers Unanimous).
I will admit that what I'm talking about here won't make a lot of sense, especially those who didn't have fundamentalist Christian parents growing up with all of the restrictive BS like I'm describing here. The relationship is still there, but once my parents see one of the girl's posts about making a metal playlist for sleep via Google on Facebook, they'll want me to end the relationship right then and there, no debating outside of yours truly having to pack up his shit and move out!
This is the kind of thing that's leading to Christianity's death as far as I'm concerned. Who the hell wants to deal with parents that hate someone who shares the same interests as yours truly does, but just because this particular cult that's slowly but surely dying off isn't the center of their lives, they're a monster on the same level as Hitler and Stalin because of "being unequally yoked" out of a book with a talking snake.
The IFB is pretty much the kind of church featured in the Estus Pirkle trilogy of films as reviewed by the Cinema Snob in this video (only linking one of them, he reviews the other two if you're really curious):
I kind of screwed up the orientation and spacing of the Sol Badguy one compared to the others. It was the first one I put up. Otherwise, I'm quite happy with how it's turned out!
So, it's my understanding that, once Atmosphere is complete, it'll allow us to access everything on the system, we won't have to mess with jigs anymore, and everything will be sunshine and rainbows as far as the original Switch model is concerned (assuming there will be a second model of the Switch that'll feature substantial differences). At least, that's what "patching the system to have access and control over everything" implied to me in one comment I saw on this forum here.
The reason I ask is because, to be honest, I'm not in high school with no responsibilities anymore. I've got a job, bills to pay, money to save, college classes to go to, and, unfortunately, all of this can leave one quite exhausted, especially that part about college, and trying to fit in free time to do stuff can be very frustrating. Let me put it like this: in between trying to follow every update, every instruction in regards to trying to get full RAM access via that guide that natinusala put out, I am just getting burnt out on modding my Switch, especially when I have an ODroid XU4 that can run everything and more than what the Switch can offer in terms of retro game emulation (and homebrew coming soon with THERA 3.0, don't think it's in all caps like that, but I'm off the cuff here), and a phone that, when paired with my SFC30, can actually play DC games just fine on the go (really surprised, and it's not like I bought my phone for emulation to begin with). If my attempts to get the RAM access were successful, I might not be posting this here, but after one afternoon spent trying to run N64 games as a test to see if the full RAM access worked, I didn't get anywhere. From all of my attempts to get it to work, my hacked Switch now goes into RCM mode when it goes to sleep, which ruined the main thing I loved about the new Atmosphere update - the removal of the need to constantly use the exploit discovered by Fusee Gelee to get into CFW to play games that don't have a hope of ever coming to a system as convenient and as portable as the Switch, IMHO and experience. In between constant updates, the duplicate programs that kept showing up on my Switch from the many updates everything required, and just the trouble involved, I think I'm going to put hacking my dummy Switch until the scene here matures some more and some things are easier to pull off than they are right now. Because I can say that I can't remember where I started, and that in between everything that I want to do, and all of the struggles of life and the time it takes to do everything, I kind of wish I could just wipe the slate clean and start over with hacking the Switch with the knowledge I have now of how everything works, the whole structure of what program to use for this task, what to do if this problem comes up, how to make sure RA saves the game correctly, the whole package.
I'm not mad at any devs or any ridiculous nonsense like that. If anything, what SciresM, natinusala, mx4w, and others are doing is laying the groundwork for a paradigm shift of a system that, when it was confirmed what it was, filled a hole in my gaming life that I've been wanting filled for a long time: a portable system that could play the same games as on the TV, with the power of a seventh generation console. While the Switch obviously can't run every game up to that point I could imagine given all of the complexities for every individual game, the fact that it can run games up to the last generation that I could really sink my time and energy into gaming before having to become an adult with responsibilities is something I didn't think would be happening anytime soon. Then again, I never thought that a system like the UDOO Bolt V8 would be so capable of packing so much power in such a small package that I can't wait to see what the future holds on that front, ESPECIALLY when it can run RPCS3 and maybe Orbital, if anything of note comes from that other than a Command Prompt window (which isn't insignifcant, of course!...for anyone that has any idea about how difficult it is to get a computer together from a financial viewpoint to emulate a system that has to do complex calculations to run a system that the CPU wasn't made to normally run without some translation work, which certainly doesn't help anyone who just wants a working computer again and is hoping that this next setup will actually last and not have a ROG ASUS motherboard fuck up on him *glares violently at ASUS with fangs ready*).
I rambled a lot here, but I just wanted to kind of let it all out as I'm kind of frustrated with a lot of things in my life right now when I want to be on top of the world by having everything that I've always wanted. Unfortunately, the main center piece of what I want (a desktop PC with a VERY good CPU and GPU in comparison to most of the modern builds out there) just isn't working right now, so my college work hasn't been as nice and relaxing to work on. It just isn't the same to use a laptop as opposed to a wireless mouse/mechanical KB in your lap combo, you know?
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