Bolges bolges bolgesNov 25, 2020 at 2:11 PM
This bolges wil be write of feeling.
Feeling being small happy.
And you knows?
Previous holiday... I gave her my heart.
The day after. She gave it to someone other.
The holiday this year, to not cry. I give it to someone spectacular.
I write bolgesOct 29, 2020
This my bolges, hello!
RetroAchievements Log 2Oct 19, 2018
Taking a break from Final Fantasy - Mystic Quest, I decided to start with Super Mario World (SNES). Originally, I had planned to have that as a long term game to play, since I thought it would take some time to fight my way through all the achievements, doing multiple runs of the game and so on.
First I learned that you could re-visit castles by pressing L+R, so that was one obstacle gone! Yay!
However, it was very fun to play SMW, more than I remembered. At first I struggled a bit with the controls since I haven't played it all that much. But soon enough it felt really good, and I got one achievement after another. A few days later I had unlocked most of them. Collected the Dragon Coins, pressed the big switches with the same colored Yoshi, found all exits, beat certain stages without touching the walls, blocks, or enemies, or without using the main mechanic of that stage...
One after another they were ticked off. And eventually I had beaten the game, taking all 96 exits, went through every door in Bowser's Castle, collected every dragon coin...
Suddenly I only had 2 achievements to go. Those would require a fresh file!
Beat the game in the shortest possible way. That's 12 exits.
Beat the game without dying.
I decided to try to combine these two, the stakes were high as I slowly made progress to not lose any power-up I might need, not to lose Yoshi if he would be needed. If I got hurt, I wouldn't be able to go back to a previous level to take a power-up (I think!) and I would really need Yoshi and the feather to get to the secret exit on most of the levels.
And this is where I messed up. In the final star level. I was thinking about the stage where you go underneath the goal, jump off Yoshi, and go past it. It wasn't that stage. I would've had to drop Yoshi more towards the middle of the stage instead.
So now I had to go through the normal exit, play the level again, and continue.
I hadn't died yet though, so I decided to continue, and pretend that I didn't mess up (to see if it would be possible for me).
And then I went to Bowser, beat his castle using my favorite sections, beat him... and actually beat the game without dying! Wow! I thought I would struggle more! But it was 13 exits instead of 12. Booo!!!
So I restarted the game, and went for the shortest possible way again. I was careful this time around too, to not lose the power-ups... but wasn't afraid to die (even though that would've been bad for the sake of the power-ups).
And on that try, I did beat it. And I didn't die that time around either. huh! (and I kinda timed it, using the logs from a discord chat. and it took from 00:53 to 01:13 my time. so 20 minutes. That's including pausing and chatting some more!)
Super Mario World (SNES)
It's Super Mario World... a classic. It was a fun and completely manageable challenge! No overly difficult bullshit or anything, but well thought out and well implemented challenges.
63 achievements. 400 points.
That's all for now.
I'll still want to hear more suggestions on fun games to play, with nice achievement sets. The Final Fantasy ones and other JRPGs tend to have a lot of achievements that aren't fun. (beat the game with a really low level, so you have to run from everything and not grind for anything... and then also max out every character.... so you'll have to play through a full RPG at least twice... no thanks).
RetroAchievements Log 1Oct 10, 2018
Okay, so I recently played around and made me a signature for the first time in years, and I'm happy with how it turned out.
With the help of the RetroAchievements API it checks for my last played game, checks how many achievements I have acquired for that game and how many total achievements there are. Writes the numbers down where they belong, calculate completion percentage, and draw the progress bar. Yay! It would be fun to add a small image of each game I 100% to my signature, but well... that would be a rule violation! Oh no!! So therefore I'll write this little blog here instead. Writing down what I've achieved, what my current goal is and what I am thinking of doing in the future.
Oh yeah, RetroAchievements have casual and hardcore achievements - they are the same ones, but you have to toggle a switch in your emulator to get the hardcore ones. What does that mean though? Hardcore locks the emulation features, so no save states, no rewinding, no cheating. If you're going for achievements, why cheat? By doing this you get both the casual and hardcore achievements in one go, and you total at 200% completion. In my sig I decided to just count the hardcore ones. So with this intro out of the way, let's go!
First, I just played around with some of the easiest "games" to complete, just for testing purposes and having a bit of fun.
So I've to this date completed:
SNES Burn-in Test Cartridge (SNES)
A test cartridge for service, testing burn-in and controller inputs and stuff. It features a 16-bit rendition of the Zelda 2 theme! That makes it worth it alone!
10 achievements. 10 points.
Mario's Early Years - Fun With Numbers (SNES)
Learning how to count to 10 with Mario, Yoshi, Peach and Luigi... And learning about shapes. Yeah, no, this is nothing to play at all. I just farmed some achievements for fun. It's so mind numbing that I don't have the energy to get the free achievements from the sequel (Letters).
13 achievements. 50 points.
The very first achievements I got however, was when I streamed ActRaiser (SNES) for GBAtempTV. I got all the story related ones, having the "professional" mode to do still (that's all action stages, no simulation. How boring!). There's one achievement I've missed in the regular playthrough, and that's to get maximum population: you need to plan the town building carefully not to accidentally build a bridge instead of a house (by moving to some squares from the wrong direction), and you have to farm high score points in the action stages to be able to get enough people. This is one I've saved for some reason, if I'll stream it some more or something... not sure yet.
20 out of 34 achievements. 180 out of 400 points.
Currently, I'm playing Final Fantasy - Mystic Quest (SNES). I always stopped 3/4ths into the game, so now I'm finally fighting my way to the end! Finally getting it squared away (pun intended).
70 out of 94 achievements. 287 out of 400 points.
113 achievements out of 151: 74.83% completion
527 points out of 860: 61.28%
So what are my future plans? Well, I'm looking into playing Super Mario World. I'll probably start off with the GBA version, because it has quite a friendly set. After that I'd tackle the SNES version, which is way more intense!
This would be a long running one, while playing other games in between.
I also want to tackle Yoshi's Island (not sure which version yet), and Super Mario Bros. Advance (As in Mario 2 for GBA).
That's all for now! Do you have any game suggestions? Opinions on Yoshi's Island versions? Do you use RetroAchievements? Let me know!
Issac's EDGE Top 100 backlogAug 30, 2017
Alright, I was curious to see which games I've played and not of the Top 100 list from EDGE... but I quickly realised that I Own some, I've tried some (like 10-20 minutes), I've played some properly, and beaten some. So I'd rather see all those possible cases. I'll use colour coding.
Regular text = not owning.
Bold text = owning. (Not counting Virtual Console games here. If it's a SNES game, I might have the VC version but list it as "not owning").
Standard colour = not tried
Red = tried
Blue = played
Green = beaten
100. Super Hexagon
99. Her Story
98. Super Monkey Ball
97. Final Fantasy XII
96. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
95. Hyper Light Drifter
94. Katamari Damacy
93. Animal Crossing: New Leaf
91. Puzzle Bobble
90. F-Zero GX
89. The Sims 3
88. R-Type Final
87. Elite: Dangerous
85. StarCraft II
84. Pac-Man: Championship Edition
82. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
81. Puzzle & Dragons
79. League of Legends
78. Super Meat Boy
77. Xenoblade Chronicles
76. OutRun 2006: Coast to Coast
75. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive
74. Civilization IV
73. Battlefield 4
72. Metroid Prime
70. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
68. Towerfall Ascension
66. Batman: Arkham Knight
64. Puyo Puyo
63. FTL: Advanced Edition
62: Persona 4 Golden
61. Mass Effect 2
59. The Stanley Parable
58. XCOM: Enemy Unknown
57. Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate
56. The Witcher III: Wild Hunt
55. Far Cry 4
54. Titanfall 2
53. Doom (2016)
52. Trials Fusion
48. Super Mario 3D World
46. Dead Space
45. Dota 2
43. Super Mario Maker
42. Fire Emblem Fates
40. Shadow of the Colossus
39. Halo 3
38. The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
35. The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
34. Kerbal Space Program
31. The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
30. Rock Band 3
29. The Last Guardian
28. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
26. Super Metroid
25. Demon's Souls
24. Horizon: Zero Dawn
23. Advance Wars
22. The Witness
21. Mario Kart 8 Deluxe
20. Ultra Street Fighter IV
19. Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain
18. Rez Infinite
17. Uncharted 4: A Thief's End
16. Super Mario World
15. Red Dead Redemption
14. Super Mario 64
12. Bayonetta 2
10. Resident Evil 4
9. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
8. Super Mario Galaxy 2
6. Half-Life 2
4. The Last of Us
3. Grand Theft Auto V
2. Dark Souls
1. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Not 100%ed it yet)
So Yeah, That was.. depressing
Let's see, I've played (and tried): 35/100 ....
How do you see me, then?Aug 14, 2017
Just for the fun of it, let the hate come
I'm angry with the world.Jan 22, 2016
I'm pissed off.
I'm sad, angry, and I want to fucking scream and shout my heart out.
I'm feeling helpless and alone.
I'd punch a hole in every wall, every door, break every window and kick furniture to splinters.
Hell. Life's hell.
Best Swedish song of the year!Mar 9, 2013
Found one hell of a catchy tune!
Oh! What a surprise!
Coming here and film me while I'm on the throne!
Oh! What a surprise!
Ha! Ha! Here you won't get any privacy.
Oh! What a surprise!
Coming here and film me while I'm on the throne!
Oh! What a surprise!
Give- Give- Give me the sammiches here now!
Oh! What a surprise!
Coming here and film me while I'm on the throne!
Oh! What a surprise!
Ha! Ha! Here you won't get any privacy.
Oh! What a surprise!
Coming here and film me while I'm on the throne!
Oh! What a su-su-
Look, what a Bambi bag full of flat bread!Eerpow likes this.
[part 1] Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale impressionSep 19, 2012
So what are my first impressions of the PSASBR beta? Not good.
Note: I only played this for 20-30 minutes... something... and it's just a first impression comment!!
It starts out with all the usual health info, user agreements, studio logos etc. Then it comes
to the "main menu" where you have the choice of: "ONLINE GAME". No options what so ever.
No single player mode (understandable). No training mode (alright, fair enough). No tutorial
(hmm, how should I play?). But then also, No options (I mean options as in settings now).
So x jumps, the other three face buttons are attacks.they behave differently depending on
if you are jumping, if you are jumping and pressing down, and if you stand still or if you move.
Nothing new, nothing wrong. I did not, however, grasp what different kind of attacks they all were!
The square button when standing still bitch-slapped with the killzone dude, while moving forward,
it brings you to your knees, standing still and shooting. alright? then, moving and pressing triangle
hits with the butt of the gun, while standing still it shoots... ah something like that. It was confusing
and I didn't understand it all. I tried all different kind of characters, and the main thing about the
attacks were also that none gave an impression of how heavy the hits were. Everything could be
countered, blocked... hitting someone with a grenade made them flinch a bit, just the same as a
bitch-slap did. And also, moving is quite fast, and jumpings is really fast.
The camera was very zoomed out all the time, except when the players all were together in one
single place, then it was zoomed in a lot, which was fun. However, the size of the very flat stages
in this beta were too big. It was just... flat, with some occasional platforms appearing. this made
it zoomed out a lot most of the time to see the whole stage, rendering the characters very small
and hard to distinguish. I have a 32" full HD TV, but things were still too small for me. And the only
thing that helped was the brightl coloured P1, P2, P3, and P4 above the character at all times.
Now, then you had to remember which one you were from match to match, which easily can be
seen on the bottom of the screen though... (Could've just said "YOU", or maybe only show an
arrow on yourself and not the opponents).
The graphics were sweet! absolutely nothing to complain about here! The models looked great
and the stages looked great as well. A lot of details and things. It was hard to see if some things
were bad or good though... as in: "Oh the patapons made it glow red on the floor on some places,
I wonder if it's something good or bad? Walk over there, nothing happens, and then BOOM,
shit starts flying from the sky hurting you" stuff. Sometimes the brightly colored stuff on the level
are power-up things... But that's stuff you just got to learn I guess.
On the supers. I have no idea still how they work. It felt really unbalanced somehow. With Kratos
first level super, pressing R2 make you throw a glowing hit, killing anyone you hit. You have to
be really precise, and it is kinda slow, so opponents jump out of the way easily. Parappa can
apparently summon a skateboard and go around for several seconds, killing everyone and wait
until they respawn and kill them a second time. While his highest level super shows a rap cutscene
killing everyone in one hit, no options. Killzone dude's highest level super make him into a war machine
and FPS shooting on everyone for several seconds, making it possible to kill people several times
when they respawn (one hit kills). Ice-cream-truck-dude from twisted metal turns into a car, transformer style
and begins shooting burst of shots (one hitters here as well) making it possible to kill all characters
time and time again.
Note here: Isn't Solid Snake's super attack in SSBB an FPS crosshair, shooting opponents? And
Star Fox's super is summoning a tank, shooting missiles? Those were very similar in execution in
my oppinion. Now, it might not be anything unique, I just wanted to point that out.
Now, the beta only contained 5 characters... Killzone-dude, Twisted Metal Clown-dude, Fat Princess,
Parappa and Kratos. Killzone-dude was really slow with attacking, short ranged attacks except
shooting, which was really slow. Kratos had long ranged attacks, was a lot quicker and flexible.
Like it should be, different styles! But the thing I said earlier that you didn't feel the weight of the
attacks, made this awkward. fast, long ranged attacks vs. slow short ranged attacks, and you don't
feel any difference using them. Maybe the meter fills more quickly with Killzone-dude? I didn't notice
since the action in itself was so quick that I'd be killed if I tried to see how much each and every attack
filled the meter.
When two people had the same character (what are the odds, in 4 people brawl, with 5 characters to
choose from? ;P ) there were some costume differences, like color... Ice-cream-truck-man ran around
in shorts... red-orange dotted if "player one" and green-yellow dotted if "player two"... I often started
following the wrong character since I didn't pay (enough) attention to the numbers floating above the character.
So for those who has played SSB, this feels like everyone is in Metal-mode, with bunny ears. Max out zoomed...
with sporadic items that sometimes are good to pickup, sometimes knocks you down when you get close.
But I must say, that It looks more like a SSB-clone than plays like one.
However, I'm not one who think it's bad to be a clone, I think it's bad to deny being a clone (or deny it looking like
a clone in this case).
But I would rather see they cloned the gameplay as well... It just wasn't enjoyable.
The super kill system is a bit unfair, as someone good can beat up someone not that good, a lot to earn
his super-meter-things... then go to another great player and unleash hell on him. One hit kill on someone
who played like a pro and didn't get hit once before.. That's... alright when you are four friends sitting
around the TV on local multiplayer mode, with a few beers... not now, not like this. :/
Now, once again, this is based on a 20-30 minute run, and is only the FIRST impressions. It just wasn't a good
first impression on me. But maybe I had set my expectations too high? I wanted a brawler just like SSB, with
more advanced attacks, heavier gameplay (like, the punching should feel rewarding), and more "mature"
unlockables than SSB. Now unlockables doesn't have anything to do with this beta impression of course! I'm just
saying what I was expecting from the FULL game, what I wished this would be. And with "mature unlockables", I
mean that they should matter. It should be rewarding to unlock stuff. Good stages, new characters (not just
variations of different characters, like many of SSB characters are. Dr mario plays just like mario, etc.), new
items, new soundtrack... things that would matter! Not like the SSB trophies, or stickers.. even though the stickers
do have a point in the solo game mode... it's not that rewarding to collect and unlock..
Well, it is a brawler that doesn't feel quite right while playing. It has more advanced attacks! different attacks and
the possibility of making combos! That's awesome! The "heavy gameplay".. nope, not the way I wanted it to be.
It is probably more physically correct, but not as fun. I punch in the face from a strong character should make you
fly 6 feet! And the unlockables, that will have to wait for the real game to come out
Did I miss something? Do you wonder anything specific? Ask away.
And remember, this is only my oppinion! Others probably think it's great and others probably think it sucks monkeyfarts.
Whoa, I played Sony Smash Bros for 30 minutes!
How was it? Meh!
SSB Clone? Looks like it, doesn't play like it!
[part Â½] Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale impressionSep 19, 2012
Well, I got a beta key to PSASBR, and was asked to blog my impressions here.
So what's my first impression? It takes a lot of time to download!
It was just ~500 MB, but it took well over one hour and thirty minutes (it was at 45% after one hour, then I went to bed and let it continue).
So there you have it. Started the download at 1 AM, didn't want to wait any longer at 2 AM, and had to go up to start my day at 6 AM. So my first first first impression is that it takes forever to download. (downloading 12 GB of skyrim from steam takes 30 minutes.. so no, it's not caused by my connection).
Tonight I will actually get to play it and will post the real first impressions.
Why I'm slow / news!Jan 13, 2012
I know I should update the R4 WOOD Language thread... I hate myself for not doing it. (And now I have to sleep... I'll try to do it tomorrow, and start being better at it!)
The reasons I have for being so slow / absent from it, is:
1) I forget.
2) I have a LOT of things to do @ Uni.
3) When a lot of posts start to build up, it takes forever to update, making me postpone
4) I think I have some sort of postponing disorder... (I always postpone, and have always done it my whole life... And there actually is an explanation for it coming up, in the next section).
Some news about me.
I've become a member of Mensa. Whoop. I read something about gifted children, and how they behave and preform in school (and postpone stuff), and I thought I'd check my IQ values and stuff... turned out I have a bit above average and became a member of Mensa. Now I have an explanation why I've been as I've been my whole life.
Now I know I'm not stupid for failing certain things, and that has given me the confidence I needed to preform well enough to overcome it!
So, is anyone else at the temp a member of Mensa? Should be about 6000 (considering you'll have to be in the top 2%, and there's ~300,000 members here)
Micro short story.Nov 27, 2010
I think I have shown this to you before, maybe not? However, there are so many new users here now anyway, so I might as well show it again.
I wrote a really really really short story one night. I just had this ultra flow and things kept coming from my head.
Now, When I wrote it, I made a few hidden things in it... or what it should be called. I'd like to hear your comments on this.. can you find anything "hidden" in it, references, or anything? How do you interpret the story? How do you interpret the style of the layout and colours and stuff.
What I really want is to get a nice discussion going, hopefully serious.
And I'd also like some comments on what you think, but not just "lol great" or "omg it suxxors" but also: WHY does it suck?
Last thing: I saved it as an image because those I was going to show it for couldn't view pdf files for some reason, nor word.. so it's not anything animated or such just so you know!
the new girlSep 11, 2010
I know some of you are really interested in the new girl I've talked about in my previous blogs. And I know atleast one person wants to hear the whole story in full detail. Fair enough.
I am an university student, starting my fifth year. We get the opportunity to take care of the new students when they start, two weeks before the older students. We also have our student overalls on here in Sweden, which are program specific. Mine's orange! and we only use the legs, and tie the arms around like a belt. Maybe I can find an image if someone want to see I am also riding the train since I live in a town 70 KM away from the school... takes about 25 minutes one way.
So I'm standing there at the platform, first day for the new students. It's way early, 6:56 AM. The overall's on, the special designed t-shirt is on. And I see this cute girls, black haired, black clothes, standing there. Riding the train every day makes you remember the people who usually ride, and this was a new face. Maybe she's just a girl going for some shopping. Maybe she's going to her friends. Or maybe she's a new high school student, since there are speical programs in this other town. Hm, wait a minute, she looks at me, I better look away. I realized I was staring. I sneeked a peak every once and again since I was early and had to wait for a while, and I noticed that she looked in my direction each time. I also noticed that she looked at my pants, or, the overall. Slowly I think, Maybe it looks funny for people not knowing about them. And for a fraction of a second I think "Maybe she's going to study at the university"... and in an even smaller fraction I add "maybe in the same program as I study", and in an even smaller fraction "maybe she'll be in the class which I'll take care of". But I quickly disregard those thoughts.
So the train ride goes slow as usual, and I listen to some music, nothing interesting happened at all, except that the train personel got a huge grin on her face when she saw my overall.
Now I'm at my destination, getting off the train. Start walking the usual way I've walked for the past 4 years. Stopping by the road to make sure I won't get run over, and i quickly see that the cute girl actually followed me this far. But one third of the people getting off the train goes this way so it's nothing special. Walking a bit more in some alleys that not many people walk in, I notice again that she's following me. Now the thought of she studying at the university comes to my mind again. But I just continue walking towards the special breakfast place for the new students (NOT at the school). And when I got there, i noticed that she followed me all the way there. So I said Hi to her, and she said hi back, and blushed a bit, and then she went inside.
Later that day, we all who were going to take care of the new kids presented us in front of the class we were assigned, and to my surprise, the girl was sitting there, right in front of me! Now we didn't speak that much for the whole day, and there were a lot of silence since everyone's new and all... but later in the evening when there were some activities she went to up me and introduced herself and asked if I was the one on the train, and asked if I was going home with the last train of the evening and if we could go together. So we talked a lot about how the first day was, and if she enjoyed it. I also asked what she studied in high school, and also what her plans and expectations were for the future of her studies. And she asked me a lot of things about the later classes and also a few personal questions here and there.
We arrived in our town again, and went seperate ways. the first day was over.
The second day I take a later train to school, and I don't meet the girl until later when the new students have their morning gymnastics, which is a fun little joke thing made up by the leaders of the student welcoming. Since there's a lot of maths directly in the start of their studies we help them to get going and answer to questions in their lessons. It's the first time most of them don't use calculators and some things are completely new to them. Also, it's a time for them to ask questions about other things as well. I only got the chance to help her once this day though. And rather quickly the day was over, and it was time for the first party. And I was assigned to be the sober senior sadly, so I had to keep an eye out for trouble, make sure no one was left outside and such things. So the evening was pretty boring since it's often not fun to talk with someone sober when you yourself is drunk. We just said hello some times when our path's crossed. And often we got eye contact and she smiled at me, which was something that made my heart skip a beat. I can't even remember the last time someone just, smiled at me, with a warm and nice smile. However, that night came to an end as well, and I went home.
The next few days were all very busy for me, since I had an examination to study to as well as keeping an eye out for all the new students. I never got a chance to talk with her properly, just answer some questions she had about some of the parties coming up, none of which I could attend to sadly. But there was a good bit of eye contact and smiling. Maybe it just was our way of saying hi, maybe it was something more. I didn't know though. I and didn't want to hope for something. The days went on and on, and I actually finished the exam, and passed! And the same day I also got my results back from another subject where I also passed, which meant that I would get money this year too. My mind was much more at ease and would from now be able to enjoy myself fully, and not have to think any negative thoughts at all.
The big party at the end of the introduction weeks to the new students is comning up in a few days, and I ask her if she would like a ride home to our town afterwards. Since the party is in a town twice as far away as the study town, and we only get to ride a bus back to the study town, I made a deal with my parents to pick me up at night and drive me home. She said she would think about it, since she can stay at her sisters place as well. Nothing more really happens until the day of the party. I waited in line for approximately 4 to 5 hours before I came in, and she was much further ahead in line, so she got in 1 and a half hour before me. We met up and talked for a bit, then she went to a big tent were a lot of people were, and I was going away to order my big 1 litre tankard with high alcohol cider. Yummy! I went in to the tent later and sat down facing her at the table, and we started talking a bit again. She brought her camera, and tried taking a photo of me, and sa I usually do, I hide my face behind my hands. She notices of course, and tries again, same procedure. This time she didn't notice it because I was so quick, but she looked at the picture just taken, and she looked at me, squinted her eyes, and said: "Heeey, I want a picture of you!" and then she stuck her tongue out at me. So I gave in, tried to look as non-dorky I could. And the evening went on and on and on. Watched a few bands play, met some old high school and and even older friends. At one point I thought, hey I should message her, asking if she wanted a ride or not, and since I was one of the seniors, I got her number from a list. Yes, it was actually that boring. No "Hey give me a call" or anything, I just looked it up. However, she accepted the offer and thought it was very awesome to not having to wake her sister up, who even has a little baby.
So we sit on a bus together, talking for 45 minutes, and just talk about how these weeks have been and what she thought about it all. We talked about things we might've had in common and things about ourselves. When we got to our middle destination, we noticed that it was raining. Luckily we both had umbrellas, really small umbrellas. We shared hers, and I said "This is much more cozy". She agreed.
We walked up to the car my parents parked a few streets away, and we started rolling again. talking, again. for 45 minutes, again. We drove to her mom's place, let her go, then we drove home and I went to bed deadly tired.
The morning after, I wake up, eat breakfast, get ready for school since there still were some things to do before this period was over. To my surprise I got a text message! "Good morning How are you today? Hugs"...
I was surprised to be the one who got contacted, it's most often the other way around. Also, to be the one who didn't have to start writing "hugs" was something completely new. I do however know that it is a common thing to write between friends, but it still was special to me. A few days went on and we talked through text messages and by smiling at eachother in the school corridors. And one day she asks how I was feeling. During a long time, which I've written in previous threads / blog entries, my girlfriend and I have had problem and she was about to leave me. We were on a hiatus during this whole time I've been talking to this new girl, and the feelings have been gone for quite some time before as well. That is another story though. I told her about it, that there was trouble with my girlfriend, and I filled her in with some info. Her reply had "awww" and "hugs <3 " in it, along with other stuff. I didn't want to bore her with all that, but she seemed interested so I told her everything, how things have been and that we've been on the way to break up a long time. In the meantime, the endings of the text messages have gone from "hugs" to "kisses", which to me is a huge improvement! Especially since it was She who started using it!
One day when we take the train together home to my town, yes MY town, she moved to this study town, she told me "You should break up with her. You really deserve someone better". The day after, she asked me to take the same train with her to school, since she was staying at her mom's that night. Of course I did! She also got some paper bags with her, with a lot of heavy stuff, like several pounds of pasta, and some clothes and other useful things. We were talking and joking "I hope the bags won't break!" and right then, they do. So now she needs help carrying them to her apartment, and of course I voulenteer. So I get to walk with her all the way to her apartment, in to her apartment, and she showed me her four small walls, bed, couch, tv and bookcase. And she also told me that if I ever want to stay over when there's a party or something, her couch's almost always empty. She realized how hard it was for me when she also had to get places to stay at, or getting a ride with me home.
Well, I was still having a girlfriend at the time but she comforted me a lot during this time and gave me confidence to actually go through with the break up. I've told you all this before as well, so I won't go into details about that. Break up happened this friday. So now, today, I am single and haven't talked to her for a little while, but I was thinking of being nice and lend her my C++ book, which is out of print here in Sweden. We discussed programming, and she thought it was a bit hard to grasp, and didn't think the book recommended by the course leader described everything enough. My book is a lot better in my oppinion, though I have no use for it at the moment. So I sent her a message "Hi, if you want to borrow my c++ book you may.. i brought it today, kisses" upon where she replies: "aww, you're so damn sweet! I'd love to! Kisses". And so she would come by the place where I was working with a project before lunch, but she never came. So I asked her where she was and she didn't have the time to come, and was sorry for that. So we decided that I'd go to where she had a lecture and talk to her in the break. She got the book, we started talking. And my God! Her eyes were piercing me this whole time. Maybe it is just what i feel, maybe that's just the way she looks at people, or maybe, just maybe, there's something more to it. I felt there was some tension. I can't say for sure that it wasn't just me. But it sure felt like she was getting closer to me, backed off a bit, got closer again, backed a bit. We were standing at a tall round table, I might add, so she was getting a bit closer by sliding around the table. Now I had to go to the train, and she had to go back to the lectures. She moved closer to me, opened her arms. And she hugged me. "bye! and Thank you!", "bye!"... and I walk away. Light headed. That caught me totally off guard!
Chapter 5 - mini
I just texted her today, and said one thing this evening: "Do 3 math assignments tonight, and I'll give you a hug tomorrow"... I wonder if she's gonna do it, and if she does, if she's going to tell me that she deserves one... We'll see!
Chapter 5 - more
This haven't happened yet, so I don't know when I'll be able to update it!
It's over, nowSep 11, 2010
Well, for those haven't read my previous blog, this is a short summary: I was about to break up with my girlfriend.
Now, I am single. It's done. Finito.
Actually, it was played out exactly as I wanted to!
She texted me during my dinner, asking if I thought it felt like we were together, which I didn't. So I just told her that "no I don't think so actually".
Then she asked if I was angry with her about that day she stood me up, which I replied "yeah, a little bit... or, more dissapointed"
Then she said "I don't know how we should continue this..." to which I replied "As friends i think"
and that was that. no drama, no one dumping the other. just a joint decision. just like I wanted and everything, and now I'm free to do whatever I want, and only think about me. See what's best for me
Sooo, continue the discussions from the other thread here, or come with new comments or flames or suggestions
It's over, soonSep 8, 2010
Some of you may know what have happened in my relationship, that my girlfriend wanted to take a pause some time ago, only to break up with me after two weeks. Devastated me and I got all emotional and sad and depressed. Two weeks later she realized her mistake and wanted me back. And since I was all in love with her I never thought twice about it. Now, three weeks ago, she wanted yet another pause. She has been hit on by a lot of guys during this time we were together again, and she has kind of responded to everything. And I mean, even 11 years older motor freaks, you know... the stereotype from the movie grease multiplied with sleezbag... She's been taken out to dinners and stuff even!
That made me jealous, quite a lot.
Well, that was enough for her to think of me as a turn off. My "insecureness isn't sexy at all". So she wanted to take a pause. Time has passed, I've had time to think. Not long ago she stood me up just 2 hours from when we were supposed to go to a place together... she just said "i don't feel like it"... It was her brother's damn birthday party we were going to!! And then she wasn't at home nor at her best girl friends house... where was she? Beats me....
And today, she had a 3 course dinner at a guys house which he fixed for her... and she was at her best girl friends house and did a nail job (the friend studies to be a pro)... making herself all pretty and well when she's offered a fucking 3 course dinner at a guys house! We haven't broken up yet, just a pause with the agreement that we wouldn't see other people, just get some time alone to think... she's broken that "contract" long ago, but it pisses me off! The way she does it I mean. writing about it all over facebook, probably just so that I can read it. She's fucked up...
On the bright side though: I've met this really wonderful girl who I became great friends with instantly. She's a new girl at University where I study, so I am her senior or whatever you call it... Maybe you think I'm a hypocrite now. Am I, though? I met her for the first time the same day we took this pause, as her senior, and had a LOT in common so we started talking and became friends. Sure she's all cute and such, but I didn't have an ulterior motive at the time. Now however, since I've been treated like a barfed up piece of dogshit, I'm starting to think that maybe there might become more of this friendship.
I've even talked with this girl about everything, and she's shown great support and given advice and actually told me that "maybe you should be the one to end it this time... She doesn't deserve you".
So I went from misery, to angry, on to i-don't-care-ish, and further on to "hey, i think this is the best way, to split up"-ish... and from that to having a crush again... it feels kind of good! So, sooner or later I'm going to break up with my "girlfriend"... probably more sooner than later. and I actually feel good about it.
tl;dr: Girlfriend treated me like shit, I'll break up soon, found a new crush
Thoughts, comments, flame or hate?