My 1000th post!Aug 14, 2010
! THIS BLOG IS MEANT TO BE READ WHILE LISTENING TO THE LINKED SONG.
EDIT: But the song is mean and won't show so here's the direct link for it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiT67KYS5Fs
I made this blog to celebrate my 1000th post.
But also to share some of my thoughts.
Today while on my daily biking hour I saw a dead pigeon which I found mildly creepy.
I wonder if it's a sign of something... ?
I also went to this little park near my house (There are many little parks near my house...) and I saw this person sitting on the grass with a little tennis ball, s/he was throwing it for his/her dog to fetch it. While s/he was dressed in a rather masculine way I'm still not sure of her/his gender but I got this weird urge to talk to him/her, I didn't do it in the end... I wasn't brave enough.
I wonder if s/he felt that way too... ?
If soulmates do exist... Do they feel that way too?
I feel like this isn't the last time I'll see this person...
Maybe my hormones and imagination are going to far...
Or maybe I'm just to influenced by Madame Bovary's ideas.
Oh but wouldn't it be wonderful to live a romance like those of books?
I wonder if I'll ever get one? A romance like that...
If I think i never will then certainly it will never happen, but if I don't then I'll just end up frustrated.
Have you noticed how I wonder many things?
I wonder if this questions will ever get answers...
Or if I will ever stop asking them to myself...
I guess only time will tell...
But I'm too impatient.
Before bed...Aug 4, 2010
When I try to sleep I usually end up turning around from side to side thinking about things. Prevalent topics in these instances I will discuss here:
-My future, I start imagining what would happen were I to make certain choices. I imagine the full situation, the conversations I'd have with the people involved, the things IÂ¡d have to give up, the pros and cons, everything, but in the end I kind of overwhelm myself, and end up getting confused... oddly when I wake up that confusion is no more.
-Meeting with some... saviour? I've been fantasizing about meeting an intelligent looking person that will come and take me away to see the world. Of course that person wouldn't be saving me were it not for the troubles that fog my head, mainly economic ones.
It all went downhill after my grandfather died, he basically payed for all of our (my mom, grandma and I) expenses, which were... well, expensive. Before he died we usually spent a lot, A LOT, of money. But some time before his death he was trying to cover some debts he and my grandma had, only my grandma never bothered to check our financial situation, so when he died everyone was shocked to see all he/we/they owed to many places. Don't you think how it was noble of him to try not to rid us of what we were used to having in order to pay everything? So that's mainly why I'd like to meet some person like that. And engage in fun conversations with him/her. But that's so selfish of me... I shouldn't think like that. It probably will never happen. But if I lose hope it surely never will! I feel conflicted.
-How videogames are a waste of time. I don't think they're doing any good, but they aren't doing me and harm too. They're just there, to keep me entertained when I'm feeling otiose. But maybe they aren't a waste of time... ? Or maybe I'm just growing out of them... ? I can never make up my mind when it comes to this and other things. I hate how indecise I am. But I can't really fix that part of me.
Now about the second topic, I also have a conflict there. When I think of this glorious person, I imagine it as a man. Does that mean I'm gay? It's weird, maybe I'm just influenced by all those novels I've read, where men are usually the ones with such roles, it's like I'm becoming Monsieur Bovary . Then again I also often fantasize of me meeting some girl I can share everything with, and having magical moments with her, then having children and just living a happy life. But I also have a hard time thinking of women as an object of sexual desire, which is needed to have children, and to have a child in a laboratory seems so unnatural, don't you think? So don't say that. I feel disgusted of myself when I think about women that way. However, I also feel like that when I think of men as an object of sexual desire, which I have. I'm confused, but maybe this is a normal process. I hope it is.
Persona moment and a bad afternoonJun 22, 2010
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So after "school" (I'm actually homeschooled, kind of, I attend a school online, however, I do have to go to an actual physical one every once in a while to do certain things) I decided to go for a ride on my bike since I'm lucky enough to have three parks near my house, my own entrance to one of them and the other two less than a block away, they're interconnected actually but each one is separated by a little street. Anyway, while I was on one of them I decided to hear my music a little louder, at that moment I was going through my Persona soundtrack playlist and after turning up the volume I looked to the side and a cute little butterfly passed, it was so weird since butterflies are a recurring theme on Persona games... I stared at it for some time and decided to move on, while I was riding I switched gears and suddenly I couldn't pedal anymore, I stopped and tried to fix it since this had alredy happened twice (The first time a nice guy helped me, the other I just tried to mimic what said guy had done) but much to my dismay I couldn't fix it. So I returned home, looked up a guide and fixed it properly. Stupid chain. Then I decided to go to the bike paths that are near my house (there's a bike path pretty much on every main street near were I live), while I was there suddenly one of my earphones stopped working, and this is the second time it's happened this year on two different sets of earphones! I didn't worry to much about it but was still a bit upset. Then, I sudddenly felt an... "air"? I guess you could call it like that. The thing is due to excessive use, the pants I like to wear when riding (black somewhat skinny jeans) decided to break. On the crotch. I came home hoping nobody had noticed, and now I'm writing this.
I got a PSP! (again)Jun 17, 2010
So I sold my Xbox and got a PSP, again, I had one before but I sold it to get the xbox , here, look at it:
It's a Felicia Blue PSP 2000 slim, it also came with a Daxter and PES 2009 UMDs, a Logitech case, a little bag for it, two memory sticks (2 and 4gb), charger and usb connector AND with m33 fw!
Pretty good deal if I do say so myself. Now I'm trying to download MGS: Peace Walker!
I hope I can get to play some multiplayer tomorrow since I have a usb internet stick that has a PSP Xlink option.
HarassmentJun 3, 2010
So I just got home after walking with my mom & dog to buy some groceries, we went walking since the vet told us our dog's kinda fat so she needs to lose some weight, since like in most place you can't enter with pets I decided to take a walk instead of just sit there and wait, while I was walking some random guy on a bicycle looked at me, smiled, and said hi, I didn't reply, but instead just looked at him with a "why are you saying hi to me you fucking weirdo", and kept walking... what's worse is that this isn't the first time something like this has happened, it's happened at least thrice in the last year... and all have been men.
I don't know if I should be worried or flattered.
Also I'm playing Final Fantasy XII International Zodiac Job System and it's freaking awesome, since they actually force you to be more creative with your gambits and skills, rather than having every character with the same ones, this too happens for the equipment, for example, before I had every character equip the best sword avaliable, but now only Vaan and Basch can use them, since I made them a Samurai and Knight respectively (I'm playing with the patch thing, FFXII's translation is just too superb to pass on, and I'm more fluent in English than Japanese anyways), so the others are stuck with other weapons.
What are you people playing?
So long, my NDS lite!May 29, 2010
So today I went to watch Ponyo (OMG PONYO SO CUTE <3) with my cousin and her friend on this museum thingy that's built below my country's presidential palace, after the movie I went to the bathroom to pee, so I peed, anyways, I checked my pockets to see if I had all my stuff. Wallet: check, earphones: check, DS: check, so I decided to open my DS to see what time it was since my watch's battery died a few days ago, and I don't have a cellphone atm (I think they're a bit unnecesary tbh), so I opened it and I heard a crack, and then WOAH, my DS's hinge broke. I'm not sure how it happened, the only thing I can think of is that it violently bumped into something on the bus and/or metro. I'm kinda sad . Here, have pictures of it:
And I had just gotten a cute charm for it too
It made me realize however, that it has lots of dust in it, but I guess that's kind of inevitable.