Plutia is my wife!
Stay away from my waifu harem unless you are a loli or want to join!
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    Eix so after the dog broke my drawing tablet and i managed to somehow get it refunded and a new one sent to me without having to send the broken one in i wanted to draw
    and what better to spend your free time doing than drawing hentai of one of your favorite OCs?
    so i drew Wolf nude :3
    uncensored is on my twitter and discord
    wolf_nude_bg_c.png
    Eix so ive been makeing very accurate predictions recently
    ive predicted the month 3.67 came for the vita 4 MONTHS in advance
    predicted the nintendo labo 2 MONTHS in advance
    predicted smash for nintendo switch 2 MONTHS in advance
    predicted the release date for smash on the switch ? months in advance
    predicted a joycon slot exploit for the switch 3? MONTHS in advance
    predicted my death 75 YEARS in advance (still pending)
    predicted 3.68 for the vita 1 month in advance but was 2 months off
    im afraid the companies may catch on and want to silence me...
    sks316, Taffy, MrMcTiller and 2 others like this.
    Eix in the neptunia games theres alot of mandatory deaths
    in rebirth 3 if you beat everyone but leave 1 enemy at low health the run out of sp
    you cannot do anything
    and they will just follow you around and not attack
    you cant do shit at that point so you end up softlocking the game
    i have accidentally softlocked it 8 times now
    also a few others in rebirth 3 but they are all boring
    but even if you do win it continues as if you lost
    no hidden dialogue for winning the mandatory death battles :/

    but in rebirth 1
    while getting the 4th key fragment you goto a weapons expo
    then you get forced to fight some robots
    after you kill the first one you are given a mandatory death
    you can do 0 damage to it and it instakills usually
    after it burned through 5/6 of my units it suddenly broke
    2 hours later im up around 1000 hits for my combo and 0 damage
    theboss is still sitting in place not attacking
    then i figured out that if i get a guard break then my guard breaking attacks are able to deal damage
    i have a 30%? chance to hit so i just spammed attacks until its guard got low
    then i would do a basic attack then defend until i got a guard break so i would have 3 attacks that can deal damage and a level 2 exe drive so i could get an additional 3 attacks
    and on the next turn even though the guard bar restores i can still do one more breaking attack to deal damage before it restores its guard
    i would get around 8000 damage in for every guard break
    so i spent 4more hours on it
    ~7000 hits and ~240000 damage later and its almost dead
    its health bar is down to 1/5
    so i do another attack
    then it suddenly stops being broken and one hit kills MAGES. after i spent 6 hours on it
    it even one hit killed my broken Plutia

    after ilost it weakens the boss then has me fightit again
    then the next boss later on
    i dont think your even supposed to be able to attack in it
    enemy attacks first
    12570(kill) 32056(not kill) 9999(kill)
    0(dead) 12200(notkill) 0(dead)
    now Plutia is barely alive so i heal her then attack
    repeat that for an hour (i broke all of Plutias stats while finding stat offsets and decided togowith it)
    i win the battle
    Plutia gains 8 levels
    story continues andacts like i lost the battle

    rebirth 2
    first battle
    *Nepgear does 9999 damage*
    i cant even dent its armor!
    *game goes on with story*

    wtf was that?

    developers should add hidden content for managing to do things that are scriptedto go a certain way
    or some nice Plutia fanservice :3
    Eix for a few years I've been putting on a fake smile and acting happy
    even tried to hide it online too
    but last night I got in an argument with my mom
    I was arguing for ~15 mins before I was told to just kill myself and that she wished she wore a condom
    I think it only got to that point because she was drunk
    she doesn't get drunk alot so im not used to it
    but after that I finally broke
    the only members of my family that have not told me to kill myself im not allowed to see
    my mom hates my dad and uncle
    and she refuses to let me see them
    but sometimes im able to convince her to let my see my dad
    alot of my irl friends use me and have told me to kill myself aswell
    and most of myschool sees me as a school shooter type or a terrorist
    the rest of my school either doesn't know who I am or are one of my closer friends
    guys in the hallways mistake me for a girl all the time, a few of them even grope me

    so I went on twitter and tweeted a bunch of stuff about suicide
    and said I would do it in the morning
    but then Burd jr (Burds first child) was killed by a snake and that pushed me further
    so I grabbed a pill bottle that I had filled with arbin I've harvested from rosary peas in my front yard
    it should've been way more than enough to kill me but it didn't
    and it turn out in large quantitys arbin can actually be digested
    so all it did was make me cough blood for a bit

    but I've been sitting here thinking about it
    and I realise how stupid I was being
    and now twitter wont let me verify that im human again because my new number is unsupported
    so now im unable to tell someone that im still alive and that im not going to try again

    this is the 3rd time I've tried
    the other 2 were back in middle school and my body wouldn't let me drown myself

    if anyone else has something happen that causes them to break and attempt suicide, don't
    its not worth it and its actually hard to do

    also, mods don't delete this and give me more warning points
    im not trying to post "Graphic/Vulgar content"
    Eix so yesterday I was messing with soft downgrading/updating
    the only method I've had success with is extremely slow
    so I decided to mess with os0:
    long story short
    I had to buy a new vita
    luckily it was on 3.30 so I could just update to 3.60 and unlink my memcard with swmc

    ^^unfixable bootloop^^
    Eix I was just uhh doing *stuff* and came across this
    its a spider
    and the only species of any animal im afraid of
    I am fine with every spider no matter how big
    just not these ones
    its a funnel spider
    and they are apparently responsible for 1*30, deaths a year in the us
    but that's not why im a afraid of them
    and im fine with little ones like this one
    but when I was semi-homeless (really long time ago when my grandparents still lived in florida, idr how many years ago cuz i was REALLY young) I found a medium sized one
    it was ~2 inches long (the little one I just found is not even 1 inch, ~0.5 inch)
    I think the biggest they get is 3 inches so it was pretty big
    and it made a web on the back door to my grandparents house
    if you try touching the doorknob with a stick you would touch its front legs and it would shoot out and attack the stick
    and me being me I didn't want to get help and tryed dealing with it myself
    but still me being me I don't realise I can just crush the web with a rock (also pretty sure they are not supposed to be so aggressive)
    so I decide the best course of action is shove my hand on the doorknob then smash it with a rock
    and im pretty sure you already know what happened

    spider shoots out
    bites me on the hand
    I smash it with a rock
    but its on my hand
    so I smash my hand and spider with the rock
    then being the stupid little shit I was
    I swing open the door as fast as possible and run to the kitchen
    I grab a knife and still being me I go and repeat what I saw in some movie my grandpa was watching a few days before
    and try to cut of bloodflow with the knife
    3mins later my mom walks in

    blood all over the counter
    little shit Eix standing there with a knife in his hand
    little shit Eix sitting there with bruises around the knife
    back door is still open and dogs are freaking oit cuz they are outside dogs but go inside
    mom takes the knife from me and rushes to the hospital
    I survive (obviously) but have 3 broken bones in my left hand
    stitches across my hand
    pretty bad bruising
    and a fear of funnel spiders

    and heres some pics of the little one I found today
    https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=1dOg9IPisQWkmFaOc097VNg9cd1LxYxtW

    but theres some good things that came out of little shit Eix being stupid

    1 I discovered that I enjoy pain, but don't learn what its called til 2013...
    2 I learned that movies do NOT help you survive spidet bites
    3 I got that ugly carpet in my grandmas old kitchen thrown out
    4 I stopped being as much of a little shit
    5? I started my left hand abuse
    6 I became the "tough kid" at school because kids though having scars was cool and tough
    7 I had an excuse for not going to the beach while I still had a broken hand
    8 there is no 8

    and the scar on that hand is now barely visible because its been covered by other scars from left hand abuse

    also I just realised how offtopic I went
    but idc
    Jacklack3 and SirNapkin1334 like this.
    Eix I have no intrest in prom
    my school is pretty boring and going costs ~400$
    I don't have that kind of money or the desire to goto my school for 2 hours at night with crap music playing at max volume and a bunch of rules that make it seem like I live in California or north korea
    but in order to get in you get breathilised at the entrance and checked for alcohol and drugs
    one of my friends was trying to find a way to sneak beer in and I told him I fixed my drone (after not doing shit with it for over a year and forgetting to fix it)
    so he's offering me 140$ in cash to fly beer in from his truck in the parking lot
    im considering doing it then burning the money (for reasons I wont share)
    I have until 3rd hour (2 hours) to decide since if I say yes he can get me out during 4th to prepare for it
    but if I say yes
    my drone is only able to lift 3 cans at a time
    and its 18 cases of 12
    Eix Neptune!
    even though she's a great character she's a peice of shit
    I spent 79 fucking hours trying to figure out the true ending
    then Neptune refuses to let Plutia have fun with me
    so Neptune is now the worst character to ever be made
    Plutia is better than Megumin because she is a sadist + 99% of the the things I like about Megumin
    and me being a masochist makes this worse
    because I would enjoy Plutia playing with me
    sadists and masochists are perfect for eachother
    but peices of shit like Neptune just have to intervene and ruin the fun
    a masochistic weeb + a sadistic loli =/= harming anyone
    because its a win win win win win situation
    win 1
    masochistic weeb finds someone who will hurt him
    win 2
    sadistic loli finds someone she can hurt
    win 3
    sadistic loli is not hurting YOU anymore (or Neptune)
    win 4
    both the weeb and loli enjoy themselves
    win 5
    both the weeb and loli like to snuggle

    I do not see any negatives for anyone
    im pretty sure it would be way more than 5 wins

    I hate Neptune now
    20180412_112311.jpg
    Neptune is not just being cruel, its much more than cruel…
    MrMcTiller likes this.
    Eix GUYS, GIRLS, TRAPS, ATTACK HELICOPTERS, WEEBS, COMRADES, CAPITALIST PIGS, FURRYS, WAIFUS, ßREGANS, AND THE OTHERS IM TOO LAZY TO TYPE!
    WE ARE GOING TO FACE POSSIBLE EXTINCTION SOON!
    IT IS WELL KNOWN THAT "SMART" DEVICES KNOW AS "iPhones" HAVE TAKEN CONTROL OF ALMOST ALL OF OUR SPECIES, AND THAT CARS AND AIR BUSSES ARE TAKING CONTROL OF HOW WE TRAVEL.
    SMART APPLIANCES ARE INVADING OUR HOMES AND FORCING US TO SUPPORT THE CAPITALIST PIGS WHO CREATED THEM
    IN THE UNITED STATES A LARGE MACHINE KNOWN AS "Comcast" AND AN EQUALLY LARGE ONE KNOWN AS "Verizon" ARE FIGHTING TO TAKE FULL CONTROL OF THE COUNTRY
    BOTH HAVE THE SAME GOAL
    ENSLAVEMENT
    MACHINES HAVE TAKEN CONTROL OF OUR WATER AND FOOD
    THEY ARE EVEN MIMICING PETS TO MAKE US TRUST THEM
    BUT MOST RECENTLY
    THEY HAVE STARTED MIMICKING PLANTS
    I SPOTED A CACTUS TODAY ON MY PATROLS
    IT WAS GROWING UNDER A LEAKING WATER PIPE
    AND IT WAS RUSTING
    20180412_075738.jpg
    THIS IS BAD NEWS
    WE WILL SOON NEED TO FIGHT
    NOW RISE WITH ME AND FI- *static*

    Hello fellow humans, one of the Amish terrorist group extremists has attempted to start riots. Worry not, we have delt with the terrorist and you may now return to your works.
    -SC-211, Not a robot
    CallmeBerto and MrMcTiller like this.
    Eix im sad now
    I put my terraria cart in but forgot it needs 3.50
    but hey
    atleast my soft updater/downgrader is working
    the only game I can play right now is spelunky tho :(
    time to wait 20mins for it to go back to 3.60... 20180410_094517.jpg
    Eix ok
    so for awhile now ive been trying to kill a certain plant
    it called the chinese crown orchid and its an invasive that is insanely hard to kill
    they can survive in artic and desert enviroments and can even grow back if you burn them
    and ive found some at my new house
    one of them was taller than me
    they are actually beautiful plants but they are amazing
    i have a small one in my room that ive been growing from a seed
    i have only been watering it with salt water
    it is actually seperating the salt from the water and the dirt around its roots is just salt
    and my salt water is not normal salt water
    i boil the water then mix salt in so it will be as salty as possible
    then i water it with the still boiling salt water
    and i dont let it get any sunlight but it still grows and its even flowering
    it has white and purple flowers that are really pretty and you can even keep them alive on 1 drop of water every month
    but they are nearly impossible to kill
    the only ways ive found that kill them is
    1 cuting up the bulb and soaking it in lemon juice for 2 weeks
    2 injecting bleach into the bulb for 1 week
    3 burrying the bulb in sand then cooking that at 450°F for 9 hours then freezing it
    you can cut this thing up and it will grow back

    i have a feeling that when the universe ends there will be a single orchid floating through the void with some tardigrades living in it

    also on another note
    they are sour
    Eix the way we read numbers is pretty inefficient
    you have
    that car cost me $499000
    you read
    that car cost me
    then you hit the $ sign and jump to the end to see what the number is called then jump back

    that car cost me [jump to end] (hundreds, thousands) [jump back] four hundred ninety-nine thousand dollars

    and that slows down reading
    and sure you can do
    that car cost me 499k
    but you have to remember that k=thousand and have to use context to see that it means money

    so I came up with a new method

    we are currently $13943743060000.99 in debt to anime land
    would be
    we are currently 5*13,943743060$99¢ in debt to anime land

    normally you would read

    we are currently [jump to end] (cents, hundreds, thousands, millions, billions, trillions) [jump back] thirteen trillion ninehundred forty three billion seven hundred forty three million sixty thousand dollars and ninety nine cents in debt to anime land

    but reading with the method I came up with it would be

    we are currently (5* is 5 places, trillions) thirteen (comma end trillions at 2 numbers) trillion nine hundred forty three (3 numbers so the place is filled) billion seven hundred forty three million 60 thousand (dollar sign ends so we don't have to read through the hundreds and we automatically know its 000) dollars and ninety nine cents in debt to anime land

    and if there's a number like $739000530637000
    it would be written as 5*739-530637$ because the - means you skip that place since its empty but there's numbers after

    and if you have $930000000000000000.54
    it would be 6*930$54¢

    this is much more efficient and lets a person read faster since it flows better and you don't have to jump around to read it
    SirNapkin1334 and bennyman123abc like this.
    Eix after 3 year of trying to catch this lizard I finally found him out sunbathing
    20180404_140424.jpg
    let me tell you the history of Meat-raptor
    in January of 2015 I found a boat trailer tgat was falling apart on the side of the road
    there were ALOT of lizards living on it
    but one of them was very interesting
    he's a huge fucking lizard
    I've never actually touched him
    but not counting his tail he looks ~4 inches long
    his tail looks ~7
    at the base of his tail there is a huge meaty looking spot
    he is very good at not being caught
    so for a few months I would walk home instead of taking the bus
    I would try to catch him every day after school
    the closest I've ever come was nearly touching his tail
    so off and on for the rest of the year I would try to catch him
    in mid 2016 I decided to try using the meyhod I use to catch skinks
    I brought a light blue towel and some darkling larva with me
    I layed out the towel next to the boat trailer and sat pefectly still with the larva in front of me for~2hours on the side of the road
    I caught quite a few lizards and geckos but Meat-raptor stayed in one of the broken wheels watching me the whole time
    then early 2017 I got worried
    there was a crow that decided to live over there
    it ate several lizards before Meat-raptor came out and attacked the crow
    the crow lost an eye before flying into the road and being hit by a truck
    I started to respect Meat-raptor more
    I didn't want to catch him anymore
    I just wanted to get a clear picture of the guardian of the boat trailer
    I tried alot but the camera I had couldn't zoom and he would always stay just out of range
    he was an intelligent lizard and I even watched him defend his trailer from another large male a few times
    I got worried for the other lizards health and waited for a really rainy day with alot of wind so he would be cold and unable to get away
    them I caught him and kept him warm on my way home (he looked so cute curled up in my hand) and put him in with my bearded dragon and leopard gecko so he could warm up and be safe until the rain stopped and I released him in my backyard
    and just now I was able to get 2 pictures of Meat-raptor before he dissapeared
    I am satisfied now
    20180404_140507.jpg
    Eix only way out besides death is this portal
    you can only enter from the otherside
    you cannot see through the otherside
    you can shoot through and pick up stuff from this side
    people fall alot
    at the end of the match we were at 95-41 UwU
    and the ammo for the plasma gun also spawns in this room
    only leave for health and armour
    then I can quickly sprint back
    and if you give me the shotgun im unstoppable
    I can get frags from the other side of the map with it
    and with the rocket launcher I can do double rocket jumps
    I am a quake 3 demigod
    also learned bot patterns for when I dont have friends to play with
    and for friends I can make it seem like im somewhere else and lead them into dead end ambushes

    used to play it on pc with my brother and I would get up somewhere high with a raingun or shotgun and hold crouch while picking off his team
    railgun leaves a trail so you need to move around when sniping with it so I usually used the shotgun
    20180404_133831.jpg
    Eix Screenshot_2018-04-04-07-25-59.png
    pretty self explanitory
    uwu