Welcome to the personal blog of cwstjdenobs

  • cwstjdenobs

    So I have started going proper deaf

    My hearings never being cracking, though selective. I don't know exactly what the problem is but I do know it was a birth defect, and caused probably by a combination of being prem and having bad genes. I do know hearing aids won't help. I've always had, erm... difficulties I guess is the right word, with sounds mainly around the human vocal range. But with a lot of training and a bit of concentration I learned to get by and speak and listen to people in such a way I sort of forgot, and others never really realised, I had a problem at all. I only had to bring it up when new people/friends tried to get my attention when I couldn't see them.

    I know I should have expected this but things are getting worse, and I've had the tests to prove it now so can't ignore it any longer. And I should have noticed it happening over the last year or two. I stopped asking people to repeat themselves because it became utterly pointless. Stopped going places that play music, to the cinema, theatre, gigs, stopped getting together and doing some harmless gossiping with the neighbours (yes seriously harmless, I live that sort of place), meeting anywhere outside of someone's home, getting together with anyone in a group larger 5, larger than 3, larger than 2 other people... just because it's getting so pointless to even bother trying.

    And I can't bring myself to tell anyone, I've stopped talking to most my friends and family, definitely driven away for good most of the ones who've being continuously trying to work out what's wrong with me and keep me going. And there's someone I'm totally taking advantage off basically because I'm expecting to have to resign the rest of my life to nothing but the intertubes, games and books for company. I'm turning into someone I can't stand and I'm fucking terrified beyond belief.

    And the ultimate proof of my complete cowardice. I have to pour this all out over a fucking forum, behind a mask of anonymity while being perfectly aware it's not really that bad a fucking problem to begin with when you get down to it.
  • cwstjdenobs

    To old GL or not to old GL

    Still working on the space trading sim and have finally got around to writing the basics of the 3D graphics engine. But there's one thing I can't decide on. Whether I should support legacy GL for older GPU's? Now apart from the extra work it really has only 1 downside, it will look really shitty compared to the Gl 3.3+ version. I also don't know if people would want the option. But if people would it would be easier to start adding it in now than later.
  • cwstjdenobs

    So I need to stop my transformation into a complete &£%

    And I'm thinking something else to do with my free time might help. So I'm going to do something I haven't done in a long long time, but have being talking about for just as long, and have a serious attempt at making a game.

    So I like space trading games, so that's what I think I'll have a go at. About the only things I've decided on so far are:-

    1. It will be open source.
    2. The universe will be (mainly) procedurally generated.
    3. The ships won't move like planes. They'll move like space ships.*
    4. Single player and online multi player modes.

    And that I'm going to start developing this using OpenGL and SDL on the PC (Linux, Windows, and Mac).

    So apart from that I'm pretty much open to suggestions, so if you'd be at all interested let us know what you'd like. And while I really want to hear from everyone who is at all interested, if you don't normally like this sort of game your views are especially welcome.


    *unless things move onto the stage where it has atmospheric flight. Hopefully they will.