Chary's blog
I talk about life, sometimes. Be it serious things, or me poking fun at events in my life.
Color
Background color
Background image
Font Type
Font Size
    Chary So, to preface, my father is a 65 year old Persian man, who doesn't really have a concept of anything past the 1990s. He doesn't understand credit cards, he cannot make a call with a cellular nor smart phone, and he thinks Amazon makes every computer ever. The most experience he has with tech is playing poker on a tablet. And he doesn't know how to get rid of the micro-transaction popups, so he gives up when those happen.

    So of course he'd be the prime person to use Facebook. Wait what?

    He walked into my room today, acting very nervous, and asked me, quietly, "'Chary'...What is a, I may say this wrong...eh...Face Book?" I told him it's a site where people post about their life, basically, and share pictures. He was confused, but he tried to accept it. After all, he still thinks to share a picture, you have to go to a place to get film developed and printed. But he'd heard from a friend of his that people can "talk" to each other, without phone numbers. He had to know what kind of magic allowed something that wild and new.

    When I told him that you can indeed talk to people by using "something sorta like a typewriter, yeah", he excitedly asked me to make an account for him. He wanted to talk to his sisters in Iran, and catch up with them. So as I'm getting one of my alt emails for an account, he asks me, "Do they need my address? I bet I have to give them my address, right? Will I break your mom's Facebook if I make one!?" then he starts to worry. I'm trying my best to hide my laughter, and I tell him it's okay, he doesn't need to worry. Then, he pulls out a ten dollar bill, and tells me to "Pay for a Face Book this way". I just lose it at this point and burst out laughing. First of all, he thought he needed to pay for Facebook. Second, he thought he thought I could send the money in the mail for it. That's too funny.

    Once I finalize his account, he gets all excited. I try to teach him how to use the laptop, telling him to click on the search bar, and type in who he wants to find. He doesn't understand what a click is. Agonizingly, I teach him from step 1 how to use this new and wondrous technology. He still can't get it. So I give up and type his sister's name in, and find her profile, and friend it. Dad doesn't seem to fully understand anything that's going on, but he seems to grasp that now he can talk with his sister. He dictates a message, which I type, and I send it.

    Finally finished, I go sit down and play some games and write. He continually calls me back into the living room, for different issues. He accidentally hit the windows key, so he thinks he broke the computer. Go back, sit down. Get called back, because he doesn't understand why his brother "liked" his message. What is a like!? Get called back to solve the mysterious issue of him clicking this weird thing called Google. Go back, sit down, grab my controller... and get called back, because he's sad. Why is he sad? He clicked an ad that told him he could get free things by clicking it. Cue an eye twitch. Install Adblock. Go back to my room.

    Then finally, once last time, he asks me how to find more people to talk to. I tell him to type what he wants to find, in the facebook search. So I watch him stare at the screen, and one by one, type in letters. I glance back up at the screen to see "nice people" typed into the facebook bar. I don't know whether to "d'awww" or die from laughter.

    My dad might not know much about computers, but he's learning, and in quite possibly the funniest way possible.
    Chary I've been awake for goodness knows how long. I spent 4 hours helping my uncle label the circuit breaker to his house, in 90F heat, without A/C. I didn't sleep at all last night. So maybe my writing sounds insane. I feel insane.

    After getting back home, I decide to maybe lay down and finally sleep. I get about 20 minutes of sleep before my mom gets home from work and wakes me up, bringing with her 5 crates of bottled tea. This is not normal, but my brain is too tired to question this discovery. Still slightly out of it, my dad tells me to go walk the dog with him. I stumble out, following along, to where he proceeds to randomly cross a busy street for no reason with the dog, to which I'm starting to wake up, and realize that is not normal either. My dad out of nowhere drops the dog's leash, and the dog takes off in an excited bout of freedom, knowing no one holds the leash anymore. As I frantically chase after my dog, running over asphalt, I make the realization that my father is ridiculously drunk and slurring his speech, and that I've forgotten to put shoes on.

    I catch the dog, and walk him back home, waiting for my father to catch up, where he asks me why I let the dog run around freely like that. Before I can even make a confused retort, I hear my mom asking me where I got the fried chicken. What? ...Fried chicken...what?

    I see a white, plain box, with no markings. In it, is fried chicken. There is an unmarked unknown unexplained box of fried chicken on my kitchen counter.

    I have multiple questions.

    My father, grinning like a madman, joyously tells me, "Ah, my daughter, I shall lie to you and explain chicken". In the time I had been asleep, he had found a 5 dollar bill, and purchased a lotto ticket with it, winning 40 dollars. Excited by this victory, he decided to buy fried chicken, as most people in this situation obviously would. But without a car, or knowledge of how a computer works, how would he acquire such precious chicken?

    Clearly, the answer would be to walk back to the store he bought the lottery from, and beg the cashier to order chicken for him.

    Because that's what he did. In exchange for cash, the manager of the gas station ordered delivery fried chicken. So a courier brought fried chicken to a gas station, which my dad took, used the rest of the money on beer to celebrate, and brought it back home. All in the span of 20 or so minutes.

    That is why there is fried chicken on my kitchen counter. Suspicious looking fried chicken in an unmarked plain box that was won through randomly found money that in turn was used to buy a lotto, which then won money, which then was spent on ordering chicken to a gas station, which was brought home, and is now being eaten.

    I do not understand.
    Chary so here it is!!
    Chary I'm sitting in an uber, on my way to a hotel. Specifically, the hotel that I've been checked into since around September--the time of the flood. In the coming few days, the free government provided hotel will expire, and the last remaining matter of the hurricane will finally be settled. I've since moved out of the hotel, my car has been fixed, beds and appliances have been purchased, and everything is finally "normal" again.

    What makes me so melancholic and reflective, is that I saw a picture of my old house, before the storm, before the destruction, and it made me think--so much has changed throughout 2017. So, so much.

    In January--this time last year--everything was great. I was preparing to go to college in the fall, I was trying to improve my writing skills, and I had a confident and excited view of the future.

    In February, my cat had kittens, and I had gotten attached to the cute little fluffy baby cats. When the litter began to weaken, and slowly die, I took it upon myself to bike a kitten in a backpack to a vet, in hopes of saving it. It was a vain and naive attempt at trying to preserve life. The kittens were unviable from birth, and so the last baby kitty died in my lap, as I cried over the whole tragedy of it all.

    March and April picked up a bit, in terms of happiness. For the most part, I just played lots of video games, studied, and read books. I learned about tons of things, and I even started to get back into some old hobbies, like drawing!

    May was the best month of the year for me. I met my boyfriend, I cut ties with toxic people, I gained a lot of confidence, and I was happy. Everything was on an upswing! I started trying to reach out to other GBAtemp users and make new friends, I had tons of ideas and plans for what I wanted to do for the year, and life was exciting!

    June was nearly just as amazing. I got to go to E3 again, and while it was way more overwhelming this year, I also had so much fun! There's nothing comparable to how impressive of an event it is, and how happy I was to be offered another chance to go to E3. I had new experiences, stepped outside of my comfort zone, and the world felt so full of possibilities and excitement!

    Which is a bit of a shame, seeing as July was an unholy nightmare month. Four of my cats died suddenly and without warning, all on the same day. The vet couldn't find a cause for it, there was no explaination, and it was haunting. Having to watch all that was one of the worst things I've ever dealt with in my life, being helpless, watching your beloved pets die, the look in their eyes. I had two cats live through it, by virtue of having to inject them for a week with a huge needle of fluid, but they lived. I was relieved at that fact, at the very least.

    August, of course, took one look at July, and told it, "You think that's bad? Hold my beer." The first half of the month was me slowly getting over last month's trauma. The second half was pure insanity. Hurricane Harvey destroyed my home, along with most of my possessions in the span of a night, leaving me homeless and scared. Once the terror of spending hours calling the coast guard and police, sitting on a table that was starting to float around the living room wore off, wondering if the then shoulder-high water would drown me, I felt blank. Everything felt surreal and dreamlike. I sat on the cold tile floor of a school cafeteria, looking out a window, watching my house continue to fill with water throughout the night.

    I was snapped out of it, however, when I saw the reaction on GBAtemp. So many people praying, sending well-wishes, asking if I was okay, donating, just so much outpouring of support. It was nothing short of amazing, and to this day, I'm still eternally humbled and grateful and so lucky to have had that.

    September and October were a blur. There was fear about if insurance would cover the cost to repair my car, there was the worry about where we'd live, and trying to make life "normal" again.

    By November, things had settled, and though there were quirks and a lot of new things to have to learn to deal with, I got used to the change and happily began to move on from the flood. I wasn't constantly revolving around that one moment, I was finally free to start walking forward.

    December was a wonderful month. I wasn't really active online throughout most of it, but I spent time with loved ones and relaxed, celebrated my 21st birthday, and realized just how much I've changed in 2017. So much is different than it was the year prior. I never want to be defined by the flood and hurricane, and that event was horrible and I'd never want to live through it again, but I feel like thanks to the support I had, I've moved past all of that and gotten through as a stronger, better person for it. I'll never be able to thank everyone enough, for everything.

    As I move forward into 2018, I hope that I'll continue growing as a person and improving myself. Life may be crazy, but I'll keep moving forward, no matter what!

    I appreciate anyone who read through this blog. In retrospect, it's a useless string of words I rambled while bored in a car. To celebrate your making it to the end, I have a cute picture of my cat for you! Hooray!

    IMG_6184.JPG
    Chary I'm not one for making blogs a common thing, especially already having done one yesterday, but I felt since this has some big stuff, I'd like to just write it out here.

    Today, I got my car back! "Again?" You say? Well, it had initially been fixed a week and a half ago, and given back to me after insurance paid for it to be repaired. But there were still issues with it, and it broke down right off the lot. Today though, it's been fully repaired and runs just as it used to! Woohoo! They even fixed the USB ports in the cup holder part! The water was up past the ignition, and I'm stunned that the mechanics were able to fix it. Good on them!

    IMG_4980.JPG
    Pretty pretty car!

    And, not only that, but the pipes in my new house were finally fixed! It's live in ready, and all I need to do is set up the water utilities and get some internet again! Heck yeah! I'll have to take pictures once I've got some furniture and it's all decked out :D

    I'm super psyched to get back into posting news and reviews and everything, really! Crazy stuff keeps happening through all this, but it's hard not to be happy, lately! Things are definitely looking up more and more with each passing day!

    Thanks for reading, and thanks everyone, again, for your kindness and generosity!
    Chary Okay, okay not main Amazon, but I think I seriously impacted their two hour delivery service.

    Starting about...in July, my boyfriend and I were at a hotel. And of course, I realized, hey, Amazon delivers to hotels, let's get some food deliveries. And then I saw, "Get 10 dollars off your first order". So I put in the code, and got a New York Strip steak and 3 sides, fully cooked from a restaurant and delivered to the hotel lobby in an hour, for less than 10 bucks. Cha-ching! $$$

    The following few days, I made more Prime accounts, to abuse the discount coupon. Because Amazon can blacklist public addresses after trial abuse, but not public areas like hotels. Not my proudest moment, but in the face of delicious steak, who am I to hold onto morals? 5 email accounts and 5 delicious steaks with baked potatoes later, I decided, okay, that's enough messing with Amazon.

    Then of course, as you know, the flood happened.

    Which, of course, means I've been living in a hotel...and you know what THAT meaaaaans...

    The first day, I only got some bottled water and cleaning supplies. The next day, I got my parents some groceries. Afterwards...Amazon seemed to notice. As I placed another order for the day, I got an email telling me that Amazon's 2 hour delivery policy would be changing. Okay, that's coincidental, I thought. I don't need any more orders anyways, I told myself.

    And then they lowered the order minimum to 10 dollars, and kept the 10 dollar off coupon active.

    Fancy teas, a broom, a notebook, a mop---tons of home essentials for the new house, bulk orders of canned food and water, a microphone, MORE FANCY TEAS. Every order clocked in at less than 3 bucks, and it was absolutely beautiful and disgusting with how much Amazon was letting me get away with. Of course, I only used the coupon on smaller items--if you tried to get 10$ off something over 15 dollars (that wasn't from a restaurant), you'd get a hefty delivery fee slapped on it. But small things in bulk lined my hotel room, and I gleefully laughed with my copious amounts of email accounts and prime trials.

    Cue today, in which my parents have given me a bunch of stuff to order for the new house. Excitedly, I log on, make a few orders again, and then, I see, Amazon has removed the coupon permanently. Forever gone is the amazing Prime trial shenanigans that I enjoyed. But it was amazing while it lasted! I almost feel as if Amazon saw the madness and got rid of the coupons and kept changing their policy purely because of me! But it could all just be a crazy coincidence!

    I needed to just document this via a blog, because I'm looking at the absolute hoard of water and the broom, and the mop, and the stacks of white chocolate and tea, and tuna, and laughing my head off at what I got away with. Bless Amazon and their trials. You will forever be remembered fondly.
    Chary So, coming off the great year that was 2016, I was totally hyped and ready for what 2017 had in store...or so I thought. It only took a month before 2017 decided to kick me right in the face. And after losing those kittens, a close friend backstabbed me which forced me to remove them from my life, and then some no-lifer wannabe hacker dudebro decided to try and convince people I'm some sorta bigot, (lul?) and after that, my cats died again, right before a hurricane that fricken ruined all my everything. And now I gotta defer my college scholarship, cuz I'm living in a hotel since my house is gone, only to get through that nightmare for my aunt to die of a heart attack. So, 2017, I commend you, for going balls-to-the-walls in a massive attempt to make me go crazy.

    I might be down, but I am not out! While some parts of 2017 have been horrible, there's still been a lot of amazing moments as well. I, again, got to have the fantastic opportunity to attend E3 for GBAtemp, built my first gaming PC, stumbled into meeting my awesome boyfriend, made tons of really good friends on this site, really got into twitch streaming for GBAtemp with my friends, and most recently, got to experience the generosity of the best darn web community I've ever seen. From the heartwarming donations, to the kind words, you guys on GBAtemp really went above and beyond. I feel so blessed to be a part of this site, and it's amazing members. So I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone, for all that they've done for me. I can hardly express how grateful I am, and how much this has touched my heart. Through the ups and downs that the rest of this year will bring me, I can always remember this and feel happy again.

    Thanks <3
    Chary sweet merciful crispy fried steak, it's 102F outside. God bless the person who created central cooling.

    Through all the memes and jokes and trash posts, I have to admit, I really like the blog section. Though it's not really up to par with how it used to be way back when, I like to just mindlessly comment on stuff and blather on in my own little section. It's soothing, in a way. So hopefully none of my followers mind when they see the little red alert notification for this. I just wanted to take a moment for myself, and parse it all out.

    Earlier this year, I mentioned that I had two baby kittens that died, due to fatal illnesses that they were born with. Though they were young kittens, their deaths hit me hard. But that couldn't even possibly measure up to what happened last month. Four of my cats dropped dead out of the blue. I came home one day, to see a small fluffy unmoving body, rigid, dead. I recoiled in horror, only to watch another cat behind me vomit blood, and weakly fall over, desperately meowing in pain. Another cat, my father's, knew enough to not make a spectacle of it, and died quietly, behind the washing machine. Lastly, I watched, agonized, and sobbed, over my favorite cat, the one that I had taught to open doorknobs so he could venture into my room when he felt lonely, raised with a bottle because he'd shown up on my doorstep as a baby kitten, and spent countless hours with, as he watched television, entranced as I play video games, because the flashy movements on screen captured his attention more than any tuna fish could. I put my heart and soul into that cat, and as he lay dying in my lap, I could do nothing but watch as he purred one last time, and passed on. He was too far gone to save.

    With his littermate being the lone survivor, I pleaded, begged and sobbed to a vet to save her. I slammed every dollar in my savings on the table, demanding that something, anything, a miracle, could exist so that this cat could live. The veterinarians there looked at me in pity and confusion. There was no documented illness on file that matched up to what this cat had. "Perhaps poison...?", I was told. Able to do nothing but nod blindly, I could not rack my brain to find a cause for this tragedy. I don't know why this happens. Perhaps I'm not fated to own cats? As even my dog began to look lethargic and weak, the only common link was the food they ate. I threw the heavy, near full sack of cat chow into the trash, enraged. To get irrefutable proof, I would need to send both tissue sample in from my cat, and from the likely tainted food, an endeavor that would cost hundreds to achieve. But even if that were possible, I still had a cat to take care of.

    The vet had shrugged and offered me a bag of saline solution, and an intimidating needle, telling me to inject the cat every few hours. My parents didn't have the strength to do so. On my own, I held down a suffering cat, and jammed a needle, barely mentally able enough to break skin, with shaky hands. Both me and the cat cried out, as I injected the IV. She lived, out of all of the others, she lived. She sits in my lap as I write this. A few days later, I would be sent to Oregon for a vacation with my family. My grieving time was barely a few days.

    I only just now, after finally being back home, not busy running around doing other things, feel that I am able to process these events. Every day, I still open my door, and expect that cat to greet me. I try to cry, but I've long since run out of tears. Deep within my heart, I can feel slight resentment to my parents, who only chastised me when I brought up the idea of a vet. My mother didn't want to drive to a vet at 11pm, nor deal with the drama it entailed. The cat who died in my arms was likely too ill to be saved, but I run through "what ifs", wondering, idealizing, that maybe, just maybe, he had a chance.

    The pain of loss is a heavy one. Though I know now, that I'm moving on, healing, the scars will stay with me. Forever. Do I want another cat, to pour my heart into, all over again? Or am I looking for a replacement that will fill an empty void? The one survivor cat is good, kind, but I look at her, and wish that it was another cat that lived instead.

    Typing this all out, after a month of desperately burying this emotion, finally feels like I can accept the events that occurred. My path in life continues on, with so many new events and happiness out there waiting for me. I will always clutch to the fond memories I have of that cat, who was always by my side, when I was a lonely teenager. His passing feels like an end of an era. I now have friends that I value, opportunities to look forward to, a relationship that I treasure, and ideas that I now have time to dedicate towards. I've grown so much as a person, through those years I had that little fluffball. I can only hope, that maybe, just maybe, he's up in heaven, with the other cats that died, all of them having an amazing time, with no pain or suffering.

    I initially started this blog with a grumpy tirade of Comcast's bad business practices, of how I'm grateful to the members of this community, and my excitement for writing, and streaming for GBAtemp. Instead, the above words are where my mind travelled to. To those that actually read this, well, hey, thanks. To those that don't, well, hey, hopefully you're reading a blog much happier in tone than this one turned out to be.

    IMG_3679.jpg

    IMG_3681.jpg
    Chary I mean, why not. Everyone else is blogmemeing. Buncha people are gonna gets alerts for this blog, aren't they? ;O; Whoops, oh well! So, GBAtemp people, comment away!
    Chary So yeah, blogs. I don't really use them commonly. But I do like writing, obviously, and I think this is one of those moments where I think enough stuff has happened as of late to warrant me just taking some time to just sit down and parse it all out. That way, I can look back a year later and cringe! That's the point of blogs, right?!

    So where was I in life last time I did this? College prep and kittens...right? Things have been pretty wild since then! After my kitten passed, I actually developed a huge case of insomnia...I had, and I still have trouble sleeping. Sometimes I feel so tired, that I don't really have motivation to do anything. Other times, I would feel pumped up enough to read through multiple books in a day without stopping. It was tiring, mentally, not physically. I tried every trick in the book to sleep, but nothing was successful. Anyways, I can at least sleep for a few hours these days, so that's nice. But sometimes I just feel worn out.

    I had a pretty bad bout with some self confidence issues lately, too. I was feeling pretty down about myself, just for some things, that in the end, were immaterial. But I still couldn't help but feel like I was getting crushed by all these things stacking up onto my head, or just falling and not being able to reach out.

    Then placement exams came and hit me upside the head. And as I've said before, I was never the best student in recent times. But the time I've taken off to study and prepare paid off. All those years of skipping high school and another year consisting of me taking time off to find a career kinda hit my book smarts, a bit, I suppose. Not to say that I'm not intelligent, just that I wasn't really in a frame to properly throw myself into schoolwork again. And I had been pretty depressed, honestly, during that week, and some time surrounding it. But I picked myself up, and aced the tests, specifically English, which I was happy about! Math was middling per usual, but honestly, I expected worse!

    After that, though, I had to deal with some pretty big changes to my daily life. Which irked me more than anything. Though, I don't regret it at all, now. A bunch of stupid chance coincidences led to me tripping and stumbling my way into being the happiest I've been in a while. This past month has been fantastic. Sometimes you need a slap to the face to realize things, and take a step back, and outside of your comfort zone, and escape from bad things. Of course. that might mean losing things you once thought important, but at the same time, you might realize that those things weren't worth reaching out to in the first place.

    I quit out of my job, too. I couldn't justify the work for the pay, and honestly, I got exactly what I wanted from it, so I'm not sad. Content for a portfolio, and a nice recommendation for the future. So hooray! But now I've got some pretty sizable savings, and with my first two years of college being totally and completely paid for, I'm wondering what to do with it. I've found reason to save up for a goal, and the future, but then I notice, "hey, I'd love some nicer headphones." "Woah, look at the Switch!" "Oh man, my back hurts sitting in this chair, I should get an actual good one!" "Holy cow, I've been using this 3 dollar keyboard since 2001, and I'd love a new one!" And other such things.

    Those events lead to me taking that happiness, and running with it. Nothing was going to come from me constantly feeling afraid of myself and the world around me. And thanks, to everyone in that little Discord server I cobbled together! Y'all seriously are great, and have helped cheer me up a lot <3 AND STOP WITH THE BOTS THO, WE'RE BREAKING REALITY. Really though, you're super cool, all of you.

    With regards to games I've played this year, I actually haven't played many new things! Which is a bummer! But I'm playing Utawarerumono and Fire Emblem Echoes, and I'm liking both a lot! Kliff is definitely the most adorable teammate so far! Echoes might top out over Persona 5 for my PERSONA-L goty!!

    Maybe by the time I finally wrap this up, the new episode of the podcast will be up! I'm having fun with recording it with the other staff, and I can't wait to do more episodes. Speaking of things that'll be happening, boy oh boy, it's almost time for E3! I'm so excited to go again! Seriously so thankful to Costello/T-hug/GBAtemp making it possible, and I hope the stuff I post will be good, and that everyone will enjoy it!

    Also can we just take a moment to notice that Polygon is linking to my ban thread? I'm laughing so hard! they called me a "GBAtemp poster"! Yeah, I suppose I do occasionally, MAYBE post on GBAtemp from time to time! Hahaha!

    [​IMG]

    Anyways, thanks for reading this ramble! That is, if you managed to force your way through all the words~! <3
    Chary Side note: Houston Texas is the fourth largest American city, you'd assume they'd have their stuff together and be competent.

    Comcast: lol Internet outage in Houston area

    Me: sigh, fine I can use mobile data today

    AT&T: lol cell tower down, have fun with non functioning cell signals all day in Houston area

    electric company: Hello, we're informing you that we have mistakenly cut a line on your street block. We are sorry you are without power right now.

    Me: huh? Looks up

    Power goes out
    Chary The interwebs is a mess. So is this joke blog.
    Chary So...it's been a week since it all happened. And as of this morning, it's all over. My little kitten died today.

    This is a blog, right? So that's the purpose...to write, and to vent...and I just need to process it all.

    It started, long, long ago, in a far away land. Actually...it was 5 weeks ago, and in the hallway closet. My two cats that I had rescued about a year ago wound up having kittens together. 4 of them, to be exact. One kitten was dead-on-arrival. A horrible sight, but not too unexpected with kittens. Then, the kittens lived in a little box I made for them. I would check on them every day for 5 weeks, and watched their eyes open, and their ears stick up. Occasionally, I would pick them up and pet them for a bit. As all kittens are, they were very, very cute.

    Then, one day, I heard a very upset sounding squeak from outside my room. Rushing to see what was wrong, I found my dog, having broken into their box, with a kitten in his mouth. Terrified, I yelled at the dog to drop it, and, to his credit, he did. The kitten fell with a plop, and scuttled off like nothing happened. Relieved, I thought to myself that that one little cat would definitely need to be watched more than the rest. A typical siamese cat, with deep blue eyes and overly large ears, his name (though not yet in that moment) was Phoenix.

    Five weeks into their existence, I noticed that the runt of the litter, the lightest kitten, named Cuddles, began to look frail. Worried, I bought a pet bottle and some formula for him, and gave it to him. However, it seemed that things would not work out in the end, as the poor little baby cat would be dead the next morning. I will never forget his final moments, him trying to follow his mother, while his body slowly shut down, and me, on the sidelines, horrified, unable to do anything, as Cuddles's back legs gave out, and he kept dragging himself along the floor, trying to reach his mother, who wanted nothing to do with him. I could feel a part of my heart breaking right then and there. I sat with him through the entire ordeal, a whopping 6 hours, until he finally lay down next to me on a pillow, and passed, with a final pained shriek.

    Dazed, I had fallen into a bit of a frightened shock. It was mortifying to watch, to deal with. Luckily, the other two kittens seemed healthy and happy. That wouldn't last long.

    It took one day. And Phoenix had become lethargic, unable to walk, or to eat. Determined, I planned to get to the Pet Hospital, to save this cat. It was my mantra, it was what I was clinging on to, I didn't want to fail him. I was the only one who had a chance to save him. I woke up at 6AM, to whimpers from him. I hadn't slept more than 3 hours that night, and it didn't take me more than 5 minutes to grab the kitten in a sleepy daze, along with my keys, and rush out the door. My father watched incredulously from the window, and none too happy to see his daughter about to go off to the pet hospital, which is, located near a mental ward, the town's busiest street, and a string of confirmed lowlife criminals all living together in an seedy apartment. Stumbling, it hit my over-tired brain that I needed a method of transportation. There was no car, and I couldn't walk all that way, even if I had all the determination in the world.

    The next best choice was to get my bike. But how does one carry a dying baby kitten on a bike? I shoved him into my old backpack, strapped it to my front, and took off, looking like a loon. Young teenage girls howled in laughter as I wobbled past the school on my bike, trying to shove the head of an indignant cat back into the bag, so he wouldn't fall out. Of course, he had been completely lethargic, but now that he needed to stay still? Oh no, he knew he needed to cause more trouble, so at every turn, he'd pop his head out, to look at his surroundings. A school guard watched me go along the sidewalk, and blocked my way, stepping onto the sidewalk so I would have to come to a screeching halt, yelling for me to go back and get to class. However, I was having none of that. Furious, I screamed that, "I don't go to your trashy school!" and hopped the bike into the grass, continuing on my warpath. He yelled something in reply, but I was too focused to pick up on what he said.

    This is where the quaint middle-class part of town suddenly becomes scumville, There's a WM Waste Management plant, a glass crushing facility, and a swamp. Needless to say, the foul chemicals in the air were enough to make even the strongest gag.yyyyyyyyy9 Uh, sorry, my older cat laid on the keyboard, and I thought it fitting to include. In that moment, I regretting not having any water prior, as I felt like I had ventured into a desert. In my tired state, I made the wrong turn, wound up at a dead end, took another wrong turn, as my phone told me to go the longer route for absolutely no reason. Frustrated, I slowed down to catch my breath. Phoenix must have been frustrated too, because he decided he was sick of just watching the horribly ugly scenery, and wanted to explore for himself. He flung himself from the backpack, launching his small kitten self towards certain death. Of course, I reacted without thinking, and I, too, recklessly reached out to catch him. But, as physics teaches us, that's not going to end well when on a 2-wheel device. I tumbled off the bike, onto a dirt road, kitten raised high in my right hand, shielded from damage. The bike kept with its inertia and slid off into the grass, dragging me and my charge along with it. I stared at the sky, in only mild irritation, still too focused with my one-track plan of getting the cat to the vet, as my arm limply fell, allowing the kitten to jump off and explore happily. He twitched his head to the side, looking right into my eyes, as he ran off into the bushes.

    Sometimes you can just tell a cat is going to be unique. That look he gave me in that moment is when I knew for sure.

    As I limped, with an injured leg, smashed by the pedal driving itself right into my ankle, I wondered if the cat really was sick, as he ran in circles, looking overjoyed. But I was nearly there, and I needed to keep going. I stumbled into the vet, looking like I needed a doctor myself. Overwhelmed, I babbled, tearfully, to the attendant in the lobby that I needed someone to help my kitten. Within minutes, two veterinarians were helping my kitten. The verdict? He was very cold, and either had an easily curable cold, or something fatal, and it would only cost me $500 to check. As the info wouldn't even be able to cure him if he did have something deadly, I turned down that particular deal of the century. They shot Phoenix full of electrolyte water, and gave me a pack to inject him with at home, daily. The visit had cost me $200, just to have them say kittens need to be warm when they eat, otherwise the food doesn't process. I thought back to Cuddles, wondering if my efforts were in vain, all because I hadn't known to keep him on a heating blanket.

    Hours passed, and Phoenix looked to be better. I was overjoyed, and hopeful that he would get better. That is where he got his name, after all. He ran around and played, sat with me, and purred, and was just the cutest kitten I'd ever seen. And I've seen a lot of cats. Sometimes, you can see that certain cats just have more personality to them than others. He's one of those special cats, the kind that only come around very rarely.

    It wouldn't last long, though. The next day, he lay comatose, limp, and looking so very ill. I panicked, I was distraught, how could he be dying?! He had gone to the vet! He was running around just an hour ago! I was dragged from the room, crying, and as I hadn't slept in a day, I inevitably passed out. When I awoke the next morning, only about five hours later, I expected to see the kitty gone. But there he was, looking right at me, and he meowed happily. Baffled, yet overjoyed, I thought he would finally make it out of this nightmare illness he had. I spent each day with this cat, feeding him, watching him, helping him, petting him. Every waking hour was spent towards this fluffy bundle of cute, and my constant worrying left little time for sleep, perhaps 3 hours at most a day.

    I honestly couldn't even tell you how many days passed. My sense of time is all thrown off. It feels like years went by, but I know it's only been about a week. My final memories with him, are of him being perfectly healthy, pawing at my headphones, utterly confused by the sound they emitted. And then, of him jumping up from my lap, and pawing at my monitor, as I played Fire Emblem. He was entranced by the colors, and something about it made him want to catch whatever flashed by on screen.

    That was at about 5AM...when I awoke at 9AM...he was gone. I had left him in his little bed, with a nice blanket, and he lay in it, no longer moving, no longer breathing. The kitty that I poured so much love, effort, and joy into had died. And with it, he took a chunk of my heart. It quite honestly hurts to even think about it, and I feel broken over it. According to the vet, he had died of a brain disease, and he shouldn't even have been alive for nearly half the time he was. Phoenix fought so hard to stay alive, to keep going, and I gave my all to help him do that. But nothing could have been done for a condition like that. It's horrible, and it sucks so badly, and I'm just so mad that I couldn't save him. I wanted him to live, to have a full life of happiness, and to see this adorable little unique cat grow up. But things don't always work out, and now I'm here, typing this up. I just needed to tell his story, just to let others know, that Phoenix existed, and he was a very, very special cat.

    If you have a pet that you love, don't take the time with them for granted. Animals don't get a very long time with us on this earth, and it's important to remember that you have to make the most of their life-span. Thanks, uh, for reading all that, if you did. I know a few members here knew about him already, from Majin Cubyan naming him "Cinnabun", to x65 knowing that I liked to call Phoenix crazy little names like Flufflemuffins, and Hugglekins. I'm sure he's in heaven, having fun, playfully jumping out of all the big backpacks in the sky, landing on clouds and enjoying himself without pain.
    Chary ~Personal Details
    Full name: Cha REEEE
    Pronunciation: NOT CHERRY
    Gender: Tumblr
    Species: Human, probably
    Age: 20
    Sexuality: Lion Bars
    Nationality: Half Persian, half PURE AMERICAN FREEDOM
    Religion: Christian
    Place of Birth: In the land of spoken "y'all"s
    Currently living: I should hope I am
    Languages Spoken: English, pathetic/broken french and spanish
    Relationship Status: I'm attracted to posting news

    ~Physical Appearance
    Height: 5'2, enough to need a ladder to even look at people
    Weight: 1,632 ounces
    Figure: Pretty much Taiga Aisaka
    Piercings: I'd rather not make my ears into swiss cheese
    Facial hair: Females sadly cannot grow wizard beards, so no
    Preferred style of clothing: Whatever reflects the inside of my SOOOOOOOOOOOUL

    ~Personality
    Likes: News, Lion Bars
    Dislikes: Writing this blog, Running out of Lion Bars
    Hobbies: news, drawing, baseball, procrastination, eating lion bars
    Music: Alt rock, the sounds of Lion Bars being opened

    ~Skills
    Talents: Can pretend to be a memer, can procrastinate so hard the fabric of the world tears apart, can kill a man in 50 different ways for a single lion bar

    ~Eating Habits
    Lion Bars
    Lion Bars
    Lion Bars
    fsteak
    Lion Bars
    1 Dr. Pepper a month
    Chary I know some of you, others I do not. But a feeling told me that something is going to happen to all of you in February, everyone.

    As we all know, things don't just happen every day, so don't keep us posted.