Welcome to the personal blog of CamulaHikari

  • CamulaHikari

    So it’s been two years...

    So it’s been two years already, and didn’t really know how to deal with my feelings. So I decided to do what a friend recommended to me: I wrote it down.


    Another year has passed, another year without you.
    I still remember all the happy times we shared together.
    How you always called me you little nugget.
    Oh, how I wish I could turn back time.

    The fun times when we would argue about music and sports.
    How you worked till late in the night, just so we could spend the day together.
    But gone are the days when I could just stop by.
    How I wish I could say “I love you” one more time.

    You were always there, no matter what happened.
    I feel so lonely without you.
    Everything makes me think of you.
    There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss you.

    No matter how many years go by, your memory will always be there.
    You were a man that gave love at its best.
    No one can ever take your place.
    Even though you’re not here anymore to hear it.
    I say it one more time… I love you dad.


    After writing it down and talking to my mom, I do feel slightly better. It really does help to talk about your feelings.
    Some people find it hard that my uncle and he died on the same date (two years apart), but I think it's kind of beautiful
    It's a comforting thought to know that they are together.

    I love you both.
    Skelletonike likes this.
  • CamulaHikari

    Study Application

    So about a month ago I applied for the study Art & Technology, GCP (Game Creation and Production)

    Since then it has been some stressful weeks with motivation letters and intake days...
    And today we finally got a letter back, and I was accepted~! HELL YEAH~! *does little happy dance* :hrth:

    I was so nervous after the intake last friday, especially the practical part.
    Even though I was one of the few to be able to work with the program to make a small game with animations :rofl:
    And the second part: to think up your own game to work with that program and a special controller was really fun.
    Especially with my partners~ Eventually it became a cross-over between many existing games, but oh well~

    First time in years that I'm actually looking forward to a school year~! ^_^

    Now to wait for the letter that will explain the intro day and stuff we need~ ^_^
    (And for my own laptop to be fixed D:)
  • CamulaHikari

    Things getting back on track

    So after my mom taking my stuff about two weeks back I finally got everything back. The last few months mom and I occasionaly got into fights and back then she kinda exploded. Since then it has been like a war here in home.

    Yesterday (with the help of our therapist), we found what exactly the reason was (close friends that want to know may ask), and the conclusion was that it was out of our control. We both need to find some help from outside to get everything back on track.

    Also, because we didn’t know what exactly was going on, mom and mostly me, have been having a slight depression. It’s still not completely gone, but I would like to apologize if I hurt people because of that.

    First priority for me is to stop depending on sleep medication. It wasn’t a heavy one or anything, but I did take it regulary, and so it has become harder to sleep without.

    The last two days have also been a great boost the bond between mom and me, since we now know what was going on, we don’t have reasons to argue anymore.

    With most things resolved mom and I have decided (again!), that we’re still going to move to my dad’s house! Hopefully, we’ll move somewhere in June. We’re pretty still pretty busy with that, so people might not always get a hold on me in the weekends.
  • CamulaHikari

    Mario Kart 3DS release date?

    Today I was at my local gameshop and they were allowing pre-orders for Mario Kart 3DS. According to them the EU release date will be September 1st. Now I was curious, anyone else seen releases date for 3DS games that are not confirmed?
  • CamulaHikari

    Dad's Death Anniversary

    Today it has been a year since my dad died. We don't know the exact time he passed away since he was found five days later by my aunt. Because of his work he was away a lot and only my aunt knew that he took the week of. He was supposed to come there that evening and when he didn't show up she went to his home and found him.
    Today also marks the three year anniversary of my uncle (my dad's older brother).

    My mom and I visited the memorial book at the crematory today. In it they show they current day and the names of the people that died and usually contain a message that the family wanted it to contain.

    For me the past year seems to have flew by. There were both sad and fun times. There were also times that were both, like my graduation last year.

    I was supposed to have a test week this week, but thanks to my coordinator I can take them later.

    I think it's funny how these kind of things show who your real friends are. It seems those whom I didn't expect it from, cared to most today (from my RL friends).

    I would also like to thank shlong, kwartel, VGP for trying to cheer me up today. So thanks a lot guys! :3 *hugs*
  • CamulaHikari

    Yesterday was great :3

    Soo yesterday was the date, and is was just... wonderfull~! :3

    The beginning was pretty bad for. It started on my way there, I went out quite early so I wouldn't be late.
    Guess what happens, I get a flat tire :glare: So I dumped my bike at the nearest parking place and had to take the bus...
    Which was 10 minutes late. So when it finally came I was quite pissed. So it took me to the station and had to swich buses, and the bus I had to take there was late too :glare:

    So I send him a message that I had to take the bus and hoped I would still be on time. And he texts me back that he would pick me up from the bus stop. :3
    I asked him if he knew which bus stop, seems he had a different one in mind, so I told him to wait at the cinema.

    When I arrived at the cinema after a 5 minute walk we were quite nevous but tried to act as naturally as we could, at which we succeeded :3
    We talked a bit while waiting in line for the tickets and I picked up from him that he doesn't really like romantic movies. I asked him what kinda movies he liked and when it was our turn to get tickets we got tickets for a different movie then we were supposed to go to, Vampires Suck~! :3

    In the end I'm glad we did, since we both really enjoyed this movie :3~! And it was a good thing the cinema was pretty cold :3, since it made us snuggle together and we stayed like that till way after the credits, until some people that worked there threw us out :P

    We stayed at the lobby of the cinema for about another hour and just talked about anything that came in our minds. Seems we have more things in common than I thought :3

    When we left it was around 7 PM and we decided to grab some dinner, which ended up to be pizza~! yum yum :wub:
    While eating dinner we talked a lot about our family's and it was a really open conversation.

    After that we just walked around town holding hands and talking. (I think we talked too much yesterday x3) It was then that he confessed that he really liked me and that he really enjoyed everything we did and then asked me if I liked him at which I blushed and stuttered too much. (God I hate it when I can't find the words I want to say) In the end I told him I really liked the idea of us being together and at that he smiled and put his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder :3, while walking towards the bus stop. When we arrived at the bus stop, we found out that the bus just left 3 minutes ago and I had to wait for half an hour, it was pretty cold by then so we looked for an empty bench and snuggled together until the bus came :3

    When te bus came neither of us really wanted to move, but we reluctanly got up and walked towards de bus. Just before the bus we stopped and or eyes locked for what seemed like forever and then we kissed. :blush: We only broke away because the bus driver said he would leave if I didn't get in soon.

    Looking back I say the day was wonderful~! :3
  • CamulaHikari

    Guess it's a date

    So I just spoke to a close friend on msn, and he asked me out to see a movie.
    And I'm a bit nervous :shy:
    Last time we saw each other was at a huge party from another friend, and there he told me that he liked me, although he was drunk.
    Then the next day he called me and said that he really meant it and we talked for a while. One of his closest friends let it accidently slip that he meant it.
    We haven't really seen each other after the party (about a month ago), because of school and holidays and such.
    But today we talked again and he was really nice.
    After that he asked me if I wanted to go to the movie, and it's actually a romantic comedy :wub:
    And now I'm quite nervous, since after my last bf and I broke up (if you can even call it that :glare:) I was a bit wary of having an other relationship.
    But my best friend told me, the same thing I just told him two weeks ago, to just go for it and forget about the bastard guy!

    Guess I should tell a bit about him too :blush:
    I've known him now for 2-3 years and everytime we get together you can always find the two of us together.
    He's a really nice guy, and actually listens to you when you have problems. He's a half year younger than me, but he's more mature than most of the guys I know IRL.
    He really helped me after the death of my dad and supported me a lot. I could always talk to him, when I was feeling down.

    To be honest, I think I really like him too. :blush:
  • CamulaHikari

    And then you're blowing away your money~!

    So I finally went to get my hair fixed after my mother has been nagging for like three weeks~!

    I finally went today and I must say it was a bit pricey, but that's what you get for wanting get a new color.
    It's too bad my hair doesn't keep all colors, it was supposed to be white, but it's a bit darker, hopefully it will bleach with the sun and the silver shampoo I bought.
    That was about €75 together.

    Then I went to the city with some friends. There was a shop selling accessories and like they had a major sale, all the jewellery was €2-3, and then you go and buy stuff for €50 there (in three times, twice last week and once today), a bit further there was this guy selling plushies for €1-2 each O.o, So I went and bought three pokemon plushies (bulbasaur, charmander, squirtle), a DN L Plushie and a bleach Toushirou plushie and I love them immensely~! :D

    I also went to buy some hair coloring since the barber didn't have it. I bought a dark blue color and a violet color~! That was €10 I believe.

    We also went by our local manga/anime shop, and I just couldn't help myself and bought a litte too much this time >.< : The first 5 volumes of Vampire Knight, the second volume of Ultimo and the new Shonen Jump~! That was &#8364;60

    Last but not least I also went by the local game shop and bought some of the games I thought were worthwile (luckily our shop imports from the USA) there I bought DQIX for the DS and Persona 3 Portable for the PSP. Together they were &#8364;80. While there the had this form you could fill in and they will keep you up to date about the 3DS, about when they will get them, about the game list and how much everything will cost, and I immediatelt signed it since I like to support my local shop by buying there instead of the internet~!

    And that was how I blew away &#8364;230 in less then a week O.O, I believe I'm quite lucky with all the money I got from graduation and a bit that was still left from my birthday. Now I told myself that I won't but anything for two weeks and since I'll be gone for the two weeks after that... I should have some money again after that :P~!

    Damn me and my addictions >.<
  • CamulaHikari

    TMF AWARDS~!

    So I just came back from the TMF Awards which were luckily enough in my hometown so I didn't have to go to the other side of the Netherlands~! And it was better then I thought~!
    The bands were quite good, but I didn't agree with every prize winner, but oh well can't have everything >.<

    The Prizes were:
    BEST LIVE ACT - Kane
    BEST VIDEO - The Opposites ft. Sef & Gers &#8211; Broodje Bakpao
    BEST MAN - Jan Smit
    BEST WOMAN - Esmée Denters
    TMF BORSATO AWARD - Waylon
    TMF SUPERCHART AWARD - The Opposites ft. Sef & Gers &#8211; Broodje Bakpao
    TMF PURE AWARD - The Opposites
    TMF DANCE AWARD - Tiësto

    The best thing of the evening was the last act, it was... 30 Seconds To Mars~! It wasn't as good as when I saw them at Pinkpop(a few years back), but it was the best act of the evening~! I believe I lost my voice there >.<

    For people interested, the line-up was:

    Main Stage
    30 Seconds to Mars -> the main reason we went~!
    Kane
    Nick & Simon
    The Opposites, Dio & Flinke Namen
    DI-RECT -> another band we wanted to see, since we hadn't seen the new singer live yet, it was awesome too~!

    Superchart Stage
    Gabriella Cilmi
    Waylon
    Destine -> Was awesome as well~!
    Diggy Dex
    Stereo -> Hadn't heard of them yey, but when I heard the music it was quite familiar. We didn't see them but we sat just outside the stage and I must say they were quite good~!

    TMF Dance Stage, hosted by Absolutely Fresh (Haven't seen any of the acts here xD, not my type of music)
    Sidney Samson
    The Partysquad
    Sunnery James & Ryan Marciano
    Quintino ft. Mitch Crown
    Marc Vano & MC Sherlock

    After seeing 30STM I really want to go to Lowlands next, but my mother probably won't allow it -sigh- oh well...
  • CamulaHikari

    YAY Graduated~!

    Woot~! I graduated yesterday~! Now I have to pick up my grade list today~!
    I was really nervous, they were going to call between 16.00-16.30 and damn my nephew dared to call me then. I thought I failed when I heard the phone >.<
    Stupid nephews xD