Past scene drama (why ARN was renamed)Jan 19, 2017
Since I explained this to a couple of people who asked me in private, I figured I could put it here if anyone is interested.
"I swear I really respected Rei at first (Luma was originally named "AuReiNAND" to reflect that he was the author of the original project). I was also with him on a Skype group, CTRDev, and I was chill with him, he genuinely seemed like a nice person and we got along. Then at some point he started the "bloat meme" and discussions about my code sucking increased, he even brought it to reddit where he made a post about it (but then CTRDev members convinced him to take it down). Then one day someone added a fake account ("DILIGAF") to CTRDev, who started insulting me in a very bad way. CTRDev is a private group, so it was one of us. That day (it was at the end of April) I had just argued with Rei and he misgendered me as well, I have logs of the argument and of DILIGAF:
After this was over me and Tux investigated it, Tux used some Skype IP tool to determine his IP, and we sent it to GBAtemp staff. The outcome was that it was most likely a GBAtemp regular, since the IP blocks matched; coincidentally it was a person we found out got close to Rei: http://i.imgur.com/75pbunM.png (he also had stuff about Luma being bloated in his GBAtemp signature).
So with everything figured out, we exposed Rei to the CTRDev members and he left saying the group sucked.
Some time later (one month I believe?) Rei asked Ryan to take over CTRDev's then admin's account (he either had the password, as this person claims to have given it to him; or he guessed it but it doesn't really matter) and take over and spam the group. And so he did. http://i.imgur.com/JHWcnRL.png
Other than this, I was shown screenshots of Rei shit talking me on the Discord 3dsch*** group (3dsch*** is where the "DILIGAF" person came from, they just seem to be a circle of people who hate me for some reason).
I called him out because I just had enough. As it can be seen in the screenshots in the other blog post he knew this would happen before my github was messed with and the transphobic things were posted here. And Punderino posted lots of things that Rei uses to say (like that I copy Rei's work and stuff http://i.imgur.com/SYaO9LY.jpg ). He even used transphobic expressions that Rei uses towards me (I'd rather not repeat those). So even assuming Rei didn't have a hand in the hacking, he definitely had one in "setting him up" for this; I already saw once on the wiiubru IRC that Ryan and Punderino repeated Rei's insults."
What sucks about this sceneJan 17, 2017
So, I've mostly kept silent about it until now but due to the recent hacks I will say that this scene is really cringey, due to a group of edgy kids (among them there's even a respected developer) who keep doing things like this to me (hence the Luma3DS name change, actually).
I'll let these images speak for themselves (this was before the hacks actually took place): http://imgur.com/a/aweTG
Not all discrimination is equalOct 23, 2016
It's been a while since I thought about writing this, and since things keep happening that remind me about it, I'm going ahead.
So, it might be obvious to some, but not all forms of discrimination are equally accepted in society. Discrimination about physical features (wearing glasses, being short/tall etc.) or illnesses is generally despised by most people.
Discrimination about groups of people is where it gets tricky. Racist remarks (especially if heavily so) are also generally frowned upon. Homophobic ones are quite more accepted, but are quickly becoming less so as the LGB rights situation improves, while transphobic and sexist ones (rape jokes and such) are the most accepted. Usually, a trans person can't even point out that a statement is insulting, that it gets labeled as a joke, or that the trans person is seen as "exaggerating", or "being incapable to take jokes".
This also reflects in online communities/chatrooms, since I saw cases where a racist insult results in measures from the staff, while homophobic and transphobic ones barely result in any.
Coming Out DayOct 11, 2016
I don't talk much about my personal life in public (only when I see a reason to do it), but to celebrate this day I figured I could say I'm proud of who I am.
I'm a lesbian and asexual (or, how it's said in the asexual community, homoromantic) transgirl, and I'm thankful to everyone who supported me until now.
Don't be scared of who you are, and if anyone hates you for who you are think they're already in the past. History will remember them in the same way as we now remember people who opposed women's right to vote or interracial marriage.
Aurora's storyOct 21, 2011
Hi everyone, I'm writing this in a very special period to me. The Internet allowed me to give a name to my "issue" and to understand I wasn't alone, and this happened at a relatively young age, so I want to share my experience back. Here it goes.
I've always been an introvert person, I remember that I've tended to stay on my own since primary school (this was favored by the uncohesiveness of the classes). The first memory I have about this goes back to this time period: my mom told me that if I had been born female, she would have called me Giada (Jade in English). I remember very well that that afternoon I mulled over it a lot, trying to convince myself that being born male had been better (the first time, of a long seriesâ€¦)
I can't remember anything else until middle school, I was starting to grow then, and I started feeling a sense of extraneousness, both physical (each physical change almost traumatized me) and behavioural (I couldn't reflect myself in my male mates' behaviors). Since then, my introversion has grown over time, until today (I've almost no friends, and I'm almost isolated from the rest of the world).
While I was in middle school I didn't know the reason for this. But I remember having a strong fear of becoming adult. As time passed by, I noticed that my attraction to girls was a bit weird, I was attracted to them and I envied them at the same time (and when it happened to think about what "being a girl" could have been like, I always looked for every possible reason to discredit this possibility - women are disadvanteged in society, etc. - and to convince myself that I had been lucky to be born male and not female. But, looking backwards, I see all the lies I made to myself, and that I would have paid whatever price to be a girl. Not because of the stereotypes about male or female behaviors, but for the fact in itself.
Some years ago I read about the "gender identity disorder" and it was like a lightning: finally all the pieces of the puzzle were coming together.
But, since I were an idiot, I still tried to deny everything to myself, thinking it was a momentary phase, or something like that.
I don't think anyone can imagine how much it hurts to go around and seeing a certain kind of girl (reserved, modest, etc.) I can identify with. It's an incredible pain to notice others expecting you to be a boy like the others when you don't feel as one, and to see your body betraying you and keeping to go on its own way.
A year ago or so, there has been a very difficult period at school, a bad atmosphere with some professors and, since I felt bad on my own already, I couldn't stand it and I lost that year. At first, I only blamed the school, my parents obviously considered it an extreme reaction, so I started seeing a psychologist. I wanted to hide everything from him as well, but I was close to "exploding". The final straw was penguinprotecter's thread, here on GBATemp. She could be so open about it, why couldn't I?
I mustered up the courage, and I told everything to the psychologist (he's almost a friend today) and to my mom (who, at first, believed it was a joke, but right now understands and supports me). Some months later, the psychologist allowed me to start my journey, going to an endocrinology department in a town very far away from here (I thank my parents for this).
I went there on July 14 and they told me that they needed a psychiatric examination that confirmed my "gender identity disorder", as well as a gene map confirming my sex chromosomes as male (XY), to start Hormone Replacement Therapy. I recently got that examination (finally) and gene map, and I'm going to go back to that department on October 27, day in which I will start my HRT.
The few friends I have and my family took this really well (except for my cousin).
I want to remark that I can't care less about the gender stereotypes. I'll always be myself, beyond my gender.
I consider my "issue" to be biological, and there seems to be some studies which confirm that.
Just some final words, about Italian laws. We're very outdated about this: the Italian standards of care (ONIG) say that you have to undergo 2 years, if not more, of psychotherapy before starting HRT. This is destructive, and I can totally see why people decide to start on their own (even if it's extremely dangerous). Luckily the place I went to follows the international standards (wpath). On top on that, here you're considered legally male until you under go Sex Reassignment Surgery (so they force you to do it), unlike the US, the UK, Spain etc. where hormone therapy is enough.