GBAtemp Exclusive Leave It On The Shelf #1: Sneakers

Discussion in 'GBAtemp & Scene News' started by chavosaur, Apr 18, 2017.

  1. chavosaur
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    chavosaur Austin Trujillo

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    Sometimes I like to recommend games to people. I get a little kick out of it because I like sharing my tastes and opinions with people. It is primarily why I am a writer after all. Y’know what else I like doing? Telling people to stay as far away from certain games as possible.

    Welcome to the first also ultimately not regularly posted series known as Leave It On The Shelf, where anyone can share their opinion on games they feel should never be played by any person in the history of EVER.

    On today’s entry, we’re going to take a look at a game I had for the original Xbox when I was a wee lad. This is:

    SNEAKERS
    Sneakers_Coverart.png

    Usually, when it comes to games from our childhood, we tend to be unsure of the quality of the game. We were too young to know any better or understand what we were playing couldn’t be defined as good. I say usually because Sneakers is an exception to that rule. Even little Chavo knew he was playing some bullshit.

    Sneakers is an exclusive Xbox title, (for reasons I can’t even fathom) that was released exclusively in Toys R Us stores in the US and everywhere else in other regions. It stars some mice. In clothes. With little shoes. We have a real winner on our hands so far folks.

    The plot of the game, if you can call it that, is your crew of mice are preparing for a party and are accumulating a wealth of cheese, only to find that their cheese stash is gone. The leader of the group, Apollo, comes to the conclusion that Rats are responsible for this, so they need to go beat them up and get their cheese back.

    That’s all you have to go on with this swiss cheese of a plot. (Because Swiss cheese has holes. Haha. I’m sorry.

    4264.jpeg

    The point of the game is to find the rats in various areas and beat them up to get your cheese back. Makes it sound a bit like a beat em up right? Well, more on that later actually.

    Sneakers is this strange kind of point and click puzzle game made on a console. You control your party of rats all at once and walk them over various areas and just have them check stuff. You'll point the cursor at things like wastebaskets or towels and then pick a mouse character to go check that stuff out. So say, for example, there is something large like the trashcan in front of you. You’ll point your cursor at the trashcan, hit a button, select the big mouse, he will go up and kick the trashcan over which may or may not contain a rat. If it contains a rat, the rat counter will deplete a little, and you will have time added to a little clock in the bottom right corner, (because for some reason the game is timing you on this, and if you miraculously manage to run out of time, you will game over.)

    And that is the entire game. Sometimes the rats aren’t even hiding anywhere. You can find them standing out in the open, point the cursor at them and press A, and they’ll just puff into smoke. There isn’t even a cute animation of the mice fighting them or anything. They just Ninja smoke bomb straight into rat hell.

    4184.jpeg

    With that being said, there are occasional moments where you will find large clusters of rats. When this happens, you will be sent into this battle mode where all hell breaks loose.

    You have this strange open battlefield with rats running around like maniacs, and you can only use the sticks and press the B button to run up and punch them. There are no combos; there are no multipliers, no team attacks. You just beat the hell out of them with your fists and hope to god you manage to deplete their health bars faster than they deplete yours. It’s chaotic, unsatisfying, and an absolute chore.

    The hunting and finding and the weird battles are the entire game. There is no other depth, objective, or substance to the game outside of this. And as if the mind-numbing gameplay was bad enough you are constantly bombarded by the same music for the entirety of the game. There is no salvation from the same themes looping every 20 seconds in every area of the game.

    It barely even feels like a game, and it markets itself as this kid-friendly experience that, in reality, made young Chavo hide the game under his mattress so that he wouldn’t be reminded he owned it. I still cannot fathom to this day why Microsoft funded it as an exclusive for their console.

    I had my share of weird exclusives for the Xbox, but Sneakers stands out as one of the most bizarre, most boring excuse for a console exclusive I have ever had the displeasure of owning.

    So I implore all my retro hunters out there, all my physical game collectors and masochists that love suffering through bad games. For the love of all that is good in gaming. Leave this one on the shelf.

    ____________________________​

    Thank you for reading this silly little idea I had after being reminded of it in a discord conversation. Much like recommends, it’s incredibly fun to share what we like and dislike. Just as recommends is open to submissions and to staff input, so is Leave it on the shelf. If you have a game you want to talk about, go ahead and write something about it, PM it to me so I can take a look at the formatting and all that, and you might see it on the front page! Until next time, I appreciate the feedback!
     


  2. SonicCloud

    SonicCloud Mhm!

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    I like the idea of this , however , shouldn't it be called:
    "Throw it off the shelf"
    Just saying ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    Anyways , good job!
     
    damiano2712 and chavosaur like this.
  3. Tom Bombadildo

    Tom Bombadildo Honk!

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    I forgot
    Holy fuck, I owned this game agggggggges ago, I think I got it as a gift or something, but I couldn't for the life of me remember what the fuck it was called.

    Man this game sucked.
     
    SushiKing and chavosaur like this.
  4. DinohScene

    DinohScene DinohScene <З MartyDreamy

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    I actually liked this game.

    However, I know a game you can not beat in being horrible and boring.
    Little Britain the game.
     
  5. gamesquest1

    gamesquest1 Nabnut

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    Never seen it, but the way it's described sounds like a cheap knock off pikmin
     
  6. Chary

    Chary Never sleeps

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    Those mice's faces though...if this article doesn't turn you away from the game, the character models definitely will.

    [​IMG]
     
  7. DespyCL

    DespyCL GBAtemp's Official Axolotl

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    Sonic genesis for gba
     
  8. s157

    s157 Grinder Extraordinaire

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    Oh, kusoge thread. I dig this.

    I'd recommend people to stay away from the home alone games. They're really old, so not sure if it counts.
     
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  9. kprovost7314

    kprovost7314 GBAtemp's Official Bara Master

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    In that bara manga ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
    Every PS and Xbox
     
  10. DarkGabbz

    DarkGabbz Resident XBOX Guy

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    upload_2017-4-18_21-14-26.png = The label of trash
     
  11. Sonic Angel Knight

    Sonic Angel Knight GBAtemp Guru

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    For some reason when i saw this on the front page, this came to mind. :P

     
  12. tbb043

    tbb043 Member

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    Probably because MS published it. Was it that hard to fathom, an MS published game exclusive to an MS console?

    If your issue is a bad first party game existing... well... MS is no Nintendo, and they certainly weren't back in the OG Xbox days.
     
  13. leon315

    leon315 POWERLIFTER

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    Next game, SILENT BOMBER for psx
     
  14. XDel

    XDel Author of the Alien Breed Odamex Projekt.

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    Now I HAVE to have it!
     
  15. death360

    death360 Advanced Member

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    I think I remember when this game came out just looked at the cover of the game and I was like a rat with sneakers no thanks.
     
  16. supergamer368

    supergamer368 Switchthusiast

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    I game I really frickin' hate is A Bug's Life for the N64. It's laggy, glitchy, and incredibly boring. The "story sequences" and pretty much any background (Title, game over, etc.) is just a screenshot from the crappy movie with poorly drawn text on it. And the best part? Getting a game over will result in your progress being reset. SERIOUSLY. But it won't be a problem, your brain would have been melted by the time you survive the tutorial. Then there's all these items... Seeds,(You can plant different types) so-called "super berries"(You can throw them), "FLIK"(A ripoff of KONG letters found in each level), and a boatload of other crap found in each level. This game you shouldn't leave on the shelf. YOU SHOULD BURN THE ENTIRE SHELF THAT IT SITS ON.
     
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  17. Pluupy

    Pluupy Woof!

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    I want to develop a video game that will end up on this list.
     
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  18. migles

    migles i'm a dude, i just enjoy pretty girls and money...

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    damn, this is a nice series of articles but you know... i am one of thoose "game so awfull i must play it"
    but you did a really good job describing the game i don't feel the need of trying it and see it for myself, because i can understand how is it based on your writing...
    keep doing it :D
     
    chavosaur likes this.
  19. seam

    seam GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    You're a writer?
     
  20. MarcusRaven

    MarcusRaven HBC Theme Maker

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    Stretch Panic. Just... oh my no...

    Helicopter Chesticles at 5:08
     
    Last edited by MarcusRaven, Apr 18, 2017
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