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Edgedancer

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@ Sterling - Thats certainly an interesting piece of micro-fiction you have there Sterling. With only 3 hours of sleep under my belt, I will have to come back to try and look a little deeper, but the premise of someone looking for redemption is certainly explored well in this story. I see a lot of myself in this writing, as in the style and subject matter is something I would probably approach. More than anything, you really nailed the short sentences in this story, and this helped to set the mood quite well. "Apparitions of the unrestful dead" was probably my favourite one and I may just have to steal it.
tongue.gif
 

Sterling

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Sweet. It took me around 10 minutes to write after my cat insisted on waking me up this morning. Glad you like it. Have fun with the unrestful dead.
 

Edgedancer

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In response to Sterling's previous story, here is my own one that is quite similar. Again, it was created when I was talking myself into taking action for my girlfriend. Its not so much a story, more of a musing that I wrote.

Life is like a game of Russian Roulette

Life is like a game of Russian roulette. Imagine the gun being your mind and the bullets every significant decision you make. Every pull of the trigger could be your last. It may take five tries, it may take five-hundred but eventually you luck is going to run out and your world will collapse.
Some may survive, never pulling the fateful trigger but never taking the chance could mean you’re dead already, destined to fade like a Polaroid photograph, into obscurity with nothing of importance to lay claim to.
It’s the thrill of the game that’s life to provide the temptation to test yourself but those that play should be aware of the risks.
It’s a rule that has been passed down since the dawn of man; the concept of equilibrium. We know this under many guises but the one most are familiar with would be “Yin and Yang,” in which some evil exists inside all good and some good exists inside all evil. Another guise is karma, in which you good and bad actions will reward and punish you, respectively.
This notion extends itself into our life choices. With every leap of faith we make, we must accept that there is a chance that the ground will slip from underneath our feet and we will fall. But we accept these risks as necessary as, without the chance of failure our world as we know it would cease.
It reminds us that we are alive.
But firing this ‘bullet’ need not be the end of life as we know it. Like the mythological phoenix, humans can be reborn from the remains of their former selves. We cast of the shackles of our dead exterior and walk the earth as a new person. By committing ourselves to an irrevocable path, we run the risk of self-destruction but also enlightenment.
So many people play this deadly game daily, not realising what we are doing until it has happened. It can be as simple as speeding down a road. It could be giving away your heart. We never know what is around the corner but its the thrill of the unknown that gives humans their passions. How can we know who do give our hearts to unless we take a leap of faith. There is every chance it won’t be reciprocated, but without actually trying, you will be left with memories filled with regrets.
So I ask you, when the time comes, will you pull the trigger?
 

KingdomBlade

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60 SECONDS​
1 Flashing images.
2 A baby in a stroller.
3 A burning apartment building.
4 A worn down motel.
5 Police sirens.
6 A detention center where everyone screams.
7 A reform school.
8 The street, with blood rolling on my face, and cowards running away.
9 My father touching me.
10 Mutilating myself.
11 Losing weight.
12 Losing my virginity to the wrong man.
13 Going out with a friend.
14 Drinking all night.
15 Getting into a car accident.
16 Spending 5 days in jail.
17 Being offered coke.
18 Trying coke, and trying another, and another.
19 Gambling my money.
20 Looking for a job.
21 Obtaining a job as a cafeteria lunch lady.
22 Losing the job.
23 Mutilating myself.
24 Desperately looking for a job.
25 Picking up a piece of paper on the floor.
26 Winning the lottery.
27 Immediate success.
28 Buying a condominium.
29 Buying a car.
30 Going into rehab.
31 Starting a small business.
32 Finding more friends.
33 Being set up on a blind date.
34 Hating the blind date.
35 Meeting a woman on the street and became friends.
36 Realizing what I really am.
37 Kissing the woman.
38 Marrying the woman.
39 Adopting a child.
40 The child going to school for the first time.
41 The child winning his basketball game.
42 A vacation to Japan.
43 A plane crashing.
44 A funeral.
45 Business failing.
46 Drugs and alcohol.
47 Shutting down business.
48 Gambling all savings.
49 Losing hope in everything.
50 Going to the top of the building where our office was.
51 Stairs.
52 More stairs.
53 Clouds in the sky.
54 A bird shitting on next to me.
55 A picture in my pocket.
56 A window.
57 More windows.
58 Screaming people.
59 The sidewalk.
60 Darkness.
COMMENTS? INSPIRED BY SOMETHING I CAN'T REMEMBER.​
 

Shinigami357

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@Sterling - Loved it. Deep, thought-provoking and paced just right. I loved the way that the beginning and the end in particular focus on the same thing: the ticking clock. In the beginning, it was a way to show that time is going forward regardless of what happens next [or running out, in this case, which is all the more powerful]. At the end it symbolizes not just the ending, but also that time has run out - the character's decisions are irrevocable, and whatever peace and solace he finds, will come with the fact that he never forgave himself.

@Edgedancer - That was deep thinking... Hmmm...

@KindomBlade - Wow. Um, that's quite a ride for 60 seconds. It hits you, too. Like 60 times a minute.
 

Sterling

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I've walked through my life on my own. I have walked a beat of solidarity. Forever alone. There was hope that it wouldn't always be like this, however as my head dipped beneath the water of the merciless ocean, that hope was almost gone. There was very little strength in my limbs. The bullets that rent my body ensured that. The red stain creeped up my back slowly and melded with the salt water. The stinging pain mixed with regret and unfulfilled aspirations was a void in my heart. My final efforts to keep afloat only succeeded in reminding me that my single file foot steps in the beach were already fading. Wiped out by the torrent of the world, the waves of never ending time. As the salt and water blinded me and the last of my strength faded. I make an effort to recall one mark that I will be remembered by. That effort did nothing, just like me. I sunk into the bitter deep of the gray and lonely ocean filled with regret, anguish, and pain. The life of a loner, ends alone. Forever alone.

I like this one too.

Added more detail and stuff.
 

Shinigami357

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I move we convene and agree on a tagline/catchphrase/motto. Or something...
unsure.gif



@Sterling - Why is everyone writing dark stuff? I feel sooo left out... Gotta write one, too...
[goes off to write]
 

Sterling

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Shinigami357 said:
I move we convene and agree on a tagline/catchphrase/motto. Or something...
unsure.gif



@Sterling - Why is everyone writing dark stuff? I feel sooo left out... Gotta write one, too...
[goes off to write]
Do you have any ideas?

Dark stuff is morbidly fun to write. What do you think of them so far?
 

Edgedancer

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Shinigami357 said:
I move we convene and agree on a tagline/catchphrase/motto. Or something...
unsure.gif



@Sterling - Why is everyone writing dark stuff? I feel sooo left out... Gotta write one, too...
[goes off to write]
Well in an effort to lighten the mood, here is one of my few forays into comedic writing.

Class War
The bell rang, heralding the start of their respite from class. They stood, ready to leave the room.
“Fellow comrades,” intoned Felix, class spokesperson. “I beg of you not to partake in the bounty of your lunchbox freely. For we are but simple fifth years, attempting to savour the freedom of the playground for a single hour. Think not of your food for that shall keep; think not of the study for that is after school. Think of the freedom that comes with the simple act of running, jumping and laughing.
“And if you give me your trust, I shall lead forth and do all within my power to fulfil you innate desire for joy. Reconnaissance Officer Shaun, have there been any recent developments that will inhibit my compatriots and me from enjoying ourselves.”
Shaun took a single step forward and said clearly and succinctly, “No General! There is nothing of note to mention!”
Felix strode towards him and placed a hand on his back. “Ahh. That’s what I wanted to hear. Men, single file behind me and we shall proceed to our destiny.”
“Yes sir!” the class shouted and made a line.
They left the room promptly, moving in time like the wizened veterans they were. It all proceeded smoothly until several silhouettes appear in the doorway, barring them.
Uncertainly, the fifth year brigand faltered in their steps but Felix quickly took the lead.
“Who are you to bar us from our freedom? I ask that you stand aside or tell us who you are acting under!”
“You are in no position to be making demands,” a smooth voice replied, the centre shadow stepping forward to show his face.
“Marcus the Sixth. I should have known,” replied Felix. “Will you stand aside?”
“You know the way I wish to be addressed. Don’t believe that just because in 3 months time I will be gone and you will take my place, I will stand for such insubordination!” spat Marcus. “And for too long I have put up with it. It is time you were taught a lesson.”
Instantly, the sixth battalion strode forward and Felix knew he couldn’t back down.
“Men, I promised you recess but this is the price we pay for such freedom. To glory!”
And with that, two powers clashed outside of the English rooms. An orgy of wedgies, wet willies and Indian burns took place, leaving no side unscathed. Bodies from both sides fell and moaned as they cradled their injuries.
Felix pulled himself up and propped himself against the wall, looking at the scene before him.
“What happened here!” boomed a voice.
Felix turned and saw the unrivalled power of Derwent elementary.
The Prinicipal.

And we can totally do a tagline. Here are some ideas off the top of my head;
- Our pens are never silent
- Creating our own worlds
- Something inspirational
 

Sterling

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I totally smiled. Haha.

-Defeating Nazis, one ink at a time. (Kudos to whoever gets the reference).
-Final product, somewhere you've never been.
-I'm [insert username here]. Come with me through the pages.
-The Pagemaster ain't got nothing on us.
 

Domination

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Was trying to write a dystopian-ish story, but it turned out kinda crappy... The plot is weak, progression is weak, characters are weak, dialogue is weak, etc etc.
mellow.gif
But still I thought it would be a waste to just chuck this story into the recycle bin.
It was the year 2146, and I was running through the streets of a small town in Kansas. It was snowing heavily and I was finding it hard to navigate through the confusing town streets, but if I stopped I would be dead. They were catching up, I could hear them. Hundreds men marching together, their heavy and hostile stomping echoing through the chillingly empty streets. Men. This was an all-male town.

Why were they pursuing me, you ask? To kill me. Why did they want to kill me? You see, I was a heterosexual. Heterosexuality was abnormal in 22nd century USA. Heterosexuality was outlawed, no two humans of different genders were to be married. Sexual intercourse between humans of different genders was frowned upon too. These were strictly enforced laws that carried heavy penalties: Both of them warranted death sentences.

And I was a female from UK, where heterosexuality was still considered the social norm. Me and my husband were having our honeymoon at a tourist hotspot nearby. And they discovered us two making love in the town inn. We thought it would be ok and no one would find us out. My husband was already captured by the enraged townsfolk, and now they were coming for me at full throttle.

Oh fuck. A dead end. How timely.

"Well, well. Hello there... Filthy woman! Raise your hands in the air and turn around!" I raised my hands and slowly turned around. I locked eyes with a middle aged brunette.

"Heh. What do you think you were doing, woman?"

"Erm, consumating my marriage with my lawfully wedded husband?" I replied while trying to emphasise on my British accent.

"Foreigners eh? That's no excuse. You are in USA now, so you have to follow our rules. And heterosexuality is punishable by death!"

Just as I was about to open my mouth and reply him, I heard a loud explosion, followed by a searing pain at my waist and. I was shot! The pain was overbearring, so overbearring that I lost all my strength and all my consciousness of the surroundings immediately. I fell onto my knees while clutching my wound. I was shivering because of the stubborn snowstorm but my wound was burning.

I thought to myself "If only we didn't come to the USA for our honeymoon! Its all Richard's fault! I told him it'll turn out this way, but he said it'll be ok! What did we do to deserve this? What is wrong with being a hetero-" I heard another loud sound and felt a searing pain at my right breast.

As for the tagline:

-We only write better stories than you!

-A.K.A. The Mnistry of Motherfucking Good Writers.

-We liek turtles... and writing.

lol Cant really think of anything. Tag lines are hard to create.
 

Sterling

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@Dommy: Damn straight (pun intended). I see where you were going with your story, and in the past I've had many projects turn out like that. Return to it later, and you might be able to finish it.

Based off of Shinigami357's
-Your World, and our World are worlds apart.
 

Devin

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Reviewer:

Sora1234/RoxasIsSora/Devin
Medium Stories, unless I'm really in depth with it.
English, currently learning Spanish.
I visit GBAtemp.net everyday.
I pretty much write, when something interesting comes up.

Lets see.

PSP Custom Theme Guide
PSP Cheat Guide
Super Nyan-Cat Zombie Jesus Survival Guide
Pokemon Soul Silver GamePlay
Wii The Conduit Debug Menu
GBAtemp Giveaway
EzDLC Item Creator Demo
GBA Tuner Video


I'm pretty sure I'm missing a lot of other examples, but the above links will lead you to videos/guides/stories that should demonstrate, or give you a idea of my ability to write Reviews, and or make videos of said reviews. Since I made the videos, I have gotten a better camera. Now if only I knew how to get my iPhone 4 to stop showing border bars. Anyway, here's my application.
 

retKHAAAN

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Writer Application

•Name: Old8oy
•Expertise (if you can really call it that...): Poetry/lyrics
•English is my primary language
•I visit regularly but don't post nearly as often as I used to
•I write whenever something comes to me. Daily

Sample 1:
I need somewhere to place my faith
I need to escape this cold vacuum of life
And make my way to the furthest reaches of space
To walk into the sun and feel all of my fears and doubts burn away
I can’t do it alone, though I’ll still try
While I continue to wait for my saving light
For the radiance of a star yet to be born and still so bright
Its gravity keeps me grounded
Its luminance envelopes me
The cosmic masses and searing gases surround
But fail to dim this small celestial body
Its shine wakes my soul
Its heat warms my heart
I’ll put my faith in this tiny star
I’ll wish upon it
And let it burn away all of my fears and doubts

Sample 2:
If patience is a virtue I have a serious deficiency
I can’t see the right or wrong, only the shades of gray in between
It’s time to go to that other place
Where light and dark never touch, where the clock has no face
Where the solace of oceans and crashing waves
Meets the cool breath of wind and the trees she sways
Where the space of the days
Outlasts the pace of our plays
For love, affection, and other clichés
Where the games lose their charm
And the moments replay
And the need for an answer so easily fades
When impatience persists, I’ll close my eyes and breathe
And follow the gray where it lay among the lives and the dreams
 

shyam513

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Writer's Application:

Shyam513 (always has been)
My writing focuses on Narratives, with the occasional bit of poetry thrown in
English is my third, but I've been speaking it since I was six, so it's almost flawless.
I'm fairly active on Gbatemp, but prefer to read rather than comment
I try and write a little of one of my stories everyday.

As for a sample of my work, it's avaliable for viewing here
 
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