I fucked a dragon
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Mar 20, 2017 at 11:02 PM
So as many people know, I stepped down from being a manager to work night shift in my store. And I have no regrets doing so.
Thus far the job is no where near as stressful compared to both being a manager and just simply working days in general. Because I am dealing less with customers, I am getting a lot more comfortable at my job and I actually enjoy going to work.
One of the biggest things to change for me is getting actual sleep. I used to have a seriously hard time sleeping at night. So I would often stay up until like 3 to 4 in the morning and then have to be in at like 7AM to open the department. This is why I used to try so hard to avoid opening shifts. That doesn't happen anymore. I am basically being paid to stay up all night, something I was already going to do for free. This has greatly helped improve my mood and overall life.
My boyfriends also both work days, so they aren't home all day. This means I sleep comfortably all day and get to spend a couple of hours with them before work. So I am in a better mood before stepping into work. Which has also helped them because I am no longer waking them up at 5 in the morning when I used to get ready for work.
It helps that reports have for the most part stopped being sent in about me. I used to get some regular being transgender or gender related. Of course my managers ignored them, but they were still something that happened on a fairly regular basis. Or I would get complaints that would be filled with extremely transphobic comments. Yeah, not fun. That has pretty much all stopped. At most I get one drunken red neck making a comment about me and that's like once every so often. So it's a lot more comfortable for me to be open when I don't have mouthbreathers trying to get me fired.
I would also like to note that these reports aren't that big a deal. My store sees about 300 to 500 customers every day, so the small number of them getting upset enough to report me isn't really that big a deal. I only brought it up because when an employee is reported, they have to look into it. Which means I often called to the back to talk about the reports and to make sure I was still following good customer service and all that stuff. Even if they didn't bring me to the back, they were still regular enough to be brought up to me as a concern. This wasn't that big a deal, but something that did hinder my work when dealing with it. I brought it because something that used to be regular no longer happens. That's actually something worth noting.
I also just get my work done. I am rarely dealing with customers because there are rarely customers in the store. So it's just my crew and myself working on Modulars all night. Which is great because I adore my team. It's just 6 of us and we work amazingly well together. It also helps that one of the people I work with is the former department manager of electronics. So he's actually the one who trained me to be a manager in the first place and we worked together for several years now.
Thus far I have nothing to really complain about with my spot. I am actually pretty content with this job. Hell last night I had to call in and I actually spent hours trying to prevent myself from calling in because I didn't want to. I actually enjoy working, even if it is for Wal*Mart, I am enjoying what I am doing. The job I wanted was a job where I go in, get my job done without bothering/being bothered by anyone and going home. That's what I am doing now and I am happy with that.
Overall, this is just the job I wanted to do. I am in the background doing my job, people don't notice me, and my job gets done. I also have more time with the people I love, which really helps me push me forward.
I actually got mine at launch in the US, but when will I ever have another time to share my N64? I also threw in my very first SNES. My family had a "family SNES" but this one in the picture was actually my personal SNES that I got for my birthday many eons ago.
And I threw in the old3DS I use to use and now use for testing purposes and my new3DS from Black Friday
I get my taxes back and I will be buying more art of Lilith.
Also I have a small vacation.
Yeah, a legit blog following the annoying blog trend, what are ya gonna do about it?
BASIC FURSONA INFORMATION
Full name: Lilith Valentine
Nickname(s) or Alias: Lillie
Gender: Transgender Female (pre-op)
Species: Dog (Mutt)
Birthday: August 9th, 1991
City or town of birth: Facebook
Currently lives: GBATemp
Languages spoken: English and American English
Native language: American English
Relationship Status: Taken
Hair colour: Pink and light pink
Hairstyle: Wavy and down.
Facial Hairstyle: None
Eye colour: Light Gold
Skin/fur/etc colour: Light tan with light brown patches
Tattoos: None, yet.
Piercings: None yet
Scars/distinguishing marks: No scars
Preferred style of clothing: Punk
Frequently worn jewellery/accessories: She wears a pentagram necklace
Recreational Drug User? Which? Weed~~
Allergies: Red meat
Any physical ailments/illnesses/disabilities: Might be insane
Any medication regularly taken: What are you, my doctor?
Personality: An overly hyper flirt
Dislikes: Windows and Bidoof
Fears/phobias: Nope, not sharing those
Favourite colour: I like colours
Hobbies: Being a slut, gaming, doing secret stuff
Taste in music: Black Metal
Talents/skills: Fast learner and knows a lot of about electronics
Ability to drive a car? Operate any other vehicles? I am dog, I shouldn't be allowed to drive.
Omnivore/Carnivore/Herbivore (Vegetarian): Vegetarian
Favourite food(s): Vegetarian tacos
Favourite drink(s): Monster
Disliked food(s): Pork
Disliked drink(s): cucumber lime anything.
My boyfriends bought me an adoptable, which is basically a basic fursona character that was sold for the design. So I've acquired art, but nothing really more. It also turned out the artist who made the character happened to be my friend, so he threw in some extra pictures that I can't share in the forums (since they were "gender" related requests.)
Her name Lilith and she is basically going to be the closest to the IRL Crystal in design. Still she's adorable and I felt like sharing her with the Temp!
Warning: Spoilers inside!
You know what I haven't done in forever? Made a blog about CFWs! So here's my little blog about why I use Corbenik! I love Corbenik so damn much. First of all, I admire the hell out of chaoskagami for not only making this project, but because he's an honest person who stuck to his guns. He set out to make an advanced, poweruser driven, dev friendly CFW, and damn it, he made it! He took helpful advice from the community and always made sure his CFW was tested. Even when a bug is found, it's almost immediately taken care and tested to ensure it was fixed. But more importantly to me, is his focus. He has a goal and has striven straight towards achieving that goal without buckling. He's blunt, honest, but still extremely kind, he's not afraid to speak his mind, but isn't rude about it. Not to mention doesn't hold your hand, he's helpful, but expects you to also help yourself. Encouraging users of his CFW to think and learn from it.
Corbenik reminds me so much of why I love homebrews so much and why I got into the hacking scene. Because it's a true work of art to me, it's complicated, it's interesting, and more importantly, it turned something as boring as a CFW into something fun. I haven't enjoyed hacking this much since my old DS hacking days, when I was testing out homebrew launchers for my flashcarts. Every update just brings something new and interesting, anything from small details to massive changes like a chainloader. It makes every nightly worth testing.
This is a project I am damn proud that I supported at the start and even more proud to say is my main and only CFW/Bootloader. I know there's great things about the other CFWs and trust me, I've tried them all (I was running 6 of them,) but this one is just the best for me. It does everything I want and more. It's a great project that actually made me go out and learn about the things it was doing. I actually studied and enjoyed studying to know more about this CFW. And I am so happy that I did that, because that was the reason I came here, to learn and Corbenik has helped me do that. It's not the CFW for everyone, but it's damn well the CFW for me.
So as followers of my blog may know, I became a manager over the summer and then put in to step down a few months later. It took like a month and a half for me to finally step down, but on Sunday, I officially started my spot on 3rd Shift. I still have the same pay, full-time, and benefits from this step down, so it wasn't a bad move on my end. But more importantly the job is a lot less stressful compared to being a manager.
Being a manager is a lot harder than it looks. It's a lot paperwork, organization, and mental/physical commitment. Everyday for me was crunch time and everyday was just stress. I not only had a very limited time to finish my work, but I also had to oversee everything and everyone in my departments. I had to make sure everything done, otherwise I was the one who suffered for it. I could never enjoy a day off because if something went wrong, I was the one who was punished for it. Someone went late to their lunch? My fault because I didn't plan for that the day before. Something is lost? My fault for not having it ready when it came in the night I was off. Worst of all, I had split days off, which was shitty. It meant that if I did nothing one day, that was a waste of a day. If I did too much, I was tired the next day. I could never win. And being on call, meant that I was always dealing with issues, even over facebook. I couldn't escape my job, it just kept following me.
This much stress was having horrible results on my overall health. I was dealing with horrible stress dreams, headaches, and always ill because I couldn't take a break. More often than not, I would wake up from panic attacks because of the stress. Which killed my sleeping and only added to the problems I was dealing with. And lack of sleep only caused me to become worse at my job, until I ended up with 2 coachings in one night. Which made me realize that this job was fucking horrible. It wasn't worth the amount of stress I was being put through. It wasn't worth being pressured and feeling worthless. It was like being an abusive relationship and I wanted out.
So I finally put in to step down and finally got my spot on Mod Change Team for nights. 2 nights into the job and the stress dreams stopped, followed by the stress headache. I've also slowed down my drinking, I have entire fridge full of alcohol and I still haven't drank it because I don't feel like it. I've been 4 days into the job and my panic attacks have stopped and I am sleep a full day's rest. It's like night and day compared to when I started to what I am doing now. I am so happy I got coached, because if that didn't happen, I won't have realize just how much I hated my job. Or I would have quit instead. Sometimes something good can come out of something horrible.
Something I am often asked (mostly in private) is why do I have so many depressing blogs? Well the truth be told, it's because I use my blog as a means of venting and getting thoughts out of my head. Something I never talk much about is the fact that I do have depression and I am bipolar. I go through some pretty extreme phases of depression from time to time and it's really hard to get control over with my stressful job. But I found simply getting those thoughts out there and just throwing them at a blog helps a lot. It helps get them out of my head and helps really ease my episodes because the thoughts that were dragging me down are now put elsewhere.
I trust this community because I've spent years on here and know that I can vent these thoughts. I know this community is made up of great people, even if there some buttheads. In all honesty though, these blogs aren't really made for the community. They are made for me. At the same time it also gives a little peak into my mind and let the community really see what makes up who I am. Sometimes it just helps to let the community know that not everything is perfect with me. That I can have struggles and that I do have issues of my own to work though. Sometimes I feel like people often forget that there is another person behind the screen and they too have their personal live's to deal with. Which often is major push for these blogs. To show people that I am another person and that I also have my own problems. Which in turn actually helps me because it brings me back and helps me really look deeper at the problems. Seeing the words out of my mind and out in the open helps me take a step back to look them. Doing this allows me to become the outsider to my own mind. It helps me realize that I am a person and that I can tough through anything. It helps me fight against myself.
That's why I make these blogs because they help me. And in turn, they help the community see a little bit more of me.
As many people may know, I created a small guide to understanding CFWs and to explain the current CFWs. I did this because I love CFWs and I believe one glove does not fit all. I also did this to help the community by explaining the features of these CFWs and break them down into an easy to follow and understandable guide. But I also did this to bring attention to difference CFWs to help the community really figure out what CFW works best for them. I like I said, I love Luma3DS and I see how it got to the number one spot, but it's not the only CFW. Which brings to why I am making this blog/rant.
Luma3DS isn't the only CFW, it's great, but it's not the only CFW. I respect and adore Aurora Wright, her and I go way back. But the simple truth is, there's more than just Luma3DS and Luma3DS does not fit the needs for everyone. I say this because all of this Luma3DS spam has actually hurt the community. I've seen countless CFW threads get spammed with, "WHY WOULD MAKE ANOTHER CFW WHEN WE HAVE LUMA?!?!?" and devs are basically bullied off this site in the name of Luma3DS. Devs have to defend their project or announce that it's no threat to Luma3DS or community will attack them. This is not acceptable, we are a homebrew community. We used to never hinder projects, when Wood R4 came out it wasn't spammed with, "JUST BUY AN ACEKARD 2I AND USES AKAIO!" The community was just happy to see more projects coming from the community. Nowadays devs are actually wary of releasing their projects on the Temp, I know this because I have been talking with burned devs. Devs who released their work and were burned from the community for simply trying something different. Devs who do tough it out just end up ignored and their work gets forgotten about, then abandoned. There was even a few times when the Temp Wiki was vandalized changing the CFW page "There's only Luma3DS " Funny as it is, it still shows just how bad the community is becoming.
I am not blaming Luma3DS for this because it's neither Luma3DS nor Aurora Wright who created this problem. It's completely the community that is at fault. The community seems to have become this cult movement where they feel the need to spread the name of Luma3DS and defend it from any thing they see as a threat. The community has become stagnant and the idea of breaking the mold has become scary to the community. And this is not ok. This community is killing itself from within by not allowing projects to thrive, they are basically hurting the community. And this doesn't just hurt the CFW community, this has been hurting the Temp as a whole. Devs see how our community treats other devs and they just don't want to deal with the community if they think their project is only going to get attacked. This is not something a Homebrew community wants to have happen, we want devs to come to our site, and we want them to be welcome here.
This is something I've been watching for months and even experienced on my own thread and in other threads.This mindset has really tore the community apart and killed projects before they could even get off the ground. And it saddens me to talk/work with these devs who were burned by the community that should have welcomed them.
Just to make one thing clear, I don't say this because I am a Corbenik user. In fact I don't just use Corbenik, I also have Luma3DS on my CTRNAND. As well I have been using several privately developed CFWs. I say this because these private CFWs I use shouldn't be private and these devs should be allowed to share their work without fearing the community.
Today officially marks the beginning of the end for me as a manager. I have decided to step down and take up a role in Night Shift. And honestly it's for the better that I do step down.
I wasn't a bad manager and in fact I was actually doing pretty good with actual managing part. But I end up having a lot of problems. Mostly because I was never officially trained by my trainer. First week, she was on vacation, second week fell to pieces when the bedbugs from our ex-neighbors spread to our apartment, and third week would have been our vacation to Michigan that we were planning for 8 months, but was spent dealing with bedbugs. From there everything just went downhill. We also nearly either lost our apartment or our dog when our landlord found out we have a dog. Interestingly enough, the stress from this entire situation caused me to be re-diagnosed with depression and now my dog is a "Medical pet." So there's that.
The lack of training caused countless problems for me and the unwillingness of the rest of management team to help took a bigger toll on me. Which ended up causing me to get 2 couchings, because my lack of experience and training cost the store a lot of money. Coupled with the lack of rest and medical problems I was starting to have, it became evident that I can't handle this job. So I've decided to step down to a spot I know I can handle.
The good news, I should be more active on the Temp again.
I talk a lot shit about Tumblr, but I don't think people quite realize the damage Tumblr has done to the Trans* community. So let this be from a real transgender girl's explanation to the damages Tumblr has caused.
First of all, the whole, "Did you just assume my gender?" bullshit never came from the Trans* community. No one who is really transgender would be arrogant. That came from Tumblr, where people would get "triggered" over words like, "dude." This phrase has never and would never be said by anyone within the Trans* community.
Second, we aren't special snowflake butterflies. The vast majority of us just want to live in peace and bother no one. In fact, the idea of being the center of attention is the complete opposite of what most of us want. Tumblr on the other hand has made gender in a fucking collectable card game! The vast majority of us don't believe there are fucking 63+ genders! That is fucking outrageous! Nor do we believe that we should get special treatment. All we want is to live a normal life, have a normal job, pay normal taxes, and bother no one. We aren't out for attention and we aren't out to make up a new gender for the hairstyle we woke up with.
Third, just like everyone else, we don't give a shit about what other people think of us. Most of us are busy living our own lives and just trying to get by like every other person. We don't strive for validation from complete strangers and we don't go out of our way to force everyone to love us. Tumblr has this "Us against them," style of thinking, where everyone is either for them or against them. They strive for complete validation from strangers and attack anyone who even remotely criticizes them. This is not the same for the real Trans* community.
Finally, Tumblr is a loud minority. Their actions do not represent the rest of us and in fact they are the minority to the Trans* community. But unlike the Trans* community, they are extremely loud. This means their stupid actions end up unfairly representing the rest of us. So I want to set the record clear that we are not the whinny shits Tumblr created. We just want to live our lives in peace and not bother anyone. Please do not assume Tumblr represents our community as whole.
Do note, the reason I am ranting isn't just because of the site. It's because of the real world effects this site has indirectly caused on my life. Normally I won't give a flying fuck what's going on there. The fact that their actions have leaked into the real world and those leaks have caused me real world problems, is something worth bitching about. A website should not have real world effects, like Tumblr has.
To anyone who hasn't been following my status updates, I tore some ligaments in my ankle on Thursday. I was running across the road when my foot failed to catch the curve, resulting in it being twisted up to my shin, then landing on it to catch myself caused it to be twisted inward. So ended in a lot of pain and when I say pain, I mean it took me 15 minutes to walk 30 feet away from my apartment and nearly pass out. So I had to go to the hospital to find out that I tore the ligaments in my ankle.
Being that I didn't know if I had medical leave or not, the past few days have been spent calling people, paperwork ect. Great stuff, I know. But turns out I did so all that has been handled.
Of course I bet everyone is wondering how my ankle is doing? Well not horrible, having not walked on it much for the past few days has helped. I did have to wear a medical boot for a few days, but was able to downsize to a small foot/ankle brace. The pain went from feeling like someone was punching me with a nail to only feeling like someone was punching my ankle.
Overall, I have to deal with a week off from work, which isn't terrible, but also means I will have to deal with a weeks worth of work when I get back. Still, at least it's healing.
So I made a status update, but I thought I might join in on the fun.
I've made countless blogs about this so I will keep this short. I am a transgender woman and I am panseuxal, which is basically bisexual, but my attraction to someone isn't based on gender. I seriously don't give a shit if someone is male, female, transgender, intersex, ect. I am only attracted to that person for what make them them. People can bicker over the terms all they want, I just use it because it best describes my attraction. Bisexual can still work too, but by definition doesn't quite fit what I am looking for.
Still that's my blog for today. If you want to read more of my blogs covering this topic here are their links!
How's everyone else's day going?
To the most likely 20 people who PM me regularly and all the people watching my threads, you may have noticed I haven't been answering as many questions as I used, answering my messages regularly, updating my threads, ect. Well there are reasons for this.
First, I am a full time manager now, so I am always on call. So I am really only active when I know I am off the clock for the day.
I really only comment between projects. If I am not working, I am testing projects or helping build projects for people. If not that, I am actually trying to enjoy a game. Like I said, always on call, I rarely get to enjoy my games nowadays because I am almost always called away from them.
As well recently my boyfriends and I are looking for a new place to live. The new landlord for our apartments has gone ape shit crazy. For example, they've started entering people's apartments without giving notice, just walking in whenever they please, then leaving notices about what they found. They've also removed the pets rule, so people are expected to get rid of their pets and that's not ok. So we need to get the fuck out of her. So I am spending most of my free time looking for a better place to live.
So I am going to be putting a lot of testing and updates on the back burner. They are still going to happen, just don't expect the same rapid results I used to have until I get my life settled.
So September 12th is coming up and you know what that means? Another yearly blog about stuff!
Seven years ago I joined GBATemp, my goal was to bitch about not being able to play Pokemon HG/SS and Mario & Luigi Bowser's Inside Story. Never once did I think I would made it past the first month, let alone make it seven years.
There's really not much I can say that I haven't said before, the Temp has been there through my life's journey. I've shared everything from my life in High School, to graduating, to even moving 800 miles away from home. The Temp has seen me through my journey of self discovery, from The Catboy to Crystal. I mean, there's only so much I say that hasn't been said before about me.
So I guess I'll keep this short. I've been here for seven years and I am still posting strong. So I expect myself to be here for another seven years!
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