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    Crystal the Glaceon Some may have noticed that I vanished along side @Aurora Wright and might be wondering what happened to me? I honestly wasn't sure if I wanted to make this blog because I felt like it was just going to add to the toxicity that's become this community. At the same time I also felt like the Temp deserved an explanation.

    So one might wonder why I departed along side Aurora's departure? While it was actually both because Chaos' and Aurora's departure from the Temp that I decided to vanish. I was here to help the devs out with their projects. I helped give them a tester, feedback, and help out in the threads. I just wanted to help people. But when the devs left, I basically lost interest in helping the community. It became obvious that the levels of toxicity has reached far too high and it became harder for me to want to keep helping when the community chased away so many devs. And yes, this is completely the community's fault. Devs watched their works get completely dumped on the community and this shit even got devs like Aurora attacked. It became just a pile of shit that kept growing and spreading. Now I already made a rant about this before, so I won't go into detail again. It's literally the same rant.

    The second being an issue that I wanted to ignore. This issue has been one that is very recent, but needs to be talked about.
    removed to blackout names later
    This issue is the transphobia that become extremely prevalent in the community. These aren't uncommon posts anymore, these are just ones I happened to have screenshots of. Quite honestly these kinds of comments are simply not acceptable and should never have common ground on the Temp. Coupled with the reality that I am human behind this screen. I have emotions, I have a job, I pay taxes, and I help a community for free. I came here for 7 years and helped this site for free, just because I loved this community. I also came out as transgender because I felt safe here. In my 7 years of being a member, I never once felt unsafe with this community, and I never felt so attacked by this community. But in recent months, it's just not fun anymore. I get message like those, I get comments attacking me for literally no reason, and by people I don't even know. This just isn't something I want to deal anymore, but it troubles me knowing these are coming out of a community that I've helped for so many years. I've helped countless people and I've watched this community change over time. Change that has sometime been for the better and often for the worst, but this part of the change needs to be addressed. These kinds of comments aren't "personal opinions," they are hateful remarks that have no place on the Temp. I hate to get personal, but I can't sit on this anymore. I don't deserve this, I don't care what kind beef people have with me. I am not perfect, I make poorly thought comments, I have flaws, but I am still a person behind this screen.

    My last reason was to really rethink my character. Like I said before, Crystal the Glaceon is a character of mine. She was made to have fun of the forums and also as an extreme exaggerated character. So for example, I am a moderate Liberal in real life, so I made her extremely Liberal and unbearable to poke fun at myself. I also made her extremely lewd because I love ecchi comedy anime. She was made just for fun and give character to my posts. But recently I've replaced her with Lilith Valentine, who is actually much closer to the real Crystal. I know some of you are like, "What the fuck? Why would that make you leave?" Well because I was honestly growing tired of old username and growing tired of what became of my character. I've been debating on asking to get my screen name changed, but I've also decided to wait it out and see if I felt like that would still be necessary. I guess it's hard to understand the idea of a character account if you aren't using one. It's actually not something serious, it's just been something that's been on my mind for months. Like Crystal, don't take this part too seriously. This part is the rambling of someone who's playing a character and wants a change.
    Crystal the Glaceon So in my blog entry, Meet Goat! I made mention that I am actually a Luciferian, which of course brought up the question of what I actually believe. So after a few days I've ponder this over, I've decided to make a blog for educational purposes. Just a heads up, I am going to be taking from my comments on that blog because I did put a lot information into those comments. Please, if you don't think you can handle this topic, just be civil. I am perfectly fine with being questioned and even fine with concerns for my "immortal soul." I just ask everyone to be civil.

    So I've actually considered making a blog on the topic of my religion ideas for the sake of education. Both educating people on the ideas of The Left Hand Path and to really discuss different believes in a civil and understanding manor. Basically not as a means of trying to convert anyone, but as a means of educating people. Of course the only thing that prevented me from making such a blog are some select members, who I know will only comment on the blog to start a flame war until the whole thing gets shutdown. Which would just ruin the entire point of trying to make a civil educational blog post. It's rather unfortunate really because I think the vast majority of the Temp would actually really enjoy it, but they would also end up fanning the flames instead of just having a civil conversation. The blog section has become rather predicable.
    Luciferianism is an Enlightenment driven religion, based on finding enlightenment through the teachings of Lucifer. Luciferianism is a nature driven religion. It's far less about self-worship and more about self-betterment. Luciferianism in most forms still see Lucifer as a figure of enlightenment and a teacher/guide down the Left Hand Path. Seeing him less as the symbol of Human Nature, but as a symbol of knowledge.
    As for my actual believes, I am basically just a wanderer of the Left Hand Path. I do believe in a literal Lucifer, but not as a God though, but as a teacher. I see Lucifer as a guiding figure as I wonder my down the path and only there to give small nudges when I need them, but ultimately not some deity who is going to help give me a promotion or something stupid. He is a deity that only pushes for knowledge and self-betterment. My life's goal is progress and knowledge, in an effort to achieve enlightenment. I believe in finding enlightenment through knowledge, nature, and living every single day to the fullest. I believe that human nature should be embraced and not shunned or shamed (so long it's not hurting anyone or an animal and everyone involved is a willing/consenting adult.) I also believe that humans should be free without needless judgement. I don't believe my way is the right way for everyone or that their way is wrong. I simply follow the path that works best for me and has helped guide me this far during my journey in life.
    Now of course how does Luciferianism differ from Satanism? While both of them are a lot of similar aspect, both believe in self-worship, both believe in enlightenment through art, nature, and science. That biggest differences being that Luciferianism is more a kin to Buddhism. Striving to find enlightenment through human nature and the teaching of Lucifer. It's more so a nature driven believe structure than it is a self-worshiping structure. Satanism is more closely related to Humanism. It strives more towards the goals of human nature and self-worship, while seeing Satan as an image of human nature.
    I practice more along the lines of Luciferianism, but I still keep rules of Satanism as base guidelines. Basically Luciferianism is my religion, Satanism is my philosophy. This is actually one of the interesting aspect of the Left Hand Path, where believes aren't set in stone. The idea of mixing them together is perfectly acceptable and often encouraged. We believe that we wonder our own Path and if we need to make a new path, that's even better.
    Crystal the Glaceon So I am pretty sure most have noticed that my stickies and other threads haven't seen much love from my lately. It's not that I've been ignoring them or that I've intentionally lost interest in them. Unfortunately in recent weeks my depression has hit me something hard and just killed any attempts to really do anything. It doesn't help that I've had to cut back on my pain medication since it's not settling well with stomach anymore. So I am both in pain from my depression and in pain from my nerve damage.
    I normally don't like to talk about my medical issues because I hate having people worry about me. But recently it's become super apparent that these medical issues are cutting deeper into my life and I feel like it's time to just be open with one. First thing first, I actually have an immune system disorder where my immune system attacks my nerves. It's not deadly and it's not crippling (for the most part.) It is also mostly under control thanks to pretty much heavy pain killers. Still it can put me on edge because I am in pain and it can be hard to keep calm when you are under pressure. Which I would like to apologize if I've ever lashed out people. I don't mean to, but if I am either dealing with side effects from pain killers or put on edge because I am trying to think clearly, while not ripping my left arm off.
    The other problem is that I actually have bipolar disorder, which is also mostly under control through medication. But every so often I end up in some pretty dark episodes. In most cases I just duck away from the forums when I notice I am having an episode and for good reason. Last time I didn't duck away ended up being the "Lilith Thread," incident. Where I was already having a meltdown outside of the Temp, so when something small thing like having a thread closed happened, it was just a stressful enough situation to cause me to completely snap. I stopped thinking logically and just ended up lashing out. I actually quit because I had the option to re-open that thread. I was going to open that thread and redo it just to piss off the staff, but instead I realized what I was happening and just wanted to leave. Once I got better, I ended coming back because I really just wanted to send an apology to the staff for my actions. Since then I debated if I wanted to make a blog. I didn't want to sound like I was making an excuse or trying to get attention, at the same time I know a lot of people were worried about me. So I did reach out to those who directly asked if I was doing ok and decided to wait until my departure had blown over and this didn't come off the wrong way.

    I really don't want to come off like I want some attention or sympathy. These are medical conditions that are being treated. I am going to be ok overall. Yes they have an impact on my life and it's something that often causes me issues, but that doesn't mean they ruin my overall life. I just wanted to make a blog for people to understand me and understand that behind the screen, there is more to Crystal than just her posts.
    ...
    I hate depressing blogs, here's the most recent picture of Lilith being drawn by my friend. She's wearing the outfit of my D&D character Azsil. Azsil is a a rogue vishkanya.
    18601341_10213126670543165_951261543_n.png Scan2.jpg
    Crystal the Glaceon So what is Goat? Is a question I keep getting asked. While a Goat system is short for "sacrificial goat" which is actually a play on the term, "sacrificial lamb." It's basically an extra system I keep for basically everything that isn't gaming. Goat will be updated to the latest OFW to see if anything breaks, Goat is used for all CFW testing that is sent me, Goat is used to test out every new entrypoint, etc. Goat is basically on there to test and die if need be, so long as it keeps my main 3DS safe.
    How did I come up with the term "Goat system?" It's actually something I didn't create, but it is some tongue-in-cheek mockery of my believes. First, it's actually a term a found lingering in few programming groups I am part of, although it was only used by a few people and wasn't wide spread. But I also started using it because I thought it was a funny nudge at my Left Hand Path believes. Being the stereotype that Satanists/Luciferians preform "Goat sacrifices." So I thought the idea of a nerdy Luciferian like myself having a video game system as a means of a "goat sacrifice" would actually be pretty funny. So after seeing the name tossed around once or twice, I quickly latched onto it and started using it here and there. Although recently with the banwave happening, I just had to introduce the term to the Temp. Mostly because saying, "Old3DS isn't banned," is just boring, but "Goat isn't banned," adds a lot more character to the report.
    This is Goat
    goat.jpg

    To those interested, Goat is always running the latest OFW and is running B9S with a private CFW installed on the CTRNAND. Besides being setup for the Nintendo Ban, it's also being used to test out the latest builds (both public and beta) of ReiNAND (currently.) Every CFW sent to me for testing purposes are tested on Goat before being tested on my main New3DS.
    Closest I could get to a Goat theme

    HNI_0001.JPG
    Crystal the Glaceon I feel like I should make a blog in light of recent events, but I am not a dog. I don't think I am a dog, I am not an "otherkin," and I don't take the furry fandom seriously nor do I give enough of a shit to do so.
    That all being said, Crystal the Glaceon is a character of mine created to have some fun on the forums. I often use this character to give personality to my posts and make them stand out for a number of reasons, most of the time just for fun. I like to make people laugh or even just sit back in confusion. Whatever the effects, it's all meant to be fun and games. That has always been the point of adding a character behind my posts.
    Please, don't take me so seriously. I am just trying to enjoy the site and maybe add some more personality to the forums.
    Crystal the Glaceon Anyone remember my old Oreo DS? Doubt it! It's been like 5 years since that has been a thing! But today I bring you! The reverse-Oreo 3DS! I just swapped the plates of my 3DS with my boyfriend's 3DS.
    Warning: Spoilers inside!
    Warning: Spoilers inside!
    Warning: Spoilers inside!
    Crystal the Glaceon ᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗ

    WVW69kTBTiUA2j5y7F.jpg WVW69kTBT909E23Nm2.jpg WVW69kTBUSMYPhEXlT.jpg
    Game of the year for me.
    Crystal the Glaceon So before anyone call, "Clickbait!!!!!" first, this is my opinion based blog. Meaning that I am writing this not as a review, not behave of GBATemp, nor for any form of advertising. I am writing this blog based purely on my own personal opinions of Breath of the Wild, based on my own personal experiences in the game. This is not a review of the game, it's a ramble. I would also like to mention right at the start that I FUCKING LOVE THIS GAME! Seriously, I am not only still playing this game, but loving it. I would easily give this game a solid 12/10 if I didn't have so much to complain about. I am not making a ramble to review the game, but only express my thoughts on issues that effected my personal outlook on the game. OK, so the title is clickbait, but you get nothing for clicking on it other then reading my blog :P

    With the disclaimer out of the way, let me start my little ramble to why I personally can't give this game a 10/10. So I am going to get some of the obvious points out of the way, weapon durability and framerate. Weapon durability sounds great on paper and does add some realism to the game. Except for the fact that most weapons might as well be made of cardboard. Some weapons just break if you stare at them for too long, which just isn't fun. But complaining about this issue is a dead horse, everyone's already beaten it and now I am just kicking a pile of bones. Same with FPS, everyone's talked about it, but I am still going to add my 2 cents. 90% of the game runs amazingly well, it's just parts of the game that I wish Nintendo worked a little harder on. Now this isn't completely Breath of the Wild's fault, Nintendo's extremely poor allocation of resources doesn't help either. The fact that 1/3 of the system's resources are being used by background garbage has always troubled me, because I know this is why so many games aren't coming to the Wii U. The Wii U already had meh hardware, but Nintendo's software did not make it any better. This is where the Wii U should have added a "MHM" like the 3DS did, so they could have shutdown some lesser used background functions in favor of running better game. So like I said, not completely BotW's fault, but it's still something Nintendo should have done for this game. Nintendo had plenty of time to iron out the FPS issues and there's excusing them for not doing so.

    Now on to my other issues with game. First and foremost, horses are completely useless to me. They seem like a good idea, but they actually take away from the game for me. The fact that they can just auto-walk on paths isn't that bad, it makes going for a linear walk from one town to another a rather nice experience. That being said, that's all they are good for and actually trying to explore the wilderness with them is a painful experience. The horses actually control like real horses, which is both a bad and good thing. Good because it adds that little detail of realism to this game, bad because it adds too much realism and fighting my horse to go down a 2 foot ledge isn't fun. Seriously horses are like, "Slight elevation change? 3spooky5me!!" So my horses just sit in the stables 24/7, they just aren't worth carrying along with me if they aren't going to add anything to my exploration of the game. Now I have like 5 horses all named after famous horse furries that doing literally nothing.

    You can't save images on the SD card and that just pisses me off to end. Why even have a camera if I can't save the images I took in game? This not only added a useless gimmick to the game, but a gimmick that I can't even use to make funny images with! I had this funny joke I was going to make with Purah about her being completely legal because she's 190 years old and that didn't happen! THANKS, OBAMA!

    My other issue is Zelda's voice. The voice acting in this game is actually really good and I love almost all of the voices, their deliveries, everything. Except Zelda, why is she a whinny Brit? Seriously, why does she have a British accent and why is she so whiny? I am sitting here, trying to masturbate to enjoy her cutscenes and I just can't get over her voice. It's just off putting.
    Actual spoiler to the plot, you have been warned
    If I had to say anything positive about Zelda, she reminds of Princess Bubblegum from Adventure time. And this image
    C5vDaucWMAAFNKP.jpg

    Small gripe, Blood Moons also brings back the Guardians and Yiga Footsoldiers. I know it's a weird gripe, but those two really aren't same as the other enemies. The Guardians are just machines being controlled by Ganon, but ultimately aren't his actual minions. And Yiga Footsoldiers aren't his minions either, they are more like a cult around Ganon. So it just seems weird seeing them back after the blood moon. It's not too big a deal because I can get more parts for more weapons, something I fucking need because weapons break too easily!

    My final issue isn't the game itself, it's Nintendo. The fact that I own the Wii U actually make it hard for me to want to buy the Switch version. Why? Because I can't transfer my save, which means all the hours both my boyfriend and I put into our own games, is completely tethered to the Wii U. This is fucking stupid being that there's nothing inherently different (beyond graphical differences,) between the two versions. There have been games in the past that allowed save transferring between systems. Monster Hunter 3 for example, allowed you to transfer your save from the 3DS version to the Wii U version and vise-versa. So it's completely possible for feature to have been added and it's just stupid that it wasn't added to this game.

    Now of course this doesn't mean that I am not enjoying this game. In fact this is hands down the best Zelda game I have ever played. There are so many details to this game and standing on top of a tower is a breath taking experience. The game shows just how much you can push the Wii U's hardware limitations. Exploring isn't just fun, it's rewarding. No adventure feels old or stale. Every time I venture out into the world I am just blown away by how amazing the world is in this game. The story is actually worth playing and extremely engaging, making it enjoyable to unlock more of the game. But it also helps that this is an actual open world game and by that I mean you don't need to actually progress the story to explore the game. You aren't bond to the story nor story events to get anywhere. If you want to run from one end of the world to the other, you can do that. If you want to do random parts of the story completely out of order, you can do that. The game doesn't tether you and I fucking love that. Seriously, it's amazing how many "open world" games still tether exploration to story based events and I am glad Nintendo didn't do that. And of course, final bit of praise will be random screenshots. Not only is this amazing looking game, but I can't get over just how much I love these character designs and outfits (these are not own screenshots and were taken from Google.)
    e7afnf5sl0jkdrauo2px.jpg 58b88fabbe96731d008b45c3-1280.jpg zelda_botw_guide_naborisprep-1.jpg c81.png Zelda-BreathOfTheWild-minstrel.jpg 81s+CBI1CQL._SL1500_.jpg the_legend_of_zelda_15-145973.jpg

    This is quite possibly one the best looking Wii U games and has the best designed characters, outfits, locations, everything.
    Game gets a solid 8/10 for me. Those minor issues add up and really cut down on the score me. That doesn't make the game bad nor take away from the overall game, but they also can't be ignored
    Yil, s157, gnmmarechal and 2 others like this.
    Crystal the Glaceon So as many people know, I stepped down from being a manager to work night shift in my store. And I have no regrets doing so.
    Thus far the job is no where near as stressful compared to both being a manager and just simply working days in general. Because I am dealing less with customers, I am getting a lot more comfortable at my job and I actually enjoy going to work.

    One of the biggest things to change for me is getting actual sleep. I used to have a seriously hard time sleeping at night. So I would often stay up until like 3 to 4 in the morning and then have to be in at like 7AM to open the department. This is why I used to try so hard to avoid opening shifts. That doesn't happen anymore. I am basically being paid to stay up all night, something I was already going to do for free. This has greatly helped improve my mood and overall life.
    My boyfriends also both work days, so they aren't home all day. This means I sleep comfortably all day and get to spend a couple of hours with them before work. So I am in a better mood before stepping into work. Which has also helped them because I am no longer waking them up at 5 in the morning when I used to get ready for work.


    It helps that reports have for the most part stopped being sent in about me. I used to get some regular being transgender or gender related. Of course my managers ignored them, but they were still something that happened on a fairly regular basis. Or I would get complaints that would be filled with extremely transphobic comments. Yeah, not fun. That has pretty much all stopped. At most I get one drunken red neck making a comment about me and that's like once every so often. So it's a lot more comfortable for me to be open when I don't have mouthbreathers trying to get me fired.
    I would also like to note that these reports aren't that big a deal. My store sees about 300 to 500 customers every day, so the small number of them getting upset enough to report me isn't really that big a deal. I only brought it up because when an employee is reported, they have to look into it. Which means I often called to the back to talk about the reports and to make sure I was still following good customer service and all that stuff. Even if they didn't bring me to the back, they were still regular enough to be brought up to me as a concern. This wasn't that big a deal, but something that did hinder my work when dealing with it. I brought it because something that used to be regular no longer happens. That's actually something worth noting.
    I also just get my work done. I am rarely dealing with customers because there are rarely customers in the store. So it's just my crew and myself working on Modulars all night. Which is great because I adore my team. It's just 6 of us and we work amazingly well together. It also helps that one of the people I work with is the former department manager of electronics. So he's actually the one who trained me to be a manager in the first place and we worked together for several years now.
    Thus far I have nothing to really complain about with my spot. I am actually pretty content with this job. Hell last night I had to call in and I actually spent hours trying to prevent myself from calling in because I didn't want to. I actually enjoy working, even if it is for Wal*Mart, I am enjoying what I am doing. The job I wanted was a job where I go in, get my job done without bothering/being bothered by anyone and going home. That's what I am doing now and I am happy with that.
    Overall, this is just the job I wanted to do. I am in the background doing my job, people don't notice me, and my job gets done. I also have more time with the people I love, which really helps me push me forward.
    Crystal the Glaceon I actually got mine at launch in the US, but when will I ever have another time to share my N64? I also threw in my very first SNES. My family had a "family SNES" but this one in the picture was actually my personal SNES that I got for my birthday many eons ago.
    And I threw in the old3DS I use to use and now use for testing purposes and my new3DS from Black Friday ^_^
    [​IMG]
    Crystal the Glaceon Full name: Lilith Valentine
    Pronunciation: Lîlîṯ
    Nickname(s) or Alias: Lillie, Mommy Lilith
    Gender: Transgender Female (pre-op)
    Species: Wolfdog
    Birthday: August 9th, 1991
    Sexuality: Pansexual
    Nationality: American
    Religion: Luciferian
    City or town of birth: Facebook
    Currently lives: Panties
    Languages spoken: English and American English
    Native language: American English
    Relationship Status: Take

    PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
    Height: 5'4
    Weight: 150LB
    Figure/build: Healthy
    Hair colour: Pink and light pink
    Hairstyle: Wavy and down.
    Facial Hairstyle: None
    Eye colour: Light Gold
    Skin/fur/etc colour: Light tan with light brown patches. Perked up right ear and floppy left ear.
    Tattoos: None, yet.
    Piercings: None yet
    Scars/distinguishing marks: No scars
    Preferred style of clothing: Punk
    Frequently worn jewellery/accessories: She wears a pentagram necklace

    HEALTH
    Smoker? No
    Drinker? Yes
    Recreational Drug User? Which? Weed~~
    Addictions: Caffeine
    Allergies: Red meat
    Any physical ailments/illnesses/disabilities: Might be insane
    Any medication regularly taken: What are you, my doctor?

    PERSONALITY
    Personality: An overly hyper flirt
    Likes: Panties
    Dislikes: Windows and Bidoof
    Fears/phobias: Nope, not sharing those
    Favourite colour: I like colours
    Hobbies: Being a slut, gaming, doing secret stuff
    Taste in music: Black Metal

    SKILLS
    Talents/skills: Fast learner and knows a lot of about electronics
    Ability to drive a car? Operate any other vehicles? I am dog, I shouldn't be allowed to drive.

    EATING HABITS
    Omnivore/Carnivore/Herbivore (Vegetarian): Vegetarian
    Favourite food(s): Vegetarian tacos
    Favourite drink(s): Monster
    Disliked food(s): Pork
    Disliked drink(s): cucumber lime anything.

    Warning: Spoilers inside!
    Crystal the Glaceon You know what I haven't done in forever? Made a blog about CFWs! So here's my little blog about why I use Corbenik! I love Corbenik so damn much. First of all, I admire the hell out of chaoskagami for not only making this project, but because he's an honest person who stuck to his guns. He set out to make an advanced, poweruser driven, dev friendly CFW, and damn it, he made it! He took helpful advice from the community and always made sure his CFW was tested. Even when a bug is found, it's almost immediately taken care and tested to ensure it was fixed. But more importantly to me, is his focus. He has a goal and has striven straight towards achieving that goal without buckling. He's blunt, honest, but still extremely kind, he's not afraid to speak his mind, but isn't rude about it. Not to mention doesn't hold your hand, he's helpful, but expects you to also help yourself. Encouraging users of his CFW to think and learn from it.
    Corbenik reminds me so much of why I love homebrews so much and why I got into the hacking scene. Because it's a true work of art to me, it's complicated, it's interesting, and more importantly, it turned something as boring as a CFW into something fun. I haven't enjoyed hacking this much since my old DS hacking days, when I was testing out homebrew launchers for my flashcarts. Every update just brings something new and interesting, anything from small details to massive changes like a chainloader. It makes every nightly worth testing.
    This is a project I am damn proud that I supported at the start and even more proud to say is my main and only CFW/Bootloader. I know there's great things about the other CFWs and trust me, I've tried them all (I was running 6 of them,) but this one is just the best for me. It does everything I want and more. It's a great project that actually made me go out and learn about the things it was doing. I actually studied and enjoyed studying to know more about this CFW. And I am so happy that I did that, because that was the reason I came here, to learn and Corbenik has helped me do that. It's not the CFW for everyone, but it's damn well the CFW for me.
    Crystal the Glaceon So as followers of my blog may know, I became a manager over the summer and then put in to step down a few months later. It took like a month and a half for me to finally step down, but on Sunday, I officially started my spot on 3rd Shift. I still have the same pay, full-time, and benefits from this step down, so it wasn't a bad move on my end. But more importantly the job is a lot less stressful compared to being a manager.
    Being a manager is a lot harder than it looks. It's a lot paperwork, organization, and mental/physical commitment. Everyday for me was crunch time and everyday was just stress. I not only had a very limited time to finish my work, but I also had to oversee everything and everyone in my departments. I had to make sure everything done, otherwise I was the one who suffered for it. I could never enjoy a day off because if something went wrong, I was the one who was punished for it. Someone went late to their lunch? My fault because I didn't plan for that the day before. Something is lost? My fault for not having it ready when it came in the night I was off. Worst of all, I had split days off, which was shitty. It meant that if I did nothing one day, that was a waste of a day. If I did too much, I was tired the next day. I could never win. And being on call, meant that I was always dealing with issues, even over facebook. I couldn't escape my job, it just kept following me.
    This much stress was having horrible results on my overall health. I was dealing with horrible stress dreams, headaches, and always ill because I couldn't take a break. More often than not, I would wake up from panic attacks because of the stress. Which killed my sleeping and only added to the problems I was dealing with. And lack of sleep only caused me to become worse at my job, until I ended up with 2 coachings in one night. Which made me realize that this job was fucking horrible. It wasn't worth the amount of stress I was being put through. It wasn't worth being pressured and feeling worthless. It was like being an abusive relationship and I wanted out.

    So I finally put in to step down and finally got my spot on Mod Change Team for nights. 2 nights into the job and the stress dreams stopped, followed by the stress headache. I've also slowed down my drinking, I have entire fridge full of alcohol and I still haven't drank it because I don't feel like it. I've been 4 days into the job and my panic attacks have stopped and I am sleep a full day's rest. It's like night and day compared to when I started to what I am doing now. I am so happy I got coached, because if that didn't happen, I won't have realize just how much I hated my job. Or I would have quit instead. Sometimes something good can come out of something horrible.
    Crystal the Glaceon Something I am often asked (mostly in private) is why do I have so many depressing blogs? Well the truth be told, it's because I use my blog as a means of venting and getting thoughts out of my head. Something I never talk much about is the fact that I do have depression and I am bipolar. I go through some pretty extreme phases of depression from time to time and it's really hard to get control over with my stressful job. But I found simply getting those thoughts out there and just throwing them at a blog helps a lot. It helps get them out of my head and helps really ease my episodes because the thoughts that were dragging me down are now put elsewhere.

    I trust this community because I've spent years on here and know that I can vent these thoughts. I know this community is made up of great people, even if there some buttheads. In all honesty though, these blogs aren't really made for the community. They are made for me. At the same time it also gives a little peak into my mind and let the community really see what makes up who I am. Sometimes it just helps to let the community know that not everything is perfect with me. That I can have struggles and that I do have issues of my own to work though. Sometimes I feel like people often forget that there is another person behind the screen and they too have their personal live's to deal with. Which often is major push for these blogs. To show people that I am another person and that I also have my own problems. Which in turn actually helps me because it brings me back and helps me really look deeper at the problems. Seeing the words out of my mind and out in the open helps me take a step back to look them. Doing this allows me to become the outsider to my own mind. It helps me realize that I am a person and that I can tough through anything. It helps me fight against myself.

    That's why I make these blogs because they help me. And in turn, they help the community see a little bit more of me.
    Crystal the Glaceon As many people may know, I created a small guide to understanding CFWs and to explain the current CFWs. I did this because I love CFWs and I believe one glove does not fit all. I also did this to help the community by explaining the features of these CFWs and break them down into an easy to follow and understandable guide. But I also did this to bring attention to difference CFWs to help the community really figure out what CFW works best for them. I like I said, I love Luma3DS and I see how it got to the number one spot, but it's not the only CFW. Which brings to why I am making this blog/rant.

    Luma3DS isn't the only CFW, it's great, but it's not the only CFW. I respect and adore Aurora Wright, her and I go way back. But the simple truth is, there's more than just Luma3DS and Luma3DS does not fit the needs for everyone. I say this because all of this Luma3DS spam has actually hurt the community. I've seen countless CFW threads get spammed with, "WHY WOULD MAKE ANOTHER CFW WHEN WE HAVE LUMA?!?!?" and devs are basically bullied off this site in the name of Luma3DS. Devs have to defend their project or announce that it's no threat to Luma3DS or community will attack them. This is not acceptable, we are a homebrew community. We used to never hinder projects, when Wood R4 came out it wasn't spammed with, "JUST BUY AN ACEKARD 2I AND USES AKAIO!" The community was just happy to see more projects coming from the community. Nowadays devs are actually wary of releasing their projects on the Temp, I know this because I have been talking with burned devs. Devs who released their work and were burned from the community for simply trying something different. Devs who do tough it out just end up ignored and their work gets forgotten about, then abandoned. There was even a few times when the Temp Wiki was vandalized changing the CFW page "There's only Luma3DS :P" Funny as it is, it still shows just how bad the community is becoming.

    I am not blaming Luma3DS for this because it's neither Luma3DS nor Aurora Wright who created this problem. It's completely the community that is at fault. The community seems to have become this cult movement where they feel the need to spread the name of Luma3DS and defend it from any thing they see as a threat. The community has become stagnant and the idea of breaking the mold has become scary to the community. And this is not ok. This community is killing itself from within by not allowing projects to thrive, they are basically hurting the community. And this doesn't just hurt the CFW community, this has been hurting the Temp as a whole. Devs see how our community treats other devs and they just don't want to deal with the community if they think their project is only going to get attacked. This is not something a Homebrew community wants to have happen, we want devs to come to our site, and we want them to be welcome here.

    This is something I've been watching for months and even experienced on my own thread and in other threads.This mindset has really tore the community apart and killed projects before they could even get off the ground. And it saddens me to talk/work with these devs who were burned by the community that should have welcomed them.

    Just to make one thing clear, I don't say this because I am a Corbenik user. In fact I don't just use Corbenik, I also have Luma3DS on my CTRNAND. As well I have been using several privately developed CFWs. I say this because these private CFWs I use shouldn't be private and these devs should be allowed to share their work without fearing the community.